January 20, 2019

~ Thankful for a much-needed, long-overdue evening out with my Love. We started with a stop at Lowes, (doesn’t everyone?) and then a delicious meal at FD’s.  Finishing the tile floor nearly killed us both, so it was the perfect way to end his week of vacation.  

~ for the warmth and comfort from a crackling fire. I love cozy mornings snuggled up in the dark with my Bible, or painting beside it in the afternoon. 

~ for impromptu hugs from my little people, and “I love you Mama” for no reason at all. 

~ for a fun night for Carson Grace at Winter Formal. Thankful for sweet friends. 

~ for a wonderful refreshing at our newly reinstated mid-week church service. Intimate worship, spirit-led prayer…it was such a blessed way to refuel our hearts with our church body. And I loved experiencing it together as a family. On Sundays, we worship together and then the Littles head off to their classes.  In this service, we were all together (all but 2 youngest).  No electronics, no coloring pages, no “you-keep-busy-so-mom-and-dad-can-listen.”  At ages 7-17, they are all old enough to take in the Word of God for themselves. And pray with adults. Who knows how much they actually listen or understand, but I just truly believe seeds are being planted. I’m excited to see them grow into who God has made them each to be. 

~ for Sawyer’s wonderful Clinic visit on Thursday!  CANCER-FREE!!!  Glory to the LORD!  Josh and I are always freshly amazed that Sawyer is doing so well. And it is such a blessing to see others see him as a miracle, too.  The doctors scarcely know what to think. It’s my favorite to see Dr. Winick’s eyes shine as she listens to him tell her stories about his family or about school, and be genuinely thrilled with a picture he has made for her.  I’ve recently heard of so many of Sawyer’s “friends” specifically those that I’ve met through the online Infant Leukemia community: kids who have dramatic speech delays due to underdeveloped mouth and facial muscles from being fed through a tube for years instead of learning to eat by mouth.  Kids with social anxiety from being kept on isolation and never learning to interact with other kids.  Cancer in an infant can cause so many issues, with the disease and treatment occurring during the most formative months and years of brain development. BUT GOD!  Sawyer has faced so many traumas, yet the Lord has chosen to show healing mercies here on earth.  I will never understand why Sawyer is doing so well, when things could be so very different. And have turned out so very different for people who I love. But we just have to choose every day to trust that Our Good Good Father knows what He is doing, and that His plan supersedes our instincts on every level. And keep praying and praising.  

~ for good laughs. Near the end of his appointment, Sawyer said to Dr. Winick, giggling, “I know what comes next… you’re going to check my business.”  (Each visit includes inspecting his testicles – “business” – for any irregularities. Infant leukemia has a high rate of relapse in boys as testicular cancer.) Then he looked over at Gina, and said dryly, “you might not want to yook at this Aunt Gina. That would be inappropriate.“  

After we returned safely home on Thursday, I was astonished to realize it was EXACTLY TWO YEARS since Sawyer’s treatment ended (thankful to have all my Caringbridge entries to look back on!). We didn’t have the long-awaited celebration marking his very last chemo. Instead, he was riddled with multiple infections and unexplained fevers, even requiring blood transfusions.  He was getting weaker instead of better. So on January 17, 2017, the oncology team abruptly discontinued his chemo at his Clinic appointment. Very anticlimactic. And unnerving.  That day, just 3 hours after returning home from Dallas that afternoon, he spiked a fever and we were right back to be admitted to the hospital. It was such a terrifying time, to see him so sick when we were supposed to be celebrating. BUT GOD!  I never could have imagined him two years later: an active, vibrant, healthy, and THRIVING 5-year-old!  A living, breathing picture of HOPE!  Glory to the Lord!!!

Thankful for a good week.  Thank you for giving thanks with me!

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!” Psalms 27:13-14