Unraveled

I am thankful:

~ Thankful that there are some really spectacularly good people in this world. There’s so much junk going around, and I think we are all disappointed by people on a daily basis, especially in the traditional and social media. But this week I got some awesome reassurance in humanity. Cooper, our third born, the one who just had his 16th birthday, was out hanging out with friends last week and lost his wallet. Now the kid never ever ever ever EVER has money, but of course that week he had just gotten paid for a job AND had his birthday, so he was LOADED! What timing to lose everything. He left his information with store personnel at the places he had been, but especially since he didn’t even have a drivers license, there was very little hope. Until two days later I got an email. Someone walking in the store found: first his money, then his wallet. They opened it up and found Cooper‘s school ID, and contacted the school, who forwarded the lady’s information to me so I could reach out to her.

She then went out of her way to package up the wallet and spent $8 to mail it back to Cooper. And not a dollar was missing! Cooper’s joy at its return was priceless, and he was quick to say, “That was the LORD!”

~ for an unlikely family favorite: loaded taco salad. I heap the MOST GIGANTIC bowl on earth, and we all eat every last bite!

~ and for a new favorite snack. Cape Cod sweet and spicy jalapeño chips. I’m not usually a spicy chip fan, but the sweet counterpoint in these is SO TASTY! We (mostly I) MAY have bought 3 bags this weekend! I can’t stop!

~ for the glimpse of a glorious sunrise.

~ for the opportunity to cast my vote. As most of us feel, it’s more important than ever not to take this privilege/responsibility for granted. And thankful for the efficiency and convenience of early voting and a polling location close to our house. Tatum K and I were in and out in about 20 minutes.

~ for some rollicking family UNO games.

~ for my sweet kids that gathered the neighbors’ roses off the ground and brought them to their mama. They still saw beauty left to enjoy.

~ for a new recipe and the opportunity to surprise my sweetheart. About a month ago, for the first time EVER, my sweet husband snapped a picture of a dessert on a magazine cover and sent it to me. “Doesn’t this sound AMAZING?” Well, I kept the thought in my back pocket until this week. Pecan Pie Cheesecake Bars did not disappoint. And the look on Josh’s face was PRICELESS. He was so tickled that I remembered.

~ for “catching” sweet Sam reading her Bible.

~ for a wonderful evening celebrating the best reason to celebrate: Sawyer’s buddy Jase completing his 3 1/2 year cancer treatment! We took a drive out to the family’s newly built dream farmhouse, toured their stunning custom home, and got our fill of fellowship, including snuggles with the sweetest baby kittens and French bulldog puppies. We enjoyed the brisk weather around the campfires, and were introduced to their family tradition: the fine art of roasting biscuits over a fire. It was a wonderful night to celebrate a brave boy and the goodness of God!

Isn’t that such a great list of things to be thankful for!? Then WHY do I let get myself completely UNRAVELED over worries – over the things that God’s NOT DONE with??? ONE WOULD THINK I HAD LEARNED BY NOW.

It’s not as if I hadn’t lived through a miracle or two…

I think about how when I was a little girl You surrounded me, Lord. How I was pressed but not crushed, persecuted but not abandoned. BUT GOD. I think about how You showed me Your glory and Your love even when I didn’t know it was You, Lord. I think about the way You had a plan for my life even though I messed up over and over and over again, and I did absolutely everything wrong and backwards. You were so good to me. Obviously so much better than I ever deserved. Even in my darkest lost days You never left me. I think about the way You inextricably weaved Your plan and braided people into my path that nudged me in the right direction, whether they were negative or positive influences…You used for good with the enemy intended for evil. I think of how I met my husband two days after I moved to Texas, 1000 miles from home, all by myself with nothing but a Penske truck, a clock radio, a game boy, and three cats. I think of the way You wouldn’t let him give up on me just the way You didn’t give up on me. I think of the way You made me a mom. It was so far outside MY plan. BUT GOD. You meant for me to be a mother. And You gave me such a beautiful son. And You knew my deep-seated fears about being the mother of a daughter. But You gave me a daughter, (and eventually 4 more!) because you had a plan to bring beauty out of brokenness. I think about when I was the pregnant with Cooper and his sonogram showed several serious abnormalities in his heart and brain. How we agonized, watching all those issues sonogram after sonogram. BUT GOD. Because when he was born, he was PERFECT, all the abnormalities were GONE. You have walked us through bumps in our marriage, You have enlarged our hearts individually and together, and added beautiful children to our family in the LEAST EXPECTED WAYS. You have brought us to our knees and to the end of ourselves time and time again. Difficult relationships, finances, leaps of faith. Anxiety. Pain. Through better and worse, sickness and health. Losing a baby through miscarriage. Cancer. Launching a nonprofit. Starting a business. I could list the miracles of how You have carried us, story by story that I myself have LIVED for HOURS.

YOU. ARE. FAITHFUL.

Lord, keep the miracles You have done ever in front of my eyes so I don’t lose heart for the miracles I am still asking You for. I still get so scared. So impatient. BUT YOU ARE NOT DONE. You’re not done with me, with my marriage, with my kids. Thank You for being infinitely more patient with me than I am with You.

Whatever you are praying for, friends, He hears you. He is working and His Way is BEST and His timing is PERFECT.

Don’t lose heart.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” (Hebrews 10:23)

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalms 73:23-26)

“Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”” (Mark 9:24)

Momentum

I am thankful:

~ for MOMENTUM. Josh got started on all those projects last week (Click here if you missed them), and just kept right on going. The laundry room refresh was so great…but he still wasn’t satisfied. Monday he came home from work and started putting up a white subway tile backsplash! It turned out SO BEAUTIFUL! I genuinely LOVE going in there to do my laundry now!

~ Josh’s momentum inspired me to get back on scraping my beams! That daunting project has been on the back burner for MONTHS, but I got back at it this week. It’s going a lot slower because I am doing all the scraping by hand instead of using the planer (planer is just TOO LOUD for Tatum K and Bear ). But I am going to PRESS ON!

~ for a nice emerging tradition: Colton joining us for dinner on Monday nights. It’s typically his day off so it has been working well with his schedule, and we all just love having him with us. He enjoys having a mom-cooked meal and it does my heart good to have him home just for a minute.

~ for Tatum K’s bright and unpredictable personality. That spicy girl keeps me on my toes, and keeps me laughing every day.

~ for Gavin’s amazingly bright mind and creativity. He is gobbling up the WWII for Kids book he got for Christmas, and is always sharing what he is reading in it. He spent one afternoon creating his own “military code” inspired by something he read in the book, and got totally into writing coded messages. Can’t wait to see what God does with that brilliant mind of his.

~ for one of the most joyful and long-awaited days I can even imagine. Our beloved friends Chris and Lindsay finalized the adoption of their beautiful SON, Coby Tate. They have prayed to be parents for years, waited patiently and impatiently on the Lord, walked through agonizing heartbreak, and finally…FINALLY, the cries of their heart were answered BEYOND MEASURE! This is the absolutely most blessed and fortunate little boy. He hit the jackpot with the most loving parents on the planet. Thank You God, for Your faithfulness that is always right on time!

~ for the delicious decadence of a juicy C Rojo’s Wayagu burger and indulgent sweet potato truffle fries. I have been craving this burger for over a week, but we couldn’t ever catch the truck before they ran out of food! It was WORTH THE WAIT! SO GOOD!!!!

~ for the opportunity to see Kora give her speech to her class during their Toastmasters presentation. Her eyes just sparkle when she sees that I am there in the audience.

~ for lots of special Giddyup & Whoa pieces in the works. We have a few items going to the Vintage & Co Valentine’s Pop Up Shop coming up this week, February 6-9. If you are local, be sure to stop by. Jodi and her team have impeccable taste, and they always put together the best collections of unique vintage finds.

~ for the best Goodwill find in a long time: an awesome, unique coffee table! It was in bad shape: a blotchy, marred finish and layers of spilled glitter all over it, but it was crying out to be revamped. We gave it a good sanding and a bleach bath, and then I tried my hand at homemade liming wax for the first time. I am completely in love with the end result! I actually “rescued” a little desk out of a dumpster this morning (still in my bathrobe, no less) and I can’t wait to give it a makeover!

~ for another weekend of having Carson Grace and her roommate here. I miss her so much when she’s gone, and it just fills my heart to have her here even for a couple of days. And it’s my prayer that she gets her “tank” full when she comes home.

~ I’m thankful that when I backed out of my garage, not realizing that the garage door was partially down, I banged into it JUST A LITTLE, and barely dented the door instead of tearing it down completely.

~ for a fun night of food, fellowship, and football. East Texas has had SuperBowl fever with local hometown hero Pat Mahomes, Jr. being the talk of the press across the nation. So it was more fun than ever to have a house full of friends and “FRAMILY” to watch the game and cheer the Chiefs to victory. I can’t remember the last time I saw (and ate) so much good food, from spicy wings to juicy pulled pork; hot, cheesy cheese dip and rich, creamy banana pudding! I think the food was the star and the football was the bonus!

So many blessings, so much to give thanks for…but in all honesty, this has been a TOUGH WEEK personally. Parenting is NO JOKE. This stuff is Capital “H” Hard. And I know most of you are nodding your heads right now. Because life is full of lots of good if you choose to look for it, but positive outlook or not, life is also just plain HARD. Often I feel like I get going in a good rhythm, get through to one of the kids, get the house organized…and then, “whack-a-mole!” Everything falls apart. Back to square 1, or even worse. It’s just always something. Parenting was hard this week: we had to work through some not-very-fun stuff and say some difficult “no”s. But the Lord keeps pressing the word “momentum” on my heart. The simple definition of momentum is “mass in motion.” And the larger the mass and the faster the motion, the more momentum is created. Josh’s large vision and fast progression created MOMENTUM…it inspired us to GET moving and KEEP moving. But most of the time, it’s so easy to just waffle, or drift. Why is is SO HARD to gain and maintain POSITIVE MOMENTUM? And so easy to lose it…or even worse, pick up negative momentum? I know it’s partially because of our sinful, selfish, lazy nature…it’s just in there, whether we admit it or not. Most of the time we’d rather sidestep the hard work it takes to get moving and keep moving. But we also are subject to the negative impact of the world around us, and the enemy of Light that actively seeks to stumble us. WE CANNOT BE PASSIVE because negativity will pull us down. When things are hard at home. Or work. Or with the kids. If we passively have a “good day” and it’s followed by a “rough day,” we don’t ever get anywhere. But instead, we have to fight to press forward: through the hard AND through the “blah.” I just feel burning in my heart the challenge to PRESS IN AND PRESS ON. UNDETERRED. I am not by any means talking about muscling through in my own strength. I just mean pressing in to God in trust and in prayer when things get hard instead of slinking away and throwing my hands up. I’m not giving up! My “mass” of faith and hope is going to keep growing and gaining speed and creating positive MOMENTUM. When we have a rough day, I’m going to look to Jesus and believe that He is good, and He is working, and He is with me in the trial. And together we will press on. I’m going to scrape these beams. I’m going to raise all these kids. I’m going to serve my husband. And I’m going to fall on my face and make a zillion mistakes along the way. BUT GOD! Because I’m going to keep getting back up and keep not quitting. And by the grace of God, one day I will look back and thank Him for the perfect purposes He had for every piece. (I’m absolutely preaching to myself here, but I hope it encourages someone else out there…)

Let’s build up some positive, Jesus-inspired MOMENTUM this week, and love others well.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

(Philippians 3:13-14)

“For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:8-9)

Adoption

I am thankful:

~ for our beautiful Samantha, who received an award at Chapel for the Character Quality of Honesty. She is bright and beautiful and smart and so grown up for her age. So very proud of her.

~ for discovering the most amazing donut shop! There were about 1 million choices, but Tatum settled in on a frosted doughnut rolled in Froot Loops while I dove into a maple glazed donut smothered with bacon. LIFECHANGING!

~ for amazingly fast shipping. I’ve been looking for a fuzzy fleece pullover for one of the kids, but the store didn’t have the size we needed. So I placed the order online. I couldn’t believe it when it arrived at my door the next morning! How do they do that???

~ for a truly terrific chewy, ooey-gooey chocolate chip cookie recipe.

~ for a quick midweek visit with Gina Sue. We did our best to catch up on each other‘s news, and she treated me to delicious comfort Starbucks coffee and friendship bread. Love our time together.

~ for new friends and for the most delicious baby snuggles.

~ for the nervous excitement of 2 Giddyup & Whoa sales this week. The Vintage & Co “Christmas in the Country” sale is Wednesday through Saturday, and The Market at Harvey Hall is Saturday. I’ve been painting, wood burning, tagging, and photographing NONSTOP (usually with Bear at my feet and Tatum K hanging on my back). So thankful for the opportunity to do what I love to do, and hope that the Lord continues to bless our efforts.

~ for TRUTH. I’m thankful that I know that I know that I KNOW the promises in Scripture. The promise that God will never leave me nor forsake me. The promise that this world is not my home. The promise that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. Because my flesh fails me. My eyes look around and see chaos and storms and I take my eyes off Jesus and start to sink into the sea of fear. Anxiety has been raging this week. Like always, the assaults come out of nowhere, without warning or cause. But no matter how paralyzed I FEEL, I KNOW THE TRUTH. I know that Jesus see me, that He is right there with me, and that everything is going to be ok. I speak His Name. And even though it’s not magic, and it doesn’t instantly squash an anxiety attack, I believe in the POWER in the Name of Jesus. I know He is more real than anything I feel and anything I fear. HALLELUJAH.

And this week I am freshly thankful for adoption. November is Adoption Month, and this Sunday our church had a special service honoring the MANY families in our Body who are adult adoptees, foster and adoptive parents, and their support systems, as well as sharing information about the foster care crisis in our nation. It was so emotional to hear from adults reliving their experiences: being adopted and raised by a loving family from infancy, or the pain of being removed from biological parents and placed in foster care. We saw a family dedicate their newly adopted son, alongside their MASSIVE extended family, which included biological kids, siblings, adopted siblings, grandparents, more adoptees…it. was. AWESOME. Beautiful. God-breathed. I’m so thankful to be a part of a church that actively believes in and has chosen to cultivate a culture of adoption. Not everyone is called to adopt, but we are all called to lay our lives down for one another. And that might mean taking a meal to a foster family, or providing respite care. Something as simple as texting a word of encouragement or as practical as calling in pizzas could be just the glimmer of hope a very tired mom or dad desperately needs.

I’ve always been drawn to adoption. Many times in my youth, I found myself welcomed into other families. I was always on the fringe, a little lonely, a little lost, and God braided people into my life at just the right times. And that is exactly what God does for us when we become a part of His family. He takes the lost and the lonely, and He gives us a new name, a new identity, a place to belong. And we become sons and daughters. Heirs. I think it was really good for my children to see how many other adoptees were around them today, of all ages. I think (I hope) it made them feel extra special to be recognized. Adoption is always complicated, because it always involves loss. But we love because God loved us first, and I truly believe that when we keep Christ in His proper place: at the head and at the center, adoption can bring the unexpected beauty from the most broken of places. We still have lots of broken places in our family, lots of healing still being worked out. But God. And no matter what my eyes see, I believe that His plan is good. He is working on the hearts of each of my children, and on mine. I am thankful that I am the most blessed mama in the whole wide world. Remind me that Lord, when so many times I forget.

Try to love on a foster or adoptive family this week. They need it.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (John 14:18)

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “ Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” (Romans 8:14-17)

“But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “ Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.” (Galatians 4:4-7)

Seasons

I am thankful:

~ for 2 sweet quick visits with 2 different dear friends before they move away. It’s so hard to say goodbye to people you love. But seasons are always changing and you just pray that you can find a way to stay connected regardless of location. Tatum had a great time playing with a friend, and later having a delicious breakfast of diced tomatoes and chocolate milk!

~ for the stunning color of the fall leaves. People say Texas doesn’t really get seasons. And while the foliage may not be as electric nor the temperatures quite as brisk as in the north and northeast, I think East Texas is beautiful in the fall. I love the drop in temperatures, pulling out the boots and sweaters, and the crackle of a fire in the evenings. To me, the autumn season was the ideal choice for scheduling Thanksgiving: leaves change and fall, colder weather makes us want to cuddle closer, we hunger for the warmth of nostalgic comfort foods…it’s a season built for looking around at our surroundings and seeking to give thanks.

~ for a extra special week for Kora. Her class presented the Chapel program, a Tribute to Veteran’s Day. It was an inspiring and reverent program, and all the students did a beautiful job with their songs and recitations. Then as a part of her classroom’s weekly Toastmasters presentation, she gave her original speech. Big week for our girl. She delights in having her turn in the spotlight, and nothing makes her light up more than seeing Mama and Daddy smiling from the audience. So proud of her.

~ for the rare opportunity to surprise my girl! Carson Grace invited us to a special event as a part of her music major program, Student-led Night of Worship. Unfortunately, she invited us about 22 hours before the program. I let her know we were very proud of her, but told her how difficult it would be to make arrangements to get all the way to Marshall the next evening, especially on a school night. But as soon as I got off the phone with her, I got to work planning those details. Even that evening, as we were on the road to Marshall, I continued to text her and tell her that we loved her and were praying that the service would go well (true statements). When we showed up at the recital hall (you can imagine, a Tribe of Littles is quite a spectacle on a college campus, so we weren’t hard to spot), she saw us and burst into tears. I’m so thankful we made it a little early so she had time to get herself together before taking the stage with her worship team. What a blessing to see our beautiful daughter, singing unto the Lord with her peers. It was just awesome. After her set was over, she joined us in the audience, and squeezed me so hard…it felt great to know how much it meant to her that we were there. It was an incredible night worshipping together, and even the Littles totally got into it, clearly blessed by the presence of the Lord.

~ for lots of progress in preparation for our 2 upcoming Giddyup & Whoa sales: Vintage & Company’s “Christmas in the Country” and The Market. Josh has been building and building for me, and I paint every chance I get. The kids love being a part: helping design, paint, and construct; and they are always eager to “model” for me. So thankful for the opportunity to create together as a family, and hopeful that we are coming into a busy season for the business.

~ for successfully surviving the last (and coldest, and WETTEST) JV football game of the season! Armed with our blankets, scarves, gloves, and hot chocolate, the Littles and I made it to halftime, and left Dad, Colton, and Brooke to cheer Coop on to the bitter end. I love watching him play, so I’m sad to see the season end, but I WILL NOT miss shivering in the bleachers with 875 whining kids.

~ for our furry, floppy muppet dog, Bear, who turned 1 today! He has been such a fun addition to our crazy Tribe.

~ for relaxing evenings, chilling and watching the Cowboys. Ok fine. If you know me, I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about football. I can barely keep my eyes on Cooper’s jersey to see where he is on the field at his games. I can get into sports when I know personal stories about the players, but otherwise, it’s hard for me to follow. BUT. I love my husband. And my husband loves to watch the Cowboys. So I love to be near my husband while he watches the Cowboys. I paint or write, and I cheer when he cheers. We’ve got a system down.

~ for a weekend with our girl home from college. We enjoyed a RARE laid back weekend devoid of a schedule. Carson Grace got to sleep in, we ran some errands, ordered some much-needed glasses for both of us, and spend the evening watching Lion King all together.

~ for unexpected blessings. One of the reasons Carson Grace came home for the weekend was because she had been invited to be a guest vocalist at the church of one of her professors. The church was in Athens, and we decided to load up the whole Tribe and go with her. Carson Grace of course did an absolutely wonderful job sharing her song, and blessed the heart of the Lord and every parishioner in attendance. But it was clear the moment we got there that the He had a very specific purpose for our family visiting that church. The pastor (who teaches voice part time at ETBU, and was the one who invited Carson Grace) and his wife have recently taken in 4 foster children. Recently as in 3 weeks ago. I looked into that mama’s tired tired eyes and knew exactly what she was feeling. Oh, how vividly O remember the pain of that season, of those raw first weeks. Josh and I were able to share our foster/adopt story and listen to where they are in theirs. We could relate to one another on such a strikingly similar level, and there was such hope in that. After church was over, our 2 families went for pizza, and the adults visited as much as we could while juggling kid plates, refilling cups, wiping noses and wiping spills… We sat there and told the stories we have told so many times. Stories of broken beds, and heads cracking through windows. Stories of getting locked out of the house by 3 toddlers and of the end of life as we then knew it. BUT GOD. Because the kids from those stories are gone. They really are. I can’t think of a day when I was more proud of my children. As we were telling those stories with the grownups, OUR kids were loving on THEIR kids. Our little girls were chatting it up with their girls, and have already declared that they are friends who can’t wait to see each other again. Their little guy and Sawyer had been in Sunday school class today that morning, so they were tickled to buddy up at lunch. And Carson Grace and Cooper were kind and conversational with their quiet and reserved 16 year old boy. It was beautiful. I’m not even bothering to hold back my tears as I write this tonight, with the images fresh on my mind. I ache thinking of all that these precious children have gone through, more than anyone even knows about. They have been shifted around and let down by the ones who they trusted to keep them safe, and so many others after that. I can only imagine how broken and scared and confused they are. And I know how shell shocked those foster parents are right now. Everything about their life has changed overnight. And they are holding on for dear life, clinging to Jesus, desperately trying to be obedient to whatever He asks them to do. I’m so grateful that we got to meet this family today, and ask that you would join me in praying for them. They need it. And I’m so grateful that the Lord used this day to show me afresh how far our beautiful children have come, and the beauty that shines from the ashes of their story. Their story is one of brokenness and loss and pain, and a story of love and redemption and healing and hope. And today I got to see them ministering. Thank You Father for fresh eyes to see the miracle of New Life.

Whatever season you find yourself in, may you remain securely anchored into Christ. When things are bad, hang on. Jesus is holding you, He is fighting for you, and He will never leave you. And this season won’t last forever. And if you are in a sweet season, a season of plenty, of peace – set that anchor DEEP. Study His Word, seek God’s heart, pour into the lives of others. Invest wisely in eternity during seasons of peace, because that season will end too. And we never know what’s ahead. We just know that our best days are still to come. Which season are you in? Who can you encourage this week?

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

““Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:3-9)