See the Good.

I am thankful:

~ for sweet smiles from this sweet girl. She did this puzzle all by herself!

~ for a deliciously ooey-gooey grilled fried-green-tomato-pimento-cheese sandwich on buttery sourdough.

~ for an exciting surprise in the mail for Sawyer. He received an official championship ring from Derek Holland and his friends from the Celebrity Softball Classic that we attended back in June. Watching his gleeful amazement was priceless!

~ for a new baby calf next door.

~ for a fun Homecoming week for Cooper. He had the honor of being asked to emcee the Homecoming Pep Rally, and did a FANTASTIC JOB. He is so in his element on a microphone in front of an audience! And then he had a great time in the pouring down rain cheering Cougars to a Friday night victory and then a great night with his friends at the Homecoming Dance on Saturday. How is this his Senior Year???

~ for the most delicious homemade tamales with fresh salsa.

~ for new growth. Last weekend we spread grass seed and wildflower seed: Texas bluebonnets, red poppies, black-eyed Susan’s, crimson clover, and other assorted native wildflowers. 7 days later, we have sprouts!

~ for a fun night hosting our church youth at the farm. Two-touch football + volleyball + a bonfire + hot dog and marshmallow roasting made for a lively evening with a terrific group of kids. So special to be able to share our Happy Place. I can only imagine how many gatherings we’ll get to host. Thank You Jesus for this ever-unfolding-dream-coming-true.

I’m thankful for the discipline of Sunday Gratitude, and the accountability to meet here each week to count my blessings. Y’all, sometimes it’s not easy. The world weighs. Irritations mount. Another fire flares up as soon as I put one out.

This week felt more yucky than good.

I was having a long talk with one of my kiddos who was having a hard time. I shared about starting Sunday Gratitude 8 years ago, when I realized I needed to look past the insurmountable trials that were all around me and focus instead on whatever blessings I could thank Jesus for, however small or insignificant they might seem. To transform my self-focused lowly attitude (however justified it might have been) to one of humble gratitude in the midst. I told my child, I could write about (insert current trial) and (insert current irritation) and (insert current disappointment). I could write about sickness and building delays and gas prices and politics. AND ALL THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE.

But GOD.

Because all the blessings are true too.

So where should I focus my gaze, focus my energy?

If we become what we consume, do I want to fill myself with grumbling and self-pity; or rather with praise and thanksgiving?

My faith is small, but my God is BIG.

I am weary, but He is FAITHFUL.

Whatever you are facing, friend, hold fast. You do not walk alone, and better days are coming. See the good. It’s there, if you only look.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.” (Psalms 30:5)

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31)

“Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.” (I Chronicles 16:34)

FALL-ing in Love

I am thankful.

This week was Fall Break at school, and I’ve had a dream cooking for QUITE A WHILE.

LET’S CAMP AT THE FARM!!!

Josh wasn’t too sure. Our bed at home is very comfy. He likes air conditioning. And a toilet.

But he loves me and has become quite accustomed to my crazy ideas.

So we camped Thursday – Saturday. 1 tent + Mom + Dad + 8 kids + 2 dogs. Sounds like a fiasco? WE HAD A BLAST!!!!

And of course we got a few projects done…

We enjoyed the crisp temperatures in the mornings and evenings and marveled at how much better food tastes when cooked and eaten out in the fresh air.

Everyone MOSTLY got along. And no one ever asked to play on a phone or an ipad.

There was something really special about waking up on our farm. Knowing it was OUR FARM. And even if it was just for a couple days, I feel like new roots went down deep this weekend.

Even if we came home craving showers and our real beds…and even if I have done 43 loads of stinky, smoky laundry and still have 86 more to do. Even if we had to do head to toe tick checks and bathe the dogs 4 times…

I think we all fell in love.

Every muddy shoe and stinky armpit teenager was absolutely worth it. This is investment in their future. So thankful for our Tribe, for our farm, and for every adventure yet to come. So grateful to the Lord for His plan for our family that we never saw coming.

Thankful for the opportunity to appreciate a slower pace and the gift of simplicity. Amazing how near the Lord’s Presence seems to be when we tear ourselves away from the manic pace we train ourselves to crave. I know farm life won’t always be beautiful and relaxing and picturesque. But I truly count this weekend as a memorable gift that I will always treasure. We didn’t have to travel far to go somewhere GRAND.

Time to get back to the laundry pile, and the real world that is waiting. But I go with a heart bursting with gratitude.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, proclaiming your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night,” (Psalms‬ ‭92‬:‭1‬-‭2‬)

“Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it. Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy.”
‭‭(Psalms‬ ‭96‬:‭11‬-‭12‬)

Small

I am thankful:

~ for a much needed lunch with a friend. It may not have gone exactly (or ANYTHING for that matter) like we had planned, but we knew it was exactly what the Lord had for us that day. And my avocado BLT was DELICIOUS.

~ for Tatum K’s very first Character Quality Award at school. She received a certificate for demonstrating the quality of “Orderliness.” I must admit that this particular award came as rather a mystery to those of us who share a home with Tatum… she’s quite distinctly known for being a tornado, and leaves a wake of princess dresses, miniature doll limbs, and mismatched shoes in her wake. But since receiving her award, she has clearly been inspired to rise to the expectation. She has been picking up after herself, announcing, “Mama, I’m being ‘orderliness.’” Love that sweet girl.

~ for an awesome night of great food, fellowship, and testimonies at church. And thanks so much Miss Ruth, for sending me home with the tastiest pasta salad EVER!

~ for a perfect evening out at our friends’ farm. What a joy to share a meal in the fresh air and watch all our kids running and enjoying one another. My loves are chomping at the bit to get their own chickens ASAP!

~ for beautiful moments. That is my favorite part of being out on the farm. It’s just so refreshing to breathe deeply real fresh air and look out at God’s Creation.

To listen. And to feel really small.

There’s something…I don’t know, it’s so hard to describe. But it seems like there’s something…IMPORTANT…to having eyes to see what God alone has made, from the most majestic to the minute.

Sometimes it’s just necessary to realign our perspective. God is God. I am not. I may pray to him dozens of times throughout the day, and talk to Him intimately as a Father and a friend.

But He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. And He spoke life from nothingness with a WORD.

It’s good that we remember Who we are talking to.

And it’s good to feel small.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!” (Psalms 8:1, 3-4, 9)

Pure Gold

I am thankful.

For God’s favor.

For kindness.

For people who are generous with their time, their gifts, and their resources.

For fellowship.

For new friends and old friends.

THANK YOU to everyone who came to Tyler Gold Run, who donated, who volunteered, who helped behind the scenes, and who prayed. You have truly made a difference by going gold.

September is almost over. Our mission is not.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” (Luke 10:2)

“David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.” (1 Chronicles 28:20)

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”(Hebrews 10:23-25)

All Systems GOLD

I am thankful:

~ for a delicious traditional gyro smothered in tzatziki sauce.

~ for a crisp, fresh new candle.

~ for my new diffuser running nonstop with eucalyptus oil.

~ for new Tyler Gold Run shirts! Always exciting to open the boxes and see the latest design. And it doesn’t hurt that I have the cutest models in all the land!

~ for a week of all things GOLD: hours of putting out Tyler Gold Run signs, Run Committee meeting, radio interview, speaking to 3rd graders about Gold Network and Childhood Cancer Awareness Month,

and for the arrival of my long-awaited custom GOLD glitter chucks!

~ for the conquering of an IMPOSSIBLE SATURDAY. Talk about a day when we needed a few clones! We had one sister with a cross country meet in Longview at 8am. One sister with a volleyball tournament in Gladewater at 8:15am.

And mom had Tyler Gold Run swag bag filling in Tyler at 9am.

SuperDad expertly shuttled the girls where they needed to be, and the rest of the Tribe helped me. Then we headed to the barn to hang sheet metal for 9 hours! Days like that harshly remind me of my age. But God!

~ for wonderful fellowship with dear friends at church and afterwards. What an awesome gift.

We are all systems GOLD this week. Speaking to schools, several interviews, last minute details, coordinating volunteers, and every big and small detail leading up to our 8th Annual Tyler Gold Run 5K. I can’t believe it’s been 8 years! What a ride!

We’ve learned so much and met the most incredible people along the way. I will never understand why Sawyer got cancer, but I will never stop thanking God for the undeniable beauty He brought from those painful ashes. You can learn more about Gold Network of East Texas or register for the run here. Local or not, runner or not, you can make a donation at any time via our website. Do it for Sawyer. Do it for Bristell. Do it for Sophie. Do it for all the children around the world who need someone to stand up and say that kids with cancer need better care and more funding. Together we can make a difference.

Hope to see lots of you Saturday!

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:58)

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” (Proverbs 31:8-9)

23

I am thankful.

I am thankful for this man. This man who came into my life so unexpectedly. Who pursued me so relentlessly no matter how hard I tried to discourage him.

I’m so thankful he wouldn’t give up on us.

I’m thankful we grew up together in almost every way. We simultaneously became best friends, parents, spouses, Christ followers, and started a completely new course for our lives almost overnight. And we never looked back.

I’m thankful that he taught me a love like I had never seen before. I’m thankful for the amazing dad he became overnight, and the way he has learned and grown and outdone himself over and over through the years. I’m thankful that he boldly and courageously leads our family to honor Jesus.

I’m thankful that the words “Giddyup and Whoa” were spoken over us two decades ago, and that they have consistently remained true, almost comically so. Sometimes we are so opposite we drive each other crazy, but we know we need the balance the Lord built into our relationship. Can’t drive without BOTH a gas pedal and the brakes.

I’m thankful we learned how to communicate, how to extend grace, and to forgive. I’m thankful that even though we learned a lot of things the hard way, that at least we did learn. And we are still learning. I’m thankful that God knit us together so tightly in preparation for the trials we didn’t know were ahead. We clung tightly to Him and to one another through darker days than we could have imagined.

I’m thankful for laughter and adventures, for Mexico, for the everyday grind, for back-breaking labor, impossible projects, and working side by side. He’s seen me at my worst. He knows all my details, and he still sticks around.

Today we celebrated 23 years of marriage. We served a luncheon at church, hung metal out at the barn all afternoon, and ate gas station pizza with the kids for dinner.

For better, for worse.

In sickness, in health.

For richer, for poorer.

Thank You Jesus, we are so very rich indeed.

I’m thankful we’ve never stopped dreaming. And that we will continue to be strong and courageous and DO THE WORK.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“I’m gonna live where the green grass grows

Watch my corn pop up in rows

Every night be tucked in close to you

Raise our kids where the good Lord’s blessed

Point our rocking chairs toward the west

Plant our dreams where the peaceful river flows

Where the green grass grows.” (Tim McGraw)

“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

September is Coming…

I am thankful:

~ for the yummiest perfectly toasted cranberry Einstein Bagel.

~ for everyone (even me) settling in to the school routine. This little nugget is loving her class SO MUCH! She says she especially loves the naps and “a-spanish.”

~ for a super fun evening of fellowship with our church Women’s Ministry painting at Pinot’s Palette.

~ for NO MORE PUPPIES IN MY HOUSE!!! Pups #6, #7, and #8 found their families early this week.

#8 (aka Blue Boy, now named Rusty) was lone wolf for a few days until his new mama could drive in from Laredo, so he got some extra special treatment. This was a much more challenging litter, with the new smaller surroundings, brutal summer heat, and less than ideal timing during back to school. SO THANKFUL to have “been strong and courageous and done the work” and to now have it behind us!

~ for Josh’s Father’s Day gifts getting lots of use: his noise canceling headphones, equipped with Bluetooth AND AM/FM tuner, perfect for listening to Texas Rangers Baseball while he mows.

And his stackable scaffolding, which makes the continued process of building our barn possible. (Still not a fan of heights though!)

~ for our boys’ joy at finding creatures out at the farm.

MOST creatures anyway!

This little feller was NOT welcomed, and was met SWIFTLY with his demise!

~ for Kora’s very first Cross Country meet. We all got up at an ABSURD hour for a Saturday morning to have her an hour early for a meet an hour away! I’ve never even attended a Cross Country meet before! It was a great experience for all of us, and special to be there for Kora’s very first activity. I failed miserably at getting pictures, but she ran hard and did great. We are so proud of her!

~ for a fabulous treat, lunch at the world famous Dairy Palace in Canton on the way home.

~ for more hard work at the farm. I’m so worn out, my TIRED IS TIRED. Josh didn’t earn the nickname “Mr. Giddyup” for nothing. I’ve never been so thankful for Mondays in my life – because I get a break!

It’s a big week. Tuesday Gold Network of East TX will host our annual Go GOLD ETX event on the Downtown Square to kick off Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. It’s always such a special evening to honor our HEROES and cheer them on as they walk the gold carpet with their families. And a sobering one as we see the impactful display of all our kids on the ever-expanding Wall of HEROES, and when we release balloons for the friends we’ve lost along the way. Please join us if you are local: 6:30-8:30pm on the Tyler Downtown Square.

And then it’s September.

I can’t believe I’ve been blogging now for 8 years, since Sawyer’s cancer diagnosis turned our world upside down. I’ll never forget God telling me to thank Him while laying on that vinyl couch next to the hospital crib where my baby was receiving chemo.

THANK HIM? But I did. And it changed me. And I’ve been thanking Him ever since, sometimes freely and sometimes completely against my will. As much as I hate cancer and mourn all that Sawyer was forced to endure, I am grateful for the mission and ministry that was birthed from that excruciating season of suffering.

In 2015, we found 9 families in East TX that had faced childhood cancer. 7 years later, we have connected with more than 100. Which is simultaneously wonderful and devastating. BUT GOD.

Will you GO GOLD with us this year? Follow Gold Network of East Texas on social media to learn more about childhood cancer and how YOU can make a difference.

And thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

““Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:3-4)

Victory

I am thankful:

Truly overwhelmed in the very best way tonight. Humbled. Blessed.

Today Zoe (10) and Sawyer (8) chose to make their public profession of faith through the covenant of baptism.

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” (3 John 1:4) Every child is special. Every baptism is cause for great rejoicing.

The Lord really spoke to me about these two leading up to this day.

Everybody pretty much knows Sawyer’s story. He’s a walking miracle in every way. We never dared dream he’d live to see his FIRST BIRTHDAY, let alone grow up to be an incredible 8 year old with a heart for Jesus and make his own solid decision to follow the Lord.

Not as many people know about our Zoe. Our quiet mouse. Our brown eyed girl. She’s a little mystery. Lots of struggles. Lots of sweetness. We met Zoe as a sickly, completely non-verbal, terrified 18 month old that had been in foster care for more than half her life. She immediately attached herself to Carson Grace’s and wouldn’t allow her to put her down. Like EVER. Carson had a rug burn rash on her hip for weeks! Within days of Zoe’s arrival in our home, she began to respond to and mimic the simple sign language I taught her, and within months she was a healthy, happy little girl, presumably for the first time in her life.

Zoe is a walking miracle in every way. And to see her make the conscious decision that she wants to follow Jesus melts my heart.

The gravity of what happened today has really given me pause. I look at these two beautiful children, and realize how purposefully Satan pursued them. He actively sought to rob them of their very lives before they even began. He must have known that God had a remarkable purpose and plan for each of them, so he tried to steal them away.

But he failed.

Zoe and Sawyer belong to Jesus.

I think about the rumble that tore through the heavens as the saints and angels rejoiced and their lives were SEALED.

I think of Uncle Alan, who spend his birthday (which JUST HAPPENED to be today) with Jesus. We missed him terribly today, but I know EXACTLY how loud he was singing “Happy Birthday to MEEEE” when his niece and nephew came up out of that water. Nobody loved their birthday more than Alan, and I know he was THRILLED to share his earthly birthday with their spiritual one.

I think about my friend, my Brother, who baptized my children, his first time “officiating” in that way. A life changing moment for all three.

I think about Zoe’s sweet camp counselor who prayed with her and led her to accept Christ, and who joined us for her special day. Zoe has made such an impact on her.

I think of Sawyer’s oncologist, and back to the day when she voiced her honest questions and skepticism about faith, and Sawyer’s simple response, “There is an order to all things.” And I know he has made such a remarkable impact on her already, AND SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE PRAYING FOR HER because of him.

I think about all the chains that have broken, and the sting of death stolen because of what Jesus did for us, for them, and I marvel at the impact this day will have on the lives of countless others over the years.

I am so honored to get to be their mom, and now their sister in Christ.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity…”” (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

Thankful and Tired

I am thankful for a blessed and busy week. I’ll let my photos speak for me…

Had a hankering for homemade apple cake. Tried a new recipe, and it’s a KEEPER!

Somebody got themselves caught under the ladder

Father’s Day gift – new scaffolding! Best seats in the house!

Found our first live snake! Harmless tree snake.

Everywhere is evidence that TATUM K WAS HERE!

Installing utility sink! Such a blessing to be able to wash our hands! (And fill the coffee pot, of course!)

Epic turnout for Annual Gold Network ETX Toy Drive! 2967 toys and gift cards!!! THANK YOU for your donations!

Delivering to Children’s Hospital in Dallas

Our Dream Team, nurses that cared for Sawyer from diagnosis as a baby up until today as a healthy 8 year old! Glory to God!

Starting our first burn pile was a little scary

After weeks of a serious dry spell, God sent a fantastic shower on the day of our fire, helping us keep it manageable. So thankful!

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest.” (Psalms‬ ‭85:10-12‬)

BUSY!

I am thankful:

~ for a whirlwind week full of hard work and fun! Literally not one single day or evening free.

~ for being able to celebrate our Carson Grace turning 21. We know God has incredible plans for her life, and we can’t wait to see how He uses her.

~ for a wonderful full week of VBS. The big kids served with old and new friends, and the younger kids attended with old and new friends. We sang and played and worshipped and ate together, and it was an absolutely exhausting week packed with fun. So grateful for our wonderful church.

~ for lots of sweat equity out on the farm. Mowing, chain sawing, junk hauling, and briar clearing.

We work hard and get dirty and sweaty side by side with our kids, and it’s awesome to slowly see our vision come to life.

I’ve gotten wrapped up in some poison ivy, on both arms and my EYELID, so that meant a call in to the doctor for some high dose steroids, and I’m NOT GREAT at not scratching! Just part of the process, I guess. This weekend we added some essentials to make it feel really like home: popsicles, a stereo, and a coffee pot of course!

~ for a fun night at American Cancer Society’s Little Wranglers event. Everyone’s favorite was the petting zoo!

~ and for an incredible day back at Globe Life Field representing Gold Network ETX as guests of Derek Holland’s 60 Feet 6 Foundation at the Celebrity Softball Classic. We may not have known many of the “celebrities,” but the event was top notch.

We were greeted as VIPs, escorted onto the field through the players entrance, and Sawyer received a custom Sawyer the Warrior official team jersey.

The whole family enjoyed touring the dugouts and the field, running the bases, and meeting various athletes, actors, artists, and military veterans. We enjoyed an endless buffet in a private suite and met other pediatric cancer families. It was a truly unforgettable day.

~ for the sight of happy, dirty kids living their best lives.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts. They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty— and I will meditate on your wonderful works. They tell of the power of your awesome works— and I will proclaim your great deeds. They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness. My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever.” (Psalms 145:3-7, 21)