~ for morning Bible time with my kids. I love their open hearts, and how they honestly pray for the people they care about. They never stop asking.
~ for two days in a row of short-but-sweet visits with Aunt Gina. This pic is of her being entertained by a Tatum K Original Song.
~ for YouTube videos. I’m grateful that so often I can look up the answers to my random questions. This week learned how to repair my crumbled blush compact with rubbing alcohol. Isn’t that handy?
~ for the opportunity to mail out Christmas in July gifts from Gold Network of East Texas to our on-treatment families. We have more families than ever before, having added 11 newly diagnosed kids this past year. It is heartbreaking every time we hear of another diagnosis. But I am more THANKFUL THAN EVER before that THE NETWORK IS WORKING! People know who to reach out to when they hear the news. And nurses and cancer families are reaching out to get these families connected immediately! It’s the worst club that no one would ever want to be a part of, but I am so incredibly grateful that we can ensure that no one will walk it alone. This week Sawyer helped me put Christmas stickers on our cards and get them ready to go out to the families, and together we prayed over each one. It fills my heart to see him have the opportunity to serve his “friends.”
~ for a fun painting birthday party for the girls to attend with friends. They had so much fun. I love that they jump at any chance to create and be creative. And they are all so talented!
~ for our latest, super-challenging puzzle, a bald eagle from the National Eagle Center in MN, gifted by Great Grandma. It was so hard, I did 93% of it by myself. The challenge eclipsed my time, taunting me to be completed. I spend WAY too much time on it this week, but FINALLY I was victorious.
But the victory was hollow, as somehow we are MISSING ONE PIECE. What a kick in the gut.
How you taunt me, o elusive missing piece
~ for a productive week of accomplishing our first round of back-to-school preparations. I’ve been sifting through the mountains of new and old school emails, tracking down summer math and reading assignments for each of the kids, and checking off each box that they complete. We made another trip to the library for the books we still needed, and we are almost done with everything! Only 17 more days of summer! Where did it gooooo?????
~ and for one more box checked, this one a fun one! New shoes all around! Does anything inspire more joy than spanking new school shoes? We had multiple fashion shows to celebrate the occasion. And man these kids are getting some BIG OLE FEET!!
~ for my new shirt, which I hope to make my new motto.
~ that I know God hears. Even in those times when I can’t even make my mouth form the words. He hears the cry of my heart. Because He’s my dad.
I woke up this morning knowing that it was August 1 and that July was finally over. That sounds so dumb and dramatic, but it’s just been such a battle. all. stinking. month. And I know it really doesn’t have a thing to do with the calendar. But I’ve just been in such a stuck funk that I haven’t been able to shake. Anxiety is such a trendy buzzword these days, and it feels like such a copout to throw it out there as an excuse. But it’s a real thing, and it doesn’t play fair. But God.
I still believe. And I still know.
And even though it has nothing to do with the calendar, I’m going to remember August 1, 2021. I’m going to remember why Sunday Gratitude didn’t get finished until the wee hours on Monday.
Because God cracked open my stifling, fog-filled vault and showed me a glimmer of hope. A literal breakthrough.
“Since when has ‘impossible’ ever stopped You? This is the sound of dry bones rattling… This is the praise makes a dead man walk again…”
Whatever it is that you’re asking Him for. Keep waiting. Keep trusting. He’s coming.
Thanks for giving thanks with me.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng. Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalms 42:1-5)
“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace…. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.” (Romans 8:6, 11)
~ for the joyful celebration of beautiful Coby Tate Cochran. We love our Miss Lindsey and Mr. Chris with all our hearts, and Coby is the most beautiful answered prayer, so celebrating him and them is easy!
Coby is obsessed with cows, so his “Cow Jumped Over the Moon” theme was adorable. We went to an awesome park in Lindale, and the kids had a great time playing and splashing and celebrating Coby turning 2.
~ for our first juicy and delicious red ripe tomatoes fresh from our garden.
~ for the best laughs. Sawyer has taken to wearing a mustache these days. Years ago when he was little, he had “Friend the Mustache.”
2018The Original “Friend the Mustache” 2018
He proudly donned his new one this week and said, “‘Friend the Mustache’ is back!” He wears it almost every day. He came down and sat beside me and I looked at him and started giggling. “What?” he asked innocently. I just shook my head laughing and reminded him, “Your mustache.” To which he replied without hesitation, “What??? Is it upside down?”
~ for Cooper’s favorite French toast, slightly crunchy with cinnamon sugar and a hint of orange zest, dusted with powdered sugar, dripping with melted butter and warm maple syrup.
~ for Giddyup&Whoa signs to paint. I’ve had the wonderful privilege of painting for my dear friends’ new vet clinic (Faith Veterinary Clinc in Troup if you are looking for a vet), several weddings, and a special anniversary. I love creating something beautiful and meaningful for people I love.
~ for the sweetest concert. Our kids and their friends have been talking for WEEKS about a fundraiser concert they were planning for the neighborhood. For weeks I’ve heard them singing their hearts out at the top of their lungs. For weeks they’ve been borrowing the Alexa to play music and have “Sunshine Sisters” band practice. For weeks I’ve been hearing plans. Last week they had a stack of lumber in the driveway and half of Josh’s tools out. “What in the world is going on here?” we demanded. “We’re building a STAGE!” Thankfully we put an end that, or surely we would have had to get a permit from the HOA. Thursday I was in informed, “The concert is TONIGHT!” I began getting texts from other moms and neighbors, “Is this thing really happening?” And as I watched my children hustling and bustling through the house, setting up tables and gathering chairs and blankets… I soon realized, their plans were VERY real, and “this thing” was REALLY HAPPENING INDEED. When I walked out my front door, there were chairs in rows and a refreshment table. The kids had made signs and knocked on doors, and pretty much the whole neighborhood came out!
The kids sang and danced and told jokes and drew names for prizes. It was absolutely adorable. They even got their audience to participate!They collected $59 in donations for a local foster care support organization. I was blown away by their dedication, creativity, and courage. They had a goal, worked hard, and didn’t back down. And the support shown by our neighborhood was heartwarming.
~ for the bittersweet blessing of dropping two of my babies off at camp. Cooper and Samantha are THRILLED to go to Pine Cove this summer: Cooper’s 4th time(?) and Sam’s first. We have spent the whole week prepping and packing, and this afternoon I loaded up all their gear and made the short drive to the lushly wooded Pine Cove property on Lake Palestine. I know they will have a blast, but we sure will miss them!
~ and it will prove to be a fun week for Sawyer, Zoe, and Gavin, as they attend 4 nights of IGNITE, a VBS-type event at their school campus. Tonight was SuperHero Night. Kora and Tatum K (too old and to young for IGNITE) helped me bake some yummy muffins at home, and I will enjoy some girl time with them with the others are gone.
It was a mish-mosh week of highs and lows and everything in between. Just real life messes. Hoverboards left out in the driveway and half-dog-eaten crayons under the table. Clogged toilets and a pocketful of Kleenex-turned-confetti in the washer. The kind of week that caused me to know there are 52 days of summer left until the first day of school. Sometimes parenting looks like this…
Simple joy
And sometimes it looks like this.
When someone can’t resist sticking their fingers in the THIRD coat of a drywall project
I know that a huge part of parenting (or life in general) is the humbling, the stretching, the reaffirming that we don’t have all the answers. Our shortcomings highlight what a perfect Father we have. In our weakness He is strong. He never gives up, never wears out, never turns His back. I can’t tell you how many times I had to put myself in a time-out this week. I’ve emptied myself, come to my end. I’ve cried myself to sleep and said not-very-Christlike words in my closet. If you had a week that you had to sit and think a moment to come up with what you are thankful for… you are in good company.
But it’s still worth it.
It’s still worth giving thanks for sticky jelly kisses and a warm bed and silly mustaches and an occasional 5 quiet minutes alone with a great cup of coffee. And a reminder to give thanks that none of my babies are in the hospital. To take nothing for granted. The more of me that gets emptied out, the more room there is for Jesus.
Dear Lord, we DO have so much to be thankful for.
Thanks for giving thanks with me.
“Make me know Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.” (Psalms 25:4-5)
“Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you. Observe the commands of the Lord your God, walking in obedience to him and revering him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills; When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.” (Deuteronomy 8:5-7, 10)
“On the mountains, I will bow my life to the one who set me there In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there When I’m standing on the mountain I didn’t get there on my own When I’m walking through the valley I know I am not alone You’re God of the hills and valleys And I am not alone” (“Hills and Valleys,” Tauren Wells)
~ for the brave men and women who gave their lives serving this country so that we can enjoy so many freedoms today. May we never forget that our freedom isn’t free.
photo by Marvin D. Lynchard
~ for a fun day spent swimming with cousins and stuffing our faces with watermelon and amazing brisket and homemade ice cream. So much fun we didn’t take a single picture!
~ for the kids’ excitement over going to the library. My bunch as a rule are not avid readers, but they love to GO ANYWHERE, and the novelty of so many choices is always fun.
~ for a hard day’s work with my Love. But man, we are not as young as we used to be, and our bodies are literally falling apart.
~ for the gift of hot pizza after a long day.
~ for cool rain on my face and the sound of thunder.
~ for somebody who knows I love Buccees salted caramels.
~ for my littles who aren’t so little anymore, but still snuggle with me. I’m blessed with very affectionate children, and I absolutely adore it.
~ for the most beautiful little nephew who made his entrance this week! Meet Russell!!
~ for the genuine and kind young man Cooper has grown into. Seriously, that kid blows my mind.
~ for a Sunday nap with my dogs.
~ for a freshly painted fence.
Our fence needed a facelift
~ for morning Bible time with the kids. I love starting our day together in the Word. And I got each of them their own journal to write down their thoughts and prayer requests, so they can look back later and reflect on all that God has done from their own point of view.
~ for progress on a really awesome, but REALLY HARD puzzle.
I laughed that this week I spent my “free time” doing the puzzle and painting the fence: 2 measurable tasks that (UNLIKE PARENTING) have a clear ending point, can be successfully COMPLETED, and involve inanimate objects that cannot talk back to me. I needed to spend time with a puzzle and a fence.
It should have come as no surprise after making a bold proclamation ( in last week’s blog) that I would focus on my blessings instead of my lack, and that nothing is too hard for God, that I would be met with fiery darts and a gut check for my faith.
Life. Is. Hard.
And messy.
And loving Jesus does not give me a pass from all the hurt.
But it does give me HOPE. And I’m so thankful that NO MATTER HOW I FEEL, HE IS ALWAYS GOOD AND HE IS ALWAYS WORTHY OF PRAISE.
HIS FAITHFULNESS IS NOT CONTINGENT ON MY FAITH.
Storms come. Hurts. Wounds. Failures. Disappointments. Loss. Life isn’t always easy or kind.
BUT GOD.
He is still good.
I’m weak and empty. HE is GOD.
I’m flawed and selfish. He is HOLY.
My VERY BEST attempts at love are so limited. HE IS LOVE.
I’m out of answers. HE is THE ANSWER.
So today I am spending my energies on thanking Him for all He has done, and all He is doing, and all He is going to do.
Whatever storm or valley you are in the midst of, He is there with you.
Thanks for giving thanks with me.
“I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-19)
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
(Romans 8:38-39)
“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” (Psalms 139:7-12)
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
~ for this handsome too-grown-up boy and his new haircut.
I hinted at it last week, but it was too new for me to fully process. I know it sounds ridiculous to be so dramatic about a simple haircut…but my cancer mama friends understand. When you’ve had a child that loses their hair during cancer treatment, hair becomes A REALLY BIG DEAL. Sawyer’s fine, straight baby hair grew back super curly and perfectly matched his vibrant personality.
Those soft curls nestled into the crook of my neck every night for years. I stroked those little curls while I waited for him to wake up after every spinal tap and bone marrow biopsy. Those curls would get sweaty when he got fevers, and I would know it was time to pack up and head to the Dallas ER.
I just loved his thick head of hair and everything it represented. It was like another badge of honor he had earned. But he was ready for a new “do” and I knew I had to let go. It was hard to watch. And Josh admitted it was very hard for him to do the haircut. But we are both so proud of him. Isn’t he just the stinkin’ cutest?
His first glimpse of himself…
~ for a fun day trip to Longview to pick up our final load of Toy Drive toys and to visit Aunt Dinah. Although our visits are never long enough, we managed to squeeze in a pizza party, fun in and out of the rain with her sweet neighbors, treasure hunting in her beautifully wooded backyard, and assisted her in testing whether or not her bathroom’s frosted glass window was frosted ENOUGH. We had a great day.
~ for the MOST AWESOMELY EPIC TOY HAUL! Our Annual Gold Network of East Texas Toy Drive was a fabulous success thanks to the many businesses and individuals who gave so generously. Not only did we collect hundreds of toys at each donation location, we were blessed with more than $1100 to go shopping with! Paula and I had a blast shopping for toys and gift cards with the donated funds.
All together, we collected 2,229 toys, a huge growth from last year. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO GAVE!
We are blown away with your kindness, your support, and your generosity. We took all the seats out of our bus, leaving a spot for Sawyer, and turned it into Toy-Delivery-Mobile.
What a fun job that was! Of course, with current COVID-19 restrictions, we were not allowed to actually physically stock the CCBD Prize Closet like we have in years past, but we were met in front of Children’s Hospital by the Child Life Team. They greeted us with 2 large, industrial rolling bins, and I gleefully advised them, “I think you’re going to need MORE!” We ended up filling 4 bins to overflowing.
The Team was thrilled with the donation, and amazed by the quality of the toys you all collected. And our wonderful social worker, Diane, who has been by our side since Sawyer was diagnosed with leukemia at just 7 months old, was amazed to see him now: tall and handsome, with his new glasses and new haircut. She just couldn’t believe it.
~ thankful for sweet Aunt Gina who chauffeured us for the day, and encouraged me to override Sawyer’s lunch suggestion (Buccees of course). Instead we tried a new-to-us spot, Rodeo Goat, and enjoyed the MOST DELICIOUS burgers and fries.
~ also thankful for these delicious dark chocolate salted caramels. You can see I was not able to restrain myself from opening them even long enough to take a picture (see the empty space at the top of the canister?) Gina Sue gave them to me on Wednesday. And it is POSSIBLE that they MAY HAVE been GONE BY SATURDAY….possibly.
~ for a wildly successful mission yard sale at church last weekend, and a wonderful treasure that was clearly meant for me.
~ for an awesome afternoon at church helping decorate for next week’s upcoming Vacation Bible School. The kids have loved it every summer, and are so excited to be meeting again this summer!
~ for a great first week for Tatum K in her big girl bed! I thought she’d get up 8475 times a night, but amazingly enough, she never has! In fact, it seems that it has not clicked that she is PHYSICALLY ABLE to get out of the bed by herself. Instead, she SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS, “MAMAAAAAAAAA!!!!!” any time she needs anything or in the morning when she wakes up. Also surprisingly, she hasn’t ever fallen out. So we graduated to the next level, from the mattresses on the floor to her actual bed with a frame. So cute.
I had a good wake up call this week. It can be so tempting to look at the hurts in our lives. To wrap up in a blanket of hurt and surround yourself with your disappointments. Isn’t it funny/sad how our eyes instinctively seek out a flaw. We do that with our lives. We look for the holes. The lack. We see what’s missing instead of what’s there. Let-downs, disappointments, broken relationships, people we miss. People who were never there in the first place. But today I sat in my chair and the Lord lavishly poured His love over me. He showed me all the things He has given me. All the people he has braided into my path. He lovingly reminded me of all the ways He has made up for what I lack. People who have loved abundantly when they didn’t have to. BUT GOD.
What would happen if we consistently focused our eyes on our abundance instead of our lack?
What are you praying for that to you looks unanswered? What looks impossible? I am loving the song “Rattle” by Elevation Worship. “Since when has ‘impossible’ ever stopped You?” I know so many people walking through such hard trials, and they are so beaten down and discouraged. But we, the people of God, believers in Christ, HAVE TO BELIEVE that He is WORKING WHEN WE CAN’T SEE! We shouldn’t be living like the ones who have no hope! Do we really believe it? Do we really believe Him? And do we LIVE LIKE WE BELIEVE HIM? The beat from that song pounded upon my chest, and I could physically feel its resonating in my heart. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD. He hears every prayer. He is working, for His glory and for our good. He is working in the dark, working beneath the surface. So much of what He is doing we cannot see. So we foolishly think nothing’s happening. We are so arrogant and impatient with God, second-guessing His ways and His actions (or the appearance of inaction.) I promise you I am preaching to MYSELF here. I have situations that I have worried myself half to death over, and I have begged God over and over to move. But I have to remind myself that He cares more than I care, and He knows more than I know. And His timing is ALWAYS perfect. And the stretching and refining that only comes through waiting is JUST AS important (if not more so) than the answer itself.
What is your “impossible?”
Think again. He’s not done yet...
Thanks for giving thanks with me.
“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.””(Matthew 19:26)
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.” (Psalms 28:7)
“The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him. The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is his name.”(Exodus 15:2-3)
“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.” (Psalms 31:24)
“My God is able to save and deliver and heal and restore anything that He wants to / Just ask the man who was thrown on the bones of Elisha if there’s anything that He can’t do / Just ask the stone that was rolled at the tomb in the garden what happens when God says to move…”
This is the video for the song, “Rattle.” May it bless you and encourage you as it has me. https://youtu.be/xrAdbH28gIg
What a week. I’m sorry for the vague/abrupt post last week with no follow up, but I’ve just genuinely been too overwhelmed/exhausted to post until now. Cooper is doing so much better, glory to the Lord. We are not exactly sure what his long-term recovery will look like, but we are hopeful and filled with great anticipation for all the Lord will do. And overwhelmed with gratitude at the many miracles He has done already. So let me explain how we got here. Settle in, because it’s a long story.
Saturday, our plan was to drive to Carthage to spend the day with family celebrating Mother’s Day. Cooper woke up with a headache, but we didn’t think it was any big deal. We made the drive and sat outside visiting. All was normal.
When we first arrived in Carthage on 5/8/2021
And at some point, Cooper started feeling worse and went and laid down in the guest room. A little bit later, he threw up. Our thought was, “Oh great. We have brought the stomach bug to the whole family. Aren’t we lovely.” In the interest of not spreading any more germs, we set Cooper up in his isolation station: a comfy patch of grass under a shade tree in the front yard. He already said he felt a little better after having thrown up, and said he wondered if it was food poisoning instead of a bug. He had gone out to eat with friends the night before. I periodically checked on him, making sure he had water, making sure he wasn’t getting sicker. And he said he felt back to 90%. But at some point, everything went South. The next time I went out to check on him, he looked up at me and said, “Where are we? None of this looks familiar.” Cooper has a reputation in our family as the funny guy. He’s been a funny guy at home. The funny guy at work. The funny guy at school. He’s got a great sense of humor, but like most young boys, doesn’t always have the discernment on the proper time and place to be funny. So I automatically assumed he was messing with me. I scolded him for concocting a crazy and not-even-slightly-believe-able story. But Cooper wasn’t playing. He didn’t recognize Gina‘s yard, and assured me that he had no memory of how we got to Carthage. As I pressed for more answers, he didn’t remember going out with friends the night before… For that matter, he didn’t seem to have any memory of the last month. Long term memory was intact. He knew everyone in our family, named all his siblings, knew where he worked and all about his music. But everything in the last month was gone. Not only that, he was asking the same questions over and over, “What day is it?” “Where am I?” “Do I keep falling asleep?” “Have I asked this question before?” By the time we could give the answers, he had already forgotten the questions, and would restart the process all over again. His memory seemed to be re-setting every three minutes or so. I can’t explain how baffling and terrifying it was. Could this be caused by extreme dehydration? Had he had a stroke? What if the memory loss was permanent? Did he have a brain tumor? As you can probably surmise, what we have been through with Sawyer had a great impact on how we processed this sudden crisis. We immediately went straight to the worst case scenarios in our mind. We no longer have the luxury of thinking, “cancer could never happen to us.” Instead, our hearts pounded as our minds raced with thoughts that screamed what we couldn’t allow ourselves to speak out loud, “Is this really happening to us AGAIN?”
Josh and Colton raced Cooper back to the Tyler ER. This is Miracle Number 1. I had wanted Colton to ride with us to Carthage. He had errands to run, and decided to drive himself separately. This was a huge blessing in the long run, because Josh and Colton were able to rush Cooper to Tyler immediately without having to wait and gather everyone else up. The rest of the family knew little of what was going on. All they knew was that Cooper wasn’t feeling great and was staying away so as not to get anyone else sick. They had no idea things had taken a turn and that something serious was going on. No one else had witnessed his frightening behavior. And what could I tell them? I had no explanation. As I had done countless times again and again since Sawyer’s diagnosis, I entered into an eerie stillness and quiet peace from the Lord. There was no freaking out. No tears. No panic. I was instantly a quiet soldier taking care of whatever had to be done so I could get to my son. The kids finished eating their dinner, cleaned up the pool toys, loaded the bus, and I got on the road to drive what felt like 10 million miles to get to my boy. And you better believe I turned my music on. The entire way to Tyler, I had one hand on the wheel and one hand raised to heaven. I praised God for who He was and who He is and for whatever He was going to do through this trial. Trust me, that was NOT ME. I am not that full of faith. I was not OK. But God was in control and He held my shattering heart in His hand. Battle mode. It’s indescribable unless you have been there and experienced it. I got the kids settled at home with Carson Grace, and Colton‘s girlfriend Brooke came to the house and drove me. Another blessing. I didn’t have to walk into that hospital alone. By the time I arrived, Cooper had already had a chest X-ray, urinalysis tox screen, lots of bloodwork drawn, EKG, and a head CT. He still was asking the same questions over and over, and repeating the same few things he could remember: “I work at Chick FilA, I make music, I have a studio at my house.” The exact same short conversation more than 200 times. Thankfully, at this point all tests have come back normal. The doctors were mystified. Cooper was admitted to the hospital and transported to a room around 1 AM. Josh went home to be with the children, and I stayed with Cooper. It was surreal settling into another vinyl recliner next to another hospital bed and IV pump with another of my children.BUT GOD.
Sunday morning brought a visit from the on-call pediatrician who, equally mystified, scheduled an EEG, MRI and spinal tap. We had already ruled out several things: tox screen confirmed there were no substances or drugs in his body, EKG had ruled out anything triggered by the heart arrhythmia we already knew he had, x-rays showed no blood clots in his lungs, CT showed no large masses or tumors. An EEG would look for disruptions in brainwave activity, MRI was looking for strokes, smaller tumors, or bleeds, and spinal tap would show anything abnormal in his spinal fluid. By this time Cooper had been pumped full of fluids and his personality was returning.
Thankful to have a sense of humor returning.
He had finally stopped asking the same repeated loop of questions. But his brain was still very foggy and many holes remained in his memory. After five horrific failed attempts at an unsedated spinal tap, I said “ENOUGH,” and Cooper was finally taken to a procedure room where he received general anesthesia and a successful spinal tap. Mama Bear was NOT PLEASED. Watching my son moan and cry out in pain while grinding his face into a pillow and gripping my hands so tightly I thought they might break was unbearable. BUT GOD.
Next came 2 MRIs which came back normal. Even though the spinal taps were excruciating and infuriating, we are truly thankful, because the spinal fluid was what finally yielded an answer.
The doctor thought it was strange that I took a picture. But as soon as Cooper woke up after the final procedure, he asked me, “what did the fluid look like?” I know my boy.
Abnormal lymphocytes found in the fluid. Of course the word “lymphocytes” sent another shock wave of panic through Josh and I, but the doctor quickly assured us that that did not mean cancer. It meant an infection. A virus from who-knows-where that was able to cross the barrier from the blood into the spinal column and cause brain inflammation, which then resulted in Cooper’s altered mental status and short term memory loss. Viral meningoencephalitis. And the treatment? There is none. The virus simply had to run its course. Thankfully, the fluids had done a good job of flushing it out of his system. And of course most importantly, Mighty God had His hand on Cooper. We still spent one more night in the hospital for observation and awaiting an official confirmation of the diagnosis from the neurologist Monday morning. She did confirm it, and that coupled with Cooper’s remarkable improvement bought him a ticket home Monday afternoon.
We couldn’t believe it. So much happened in such a short time. Such a sudden and terrifying onset of symptoms, and yet less than two full days later he seemed like himself. He was very weak, still somewhat foggy and a little confused, and as you can imagine, 6 spinal taps make for one heck of a backache. Looking back now a week later, we realize we overestimated how well he was doing.
He felt terrible all day Tuesday and landed back in the ER that night with an excruciating spinal headache. But a repeat CT showed that everything looked fine, and we were reassured that spinal headaches are common after one spinal tap, let alone six. Since then, Dr. Mom has strictly enforced rest and scheduled pain meds to stay ahead of the pain. I have given him three words each day to remember and recall to me throughout the day (sunflower/elephant/83), to monitor his ability to retain short-term memories. So far so good. He has slowly improved every day. Friday was supposed to be his last day of school, and he really wanted one last chance to see his friends before summer. He assured me he was up for it. With a pounding heart, I left him at the school that morning. After about two hours, he called me to come get him. But I was so proud that he tried, pleasantly surprised that he lasted that long, and pleased that he wasn’t too proud to call me when he’d had enough.
If you’ve hung in there long enough to get to the end of all this, let me close with a precious story that blessed me beyond measure. Cooper had told me weeks ago that he had ordered me a gift for Mother’s Day, but that he was sorry it would not make it on time, “but trust me, you’re gonna LOVE IT.” When we pulled into the driveway Monday afternoon from the hospital, he went straight to the mailbox and cheered, holding up an envelope. (He remembered!) That evening, after all the children gave me their handmade Mother’s Day cards, he presented me with that envelope. Inside was a decal he had custom designed for my gold coffee mug. “but God”
Thankfulness and joy to the Lord washed over my aching heart as I stared at the sticker. God knew. God knew the terrifying dark valley we would walk through with Cooper. And He never left us. He never left Cooper. He never left my shattered PTSD cancer-fearing heart as I sat in a hospital with my child. What a good, good Father. Hallelujah.
Thank you so much to all who called, texted, visited, brought meals, helped with kids, and lifted us in prayer. You have truly been the hands and feet of Jesus. We are all still a bit shell-shocked and exhausted from all that has happened in just a few short days, but we are amazed how, in the midst of the crisis, Josh and I experienced tender moments of bonding and closeness and even unexpected joy and laughter with Cooper and with Colton, who rose up, devotedly never leaving his brother’s side.
We rejoice in Cooper’s recovery, and we give God all the glory for carrying us through.
“And He said, “My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest.”” (Exodus 33:14)
“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!” (Psalms 27:13-14)
““The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him. The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is his name.”(Exodus 15:2-3)
~ for a beautiful, thriving garden! Looks like the new soil and new plants are actually going to make it! Sawyer planted sunflowers this week, and eagerly checks daily for signs of sprouting.
~ for a wonderful presentation from Gavin and his 4th grade classmates at their Spring Concert. Gavin was so proud to be chosen to sing a solo, and he performed it beautifully. Their worship was pure and innocent and SO POWERFUL, and I know it was so pleasing to the Lord.
~ for my dear friend having a wonderfully successful mission yard sale to raise money for their ministry to Uganda (check out Rock of Living Waters. The Lord is doing great things!) Despite their one day sale being a dreary, rainy day, they raised almost $5000! And after their sale, they had so much left over, they donated it to TCF for our mission yard sale happening later this month! My DARLING HUSBAND wanted to kill me for volunteering him to pick it all up…it filled EVERY INCH of an Aaron’s box truck, which we had to load and THEN UNLOAD at the church. (“The Giddyup” & “The Whoa” switched roles for a couple brief hours that day, but we got through it, and order has once again been restored.)
~ and Tatum K was in her glory at that yard sale. I told her she could choose a treasure, and Little Miss stomped from one end of the tent to the other in her rain boots, with a trash bag in her hand. She found her 2 princess puzzles, a princess bubble kit, a Hello Kitty doll, a new dress 3 sizes too big, and the most beautiful princess dress up high heels that she had ever seen.
Considering that day I had already dragged her, in the pouring rain, to Home Depot, Home Goods, Sam’s Club, ALDI, At Home, Walmart, and Lowe’s…she deserved some treasure! It was a big day for Bitsy Girl.
~ for the opportunity to celebrate our firstborn‘s birthday. Colton, the beautiful black haired, once-chocolate-now-green-eyed baby, the one who made me a mama, turned 22 today. We have gone through hell with him, and with great joy have come out the other side. We are so proud of the man he is becoming, and grateful for the relationship that has been rebuilt over the last few years. Celebrating him is a true celebration. A food-lover after my own heart, his menu never disappoints: crescent chicken (a savory chicken and cream cheese mixture baked in a crescent roll pocket), sweet potato fries with homemade ranch, and a tower fluffy cream puffs. Tatum K approved of his “ba-zert.”
~ for my husband’s Giddyup spirit. He decided the front of our house needed a little bench in a spot that had been an awkward little flowerbed. So of course, he drove straight to Home Depot and bought the cedar he needed, and came home and built a bench – all after a an 11-hour day at work. He finished it up and had it in place a little before 11pm. That man always blows my mind. We don’t call him Mr. Giddyup for nothing!
Kid tested and approved!
~ for good progress on my makeover projects. I’ve been busy with other things, and the weather has been uncooperative, so nothing is done, but I’m excited about the pieces I’ve been working on.
~ for an outstanding response to the Gold Network of ETX Toy Drive! These pictures are just SOME of the donations you have given! This is the first year we have had multiple business drop off locations, and the first year other pediatric cancer families have really gotten involved, and it made ALL THE DIFFERENCE! I can’t wait to finish gathering all the toys from the drop off locations, go shopping with the remaining donated funds, and count how many toys have been collected! What an amazing blessing for the Children’s Hospital Oncology Clinic!!
It’s been a hard week. I often describe my parenting style as professional Whack-a-Mole.
There’s always a fire to put out. Always a crisis. I mean, statistically the kids CAN’T all be doing great at the same time. But mercifully, we have never had everybody doing terrible all at once either. Thank God for that. But there’s also the part of me that says, “you’re not even walking through cancer anymore. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE OVERWHELMED. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH TERRIBLE TRIALS! SUCK IT UP!” Anybody else talk to themselves like that?
I’ve definitely felt discouraged this week. If you’ve ever seen the goofy picture of someone feverishly trying to sweep the shore while the ocean waves pound, crashing again and again…that’s what it feels like.
I feel like I’m constantly fighting a losing battle. Something will come out of nowhere, and I just throw my hands up and wonder, “what am I even doing?” I mentioned that to Josh this afternoon, shaking my head. He hugged me tight and held me close, and he said quietly and tenderly in my ear, “turn your music on.” He had mentioned that last week in Small Group, and it had surprised me that he had noticed that particular detail. He had said to the group, “I can always tell when I come home and the worship music is blaring… I know it’s been a rough day.” But it really is true: there is power in praise. There is power in worship. There is power in speaking the name of Jesus. So this afternoon I turned on the speaker and was instantly meant by the words, “By Your spirit I will rise from the ashes of defeat…The resurrected King, is resurrecting me…In Your name I come alive to declare Your victory…The resurrected King, is resurrecting me…” Thank You Jesus for the comforting power of the Holy Spirit, and for Your Presence. You have promised that You would never leave us nor forsake us. Help us to abide with You, and keep You as our first resource instead of our last resort. I know the trials You allow are refining gifts, sanding me and shaping me, keeping me humbled on my knees where I belong. And thank You for new mercies every morning, for each one of us!
Wherever you find yourself this week, I hope you will look for the good. Even in the darkest days of my life, God was with me. Don’t lose heart. And when you think it’s all about to fall apart, turn your music on.
Thanks for giving thanks with me.
“Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:12-13)
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.” (Psalms 28:7)
“Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!” (Psalms 32:11)
~ for a full week: as you can imagine, Rucker weeks are usually full (just by our sheer numbers), but this week was even full-ER than our standard full.
~ for quiet moments with the Lord in the morning. Lighting a candle makes it feel like a special occasion. Love it when Tater wants to snuggle in and “study” with Mama.
~ for April Fool’s Day aka “April Tuesday” aka “Jolly Joke Day.” Sawyer is captivated with jokes/pranks/magic tricks/funny videos, so this holiday is his sweet spot. His love of gags challenges me to find creative ways to have fun with the kids, and this year I was inspired! Bugs in their cereal, jello instead of orange juice, veggie straws hidden inside their sandwiches at lunch,
Sawyer (Mr. Jolly Joke Day) went to school with a forehead injury – a mixture of BBQ sauce and marinara Tatum K was NOT AMUSED But she forgave me
and beautifully iced “cake pops” (only they were actually brussels sprouts).
We laughed all day. The perfect end of the day was a game of Bean-boozled. Don’t be FOOLED: I’m SO NOT a fun mom by nature. I’m the do-your-chores, why’d-you-leave-your-socks-on-the-table, wipe-that-look-off-your-face mom. I’m not as patient as I should be, and certainly not NEARLY as patient as people like to assume I am. I get easily overwhelmed by the relentless needs of so many, by the firing of questions that never take a break, and more days than not, I usually feel like I’ve missed the mark. BUT GOD. It was fun to be the fun mom for a change.
~ for a wonderful turnout from the community at our church Easter egg hunt. Lots of new faces and old friends.
~ for hula hoops. Not just for hula anymore!
~ and for a lovely day today celebrating the greatest gift of all, the resurrection of our Savior, who conquered death and set before us eternal life. Carrying on my love of traditions, we made our favorite Resurrection Rolls for breakfast, reading the Scriptures together and telling the story of Jesus’ burial and the empty tomb. They are SO DELICIOUS! I’ll link the recipe here.
The empty tomb!
The kids loved opening their Easter baskets, and it was a blessing to all be together for church.
Then a festive afternoon with 22 cousins + the best smoked brisket of all time + more candy than anyone should ever have. And yes, we still do the matching outfit thing. They don’t fight me on it. They know they will lose. I get my picture, and then they are free to get comfortable and go chill. But they absolutely know: The picture. Is. Happening.
I’m exhausted and thankful. I’m so thankful for my family, and for the incredible people God has braided into all our lives. When I think about what Jesus did for us, and what He has done for me personally, I can’t wrap my mind around it.
It’s ok that I’m not perfect, that I’m not always patient, and that I still don’t have it all together.
Jesus loved me before I was ever born.
He knew my name, and He knew the path He had prepared for me.
He knew all my flaws and failures, and the gaping holes in my faith.
“When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” (John 19:30)
“He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.” (Matthew 28:6)
“He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).” (John 20:15-16)
~ that hair grows back. We love our fluffy dogs, but we didn’t do a good job of keeping them brushed. We shaved Birdie after she had her pups, and it was time to get Bear refreshed as well. He is UNRECOGNIZABLE.
Fluffy dogsBirdie’s trim back in December Bear on the way to the groomer…Whose dog is this???
~ for brilliant, caring doctors and answered prayers.
~ for my new favorite Everything Bagel Seasoning, for the ALL TIME BEST avocado toast.
~ for a fun and festive St. Patrick’s Day. The kids, for whatever reason, have been SUPER keyed in to the holiday, so I had fun with it. Lucky Charms cereal for breakfast with green milk, green shamrock sugar cookies tucked in their lunch boxes, and a super fun care package from Grandmommy with shamrock stickers, candy bracelets, and gold coin chocolates! I’m so thankful for the opportunity to celebrate simple little moments of joy that I know the kids will remember.
~ for fun neighbors who heat their pool and share it.
~ for new fences. Because sometimes when somebody gets a new fence, I come across one of the most beautiful sights I can see. I discovered a glorious pile of old weathered fence this week, and when I pulled over and asked for it, the fencing company DELIVERED IT TO MY HOME! What a SCORE!
Not only that, Gavin ASKED if he could dismantle the panels – an arduous task. He spent at least 9 hours prying the aged boards off their posts over the weekend. At one point, Josh and all 4 boys were working together to knock it out. We are thrilled to be STOCKED with beautiful reclaimed wood for Giddyup & Whoa projects!
~ for Cooper having a fantastic weekend at Overdrive, his church youth retreat. Fun activities with friends and powerful Bible teaching made for an exciting 2 days, and Cooper’s participation in his small group led to him being recruited to sharing his thoughts on camera for the event promo video. So proud of him!
~ for a delicious Sunday family dinner. We cooked and grilled together, and I think Dad’s pork chops were a hit!
Friday, March 19 was Sophie‘s birthday. Sophie is our precious friend whom we met through Gold Network when she was diagnosed with lymphoma at just two years old.
Sawyer the Warrior and Sophie the Brave
Sophie has quite an army. Her family loves fiercely, both Jesus and each other. Sophie’s journey was fraught with complications and setbacks, and she went home to be with Jesus just before her third birthday. I’ll never understand it. But her parents have pressed their broken hearts even deeper into the heart of the Father, and they have purposed themselves to pouring into others out of their pain. They continue to volunteer and raise money for childhood cancer awareness and blessing the patients and nurses at Children’s Hospital.
Sophie’s Army’s donation to Children’s Hospital
They tirelessly advocate in their daughter’s honor. And on Sophie’s birthday, they ask people to love bigger. To spread joy. It’s a day to be reminded of the way we SHOULD be living our lives EVERY DAY. It is one of my kids’ favorite days of the year, because they love doing for others so much. But this year’s “Do More for Sophie Day” was a little quieter for some reason. We kept it pretty simple, and there was nothing to take a picture of. I felt led to buy lunch for a homeless gentleman. I drove thru to pick up a meal, and brought it back, praying all the while that he would still be there. He was still there. With about 5 other food bags surrounding him. Maybe they were all from Sophie! Anyway, at least his lunch was covered that day. I painted a sign for a friend who was on my heart and delivered it to her. Paid for the coffee for the person behind me in line. Little acts of kindness that were no big deal. But each of those people got to learn about Sophie. And aren’t those the little kindnesses that encourage us when we don’t think we can take one more step? Or when we think there is no good left in this world? What an inspiration that a family who has gone through the worst tragedy of their life has chosen not to blame God or curse Him or hide away forever, but instead to spend their energy and time and resources spreading the love of Christ as far and wide as they can in memory of their beautiful little girl.
I was the recipient of simple, incredibly thoughtful kindness as well this week. My husband is a smells guy. He loves smells. He can sniff out a bad smell from a million miles away, and he LOVES good smells: good smelling food, a good smelling house, and he’s very particular about his bath products. We got to talking about the bath smells we like, and I FINALLY revealed to him my favorite scents (after 21 years of him guessing…and often missing). I don’t want to smell like a fruit or a flower. I prefer clean: anything labeled “waterfall,” “rain,” “cotton,” and my very favorite is eucalyptus. Well one day this week, I came home to the biggest, most beautiful basket FILLED with every waterfall, rain, and eucalyptus scented bath product ever made! And a stunning, stately orchid! When I asked Josh what in the world it was for, he said simply, “I just wanted to get you what you like.” I took the best shower of my life and I CAN’T STOP SMELLING MYSELF!
My incredibly thoughtful husband granted another wish for me. A couple years ago we took a rock to our bus windshield. It went from a tiny chip to a small crack, and then slowly but surely crept jaggedly across the windshield from the passenger side all the way to the driver’s side.
It. Drove. Me. CRAZY. The crack split directly through my line of vision, and was a constant source of irritation when I drove (which is currently a huge portion of my life). This week we were able to get the windshield replaced! It didn’t bother Josh at all, but he knew how much it bugged me. When I got in the bus, I couldn’t believe it! I compared it to the difference it makes when you first see a high definition TV screen. Everything just looked completely new and in technicolor! I felt like I had a brand new car!
I’m definitely in a season where I feel like the Lord is waking me up, so forgive me if I seem to find a teaching moment in almost every activity these days. (Not sure exactly WHY I feel the need to apologize about that, I’m actually completely grateful that my heart is growing more tuned to receiving from Him anywhere and everywhere). I just never want to come across as somebody who pretends to have it all together or is super spiritual all the time. If you know me personally, which many of you do, you know better! ANYWAY, I just got to thinking about how something that can start so small: a tiny offense, a tiny lie, a seemingly insignificant moral compromise…can slowly but surely – if left unchecked – grow and creep until it takes over. Obscuring and distorting our vision. Lord, show me. If there are things that are in the way, things that keep me from seeing clearly, help me to recognize them. And help me to be diligent to continually be searching my heart and staying close to Yours so we can catch the small “chips” quickly before they have a chance to spread.
Imagine what a world this could be if we all kept clear vision AND spread kindness to others as a regular part of everyday life.
Thanks for giving thanks with me.
“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”(Matthew 25:35-40)
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
~ for a big, big, BIG week for Sawyer. Tuesday was one of the most highly anticipated and celebrated events in a GCS First Grader’s year: a 30+ year tradition, the performance of Little Bo Peep. All of our kids have been in it, as have cousins, and with multiple performances for each of them, I personally have watched the play no less than 17 times. But the sweet story of Bo Peep asking all the other nursery rhyme characters for help finding her lost sheep, never ceases to touch my heart. And it was truly surreal to see Sawyer on that stage, that he again reached a milestone that we never dated dream of for him. BUT GOD! He was the cutest little mischievous Georgie Porgie, and he teased those poor little girls beautifully. My heart exploded.
He also had so much fun the very next day celebrating the 100th day of school. The 1st graders made projects and enjoyed various activities all day. So much fun in one week!
We found a 💯on the way to school!
~ for a quick catch-up with Aunt Gina, and the delivery of a tasty Grandmommy self portrait!
~ for the cutest little matching sisters. Same same!!
~ for yummy, ooey gooey chicken wings with “BARBIE” SAUCE.
~ for ALL THE HELPERS. I definitely had more fun watching Josh and the kids build this storage unit than the football game tonight.
~ for another productive week of DIY projects. Josh has instructed me that last week was PRE-pre-vacation, and this week and weekend has been pre-vacation. The ACTUAL vacation starts TOMORROW. This week Cooper started getting his studio set up, moving in his equipment and mounting professional soundproofing panels. The panels go up with tiny map pins, and we have used ALL the black map pins in the city of Tyler, so the rest of that project is on hold until more pins arrive via Amazon. Josh laid carpet tiles and baseboards, and installed double doors, also fitted with soundproofing. What a cool space for creating!
The girls’ bathroom was dingy and greatly in need of updating and repair: water damage, broken tile, leaky faucet, and a shower door that fell off at least once a week. We tackled it with full force this week.
Where we started…
Josh had already repaired all the drywall, including closing up the hole from a dated medicine cabinet, and the new tile floors had been installed. After 2 coats of Alabaster on the walls, trim, and ceiling, I was overjoyed that the last bit of the drab yellow that was in so many rooms of this house was FINALLY GONE. The soft, creamy white brightens the space and lifts the ceiling so much!
Oh the transformative power of PAINT!
I got the cabinets painted and helped Josh hang the new mirror and build and install the shower doors.
This mirror was the piece I was most excited about. What a dramatic change!Putting the shower door together Clean and beautiful. And it WON’T FALL OFF!
Next came WALLPAPER! After 20 years and 3 houses with terrible wallpaper, I can’t believe I actually wanted to put it in my house! But I fell in love with the idea of doing an accent wall, and it seemed like a great place to do something fun. I changed my mind no less than 837 times during the planning process, but I’m completely thrilled with where we landed.
My original design ideas
Josh replaced the leaky faucet with a new matte black fixture, and we are so happy to mark all of that off the project list! I have a couple small details and touch up to finish, so this is still not the FINAL reveal, but we are SO SO CLOSE! We are thankful that our girls have a bright and pretty space to get ready for their day each morning. I’m so excited to have Josh home this week, to work together doing what we love to do.
Always my shadow…
~ for the power of prayer and the joy of the Lord. I talked last week about so many people I love who are wrestling through hard things. Unspeakably hard things. I have spent more hours in prayer this week than I have in a long time, just talking to the Lord about what is going on and asking Him to move in mighty ways. AND HE HAS! Every problem hasn’t gone away, and every trial hasn’t disappeared, but I have seen people walk through fire and come out on the other side. I’ve seen miracles. I’ve seen hope where there should have been none. I’ve seen supernatural self control and grace under pressure. I’ve seen grieving coexist with joy. And I have also seen and heard some heaven thundering prayers come out of the mouths of my children, especially my spicy little Tatum K. Let me tell you about Annie.
If you follow my social media, you’ve already heard that Annie is a beautiful 4 month old baby girl. She was born with a congenital heart defect, and underwent open heart surgery January 29. Annie has had complications during and after surgery, survived drastic lifesaving measures and spent 7 days being kept alive by an ECMO machine. AND BY JESUS. Every. Single. Day we watched another miracle unfold through Annie. Today they took her off the ECMO machine, and she will be closely monitored until her doctors decide she is ready for her NEXT surgery, which will be to install a permanent pacemaker. Annie’s story has captured our hearts, though we have never even met her, and she has people praying all over THE WORLD. I set her picture as the lock screen on my phone, so that every time I open it up, I pray for her. And Tatum K has become SO INVESTED in Baby Annie. She has prayed over and over, “Jesus heal Baby Annie and her broken heart and make her feel better and be happy. Annie loves God and I just love her. Your turn to pray, Mama.” After one of her prayers, she asked me to play her favorite song, “Raise a Hallelujah.” I turned it on, and Tatum suddenly cried out excitedly, “MAMA!!!! This song can heal Annie’s broken heart!” PLEASE pray for Baby Annie, and for her parents and big brother. And keep praying for the people around you that you know are struggling. And don’t stop bringing your own burdens and worries to the Lord. We ALL have them, so why do we waste so much energy trying to make it look like we have it all together? Having Annie’s picture on my phone has me praying all day long (yeah, I’m probably on my phone more than I should be), and she’s been my reminder to keep praying for all the others on my prayer list over and over.
Prayer works.
God listens.
And prayer changes us.
That’s half the miracle.
Keep praying.
Thanks for giving thanks with me.
“Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desire of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)
“Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven.” (Psalm 107:28-30)
~ for Snow Much Fun! The “blizzard” on Sunday led to a Snow Day on Monday for most of East Texas, and it was GLORIOUS! The snow lingered most of the day, the sun was shining, and the rare sight of the white blanketed Texas countryside was just beautiful. The kids bundled up from head to toe and made more snowballs and played with neighbors and rolled around in it until they were soaked through. I did as much laundry in those 2 days as I do in a week! (and believe me, that is saying a lot!) But it was the perfect opportunity to come inside and snuggle up by the fire with some hot cocoa. It will be a story we will tell for years to come.
~ for my hardworking husband. He works all day at his “real” job, and then comes home ready to work on projects. We have lots of home improvement plans to do when he takes a week of vacation next month, but MR. GIDDYUP just can’t wait that long. So far he has replaced two ceiling fans, installed a pendant light, replaced two non-functional lights with SUPER-FUNCTIONAL track lighting, built and modified the barstools that I ordered that were the wrong size, and replaced all the lightbulbs that needed to be updated to LED. Sometimes the “giddyup” in him drives me crazy, but I’m so grateful for how hard he works to take care of us.
2017 – realtor.com pictures of our master bedroom when we bought our homeMistakingly ordered BARSTOOL height instead of COUNTER height…Mr. Giddyup was undeterred And now they are perfect!
~ that our supersized bus for our supersized family can also be converted to use as a cargo van. The seating is completely modular and can be removed as needed to utilize the space. While the kiddos were at school, we loaded up on all the materials we will need for our upcoming projects.
Tatum K had a big time at Home Depot. It made me think of all the times I would go to hardware and farm implement stores with my Dad when I was little. I thought it was the most amazing place on the planet. So much to see, and I had no idea what any of it was. But I knew my dad knew, and I knew he would take care of me, so I was as carefree as can be!
~ for the official close of the puppy chapter for now. Our very last puppy, Red Boy, now named Oakley, finally went home to his forever family yesterday. It was very hard to say goodbye, as we have all fallen in love with the little fella.
But it made us feel great to know that two boys got the best surprise of their life yesterday afternoon. Our puppy families have been so kind to share pictures and videos of their babies with us. They are all so loved.
~ for one spicy little girl who FINALLY pooped on the potty for the first time. I don’t want to celebrate a victory of the war just yet, but I will revel in finally winning one battle.
~ for a yummier-than-expected healthy dinner, a loaded homemade cauliflower crust pizza and fresh salad.
~ for a fun, if way-too-short visit with Aunt Gina. Whenever we get the chance, we catch up on each others’ news, have some good laughs, and she always blesses me with friendship bread and Starbucks. So thankful for my sister.
~ for an amazing donation! Josh’s company, Aaron’s Inc, has a corporate donation program, and this year made a MOST GENEROUS donation of $5000 to Gold Network of East Texas. It was an honor for Paula and I to meet for a check presentation at Josh’s store this week.
~ for our first Sunday back to in person church service. Our little fellowship was hit hard with COVID-19 over the last couple months, and nearly everyone in leadership fell ill and was forced to quarantine. What a blessing to be back in the building together joined in worship. I know that the church is not a building, and I know God doesn’t live only there. But there’s nothing like it when we gather together in His name.
~ for Tiny Uno. Seriously, is anything cuter than Tiny Uno?
~ for friends to pray for and for friends who pray. And for the edification that comes when we testify to one another.
~ for good football (Go Chiefs!) and mouthwatering marinated chicken and carne asada fajitas with cilantro lime rice and fresh homemade salsa.
I remember writing about this once a long time ago, but it came to mind again tonight. Marinating. We use a marinade to tenderize meat or to add flavor. The longer something sits in a marinade, the more it absorbs it and the more it changes. It takes on the flavor of the marinade’s ingredients and in some cases the acidity of a marinade actually cooks the meat. We take on the flavor of what we soak ourselves in. The longer we marinate, the more we are changed. What are you marinating in? Are you spending your time soaking in social media? How many hours a day do you find yourself steeping in the barrage of headlines from your favorite news broadcaster or podcast? Or are you immersing yourself in God’s Word? Reveling in worship? Are you surrounding yourself with believers who testify of His faithfulness and spur one another on in good works? If you look at the ingredients of your marinade, are they what you want to taste like? Are they what you want to become? These are the thoughts that have been cycling through my mind as I try to pull away from old bad habits and try to establish new ones. What am I marinating in, and what am I becoming? And how does what I am becoming impact others, especially my husband and my children? Am I becoming better or bitter? I want to soak myself in Jesus, abide in Him, and be transformed to become a little more like Him every day. Imagine what would happen if we turned off the news and turned on our praise music and just worshipped instead of worried. I know it’s not really that simple. Or is it? All I know is it couldn’t hurt. I don’t want bitterness. Or fear. Or comparison. Or selfishness. Or divisions. I want more Jesus. So I need to spend more time with Him. And that’s the bottom line. Let’s encourage one another this week. And marinate in the goodness of God.
Thanks for giving thanks with me.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
“Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.””(Luke 10:38-42)
“Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” (IICorinthians 3:17-18)
Sundaygratitude 