Grace

Grace. Defined as “the unmerited favor of God toward man.” It’s the good we get that we don’t deserve. Oh, how we need grace. It’s something I’m always begging God for more of, and I’m so thankful that it’s something He never runs out of. I’m counting on heaping helpings of that grace to get me through this summer with all these kiddos and all the big changes that are coming this fall.

I am thankful for GRACE.

One of my kiddos had a pretty bad day. Well, pretty much it’s been A BUNCH of bad days piggybacked on top of each other. And I’ve had to discipline a lot. Like a LOT LOT. And it left me feeling discouraged and sour and like the World’s Meanest Mommy. But Saturday morning, I stretched my my arms open, and this child crawled up into my lap.

I whispered, “I love you,”

and they said, “I love you too.”

And I said, “Do you know I love you even when I get onto you?”

“Yes,”

“And do you know WHY I get onto you?”

They replied, “because you love me and so I can learn from my mistakes and do better next time.”

Deep sigh. Big squeeze. Tiny tears from mama’s eyes that I tried to hide in their hair as I held them tighter. Ok, maybe not the ACTUAL meanest mommy in the WHOLE world. Thankful to my loving father who gives me the grace I need to be a mama to so many. And the unique grace He gives me to be the exact mama that each ONE CHILD needs at that moment. God, give me the grace to extend that grace to others, especially my children.

~ for my flyswatter. Anybody else dealing with 834,267,559 flies?

~ for our cardinal family. I’ve been captivated by watching their nest and the comings and goings of the parents. Now there’s a baby bird out of the nest, not yet strong enough to fly. It hides itself all around our yard and the neighbors’, and the Mama and Daddy cardinals tirelessly tend to it and bring it food. So far our benevolent neighbors have not called the cops on me for climbing my ladder and constantly peering over their fence with my telescopic camera lens.

~ for the community of prayer warriors who rise up around a need. If you follow me on social media, you likely saw my urgent prayer request for our beloved nurse Kelly and her infant son, Lucas. He has been battling rhabdoid tumors for several months and just recently has started experiencing a decline of appetite and increased pain. A CT this week indicated a new tumor. And y’all hit your knees. Kelly was thankful to report that the mass was not attached to his brain, and that the insertion of an NG tube should provide a nutritional boost to increase Lucas‘s strength as he continues his brave fight. How I wish there was no cancer for him to fight, but today we have the grace to praise God for every piece of encouraging news! You can follow Lucas’ journey on Caringbridge.

~ It’s been a big week for our oldest daughter. Monday Josh, Carson Grace, and I drove to Marshall, TX for New Student Orientation at East Texas Baptist University (ETBU). It’s such a beautifully manicured campus, and all the staff and other students and families were so friendly. After the first general welcome session, all students and parents headed to meet with the heads of the major they had chosen, for Carson Grace, that was Communications. She hasn’t been sure what exactly she’d want to do in that field, but she has some interests and strengths in those areas, so it seemed like a good place to start. Next was a meeting with the department heads for whatever you want to minor in: Music/Worship Arts. Carson Grace was eager to meet with these professors and discuss the choirs and worship team. The head of the Worship Arts department begin to ask lots of specific, pointed questions: “So why are you here?“ “What are you passionate about?” After just a few of her responses, he said… “I don’t know, but you sound like a music major to me!” That was such an unexpected, abrupt shift that caught all of us unaware. But when he asked her, “Do you like music? Or do you LOVE music? For me…” he said, “I’m interested in a lot of things, but music is what gets me out of bed in the morning. It’s what makes me tick.” And her eyes filled with tears as she said, “ I love it. It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do.”

And that was that. She’s a music major! Thank you God for the grace to take a step out in faith.

~ also this week, Carson Grace had her very first job interview. After about 25 minutes, she walked out with the job!

~ not only that, Carson Grace, our sweet girl, our Princess Peanut, turned 18. I swear, yesterday she was a baby. A bitsy, blue-eyed baby, sucking her thumb behind a pink crocheted blanket. A tiny, sassy toddler shaking her thing to the Wiggles “Pony Song.” We’ve ridden the predictably unpredictable hormone roller coaster, cried happy tears and tears of frustration, and learned the hard way how to communicate. Josh says she’s just like me: sometimes that’s a compliment, and sometimes it’s most assuredly NOT. But as I look at her as a young adult, a young woman, my heart is bursting with so much pride and so much hope for her future that it genuinely feels like pain.

Grace was my grandmother. My dad‘s mom. She was a farmer, a school bus driver, 4-H leader, and a world traveler. She knew how to cook and sew and her house was cozy and neat as a pin.

I pretty much grew up at her house, at her kitchen table, in her garden, and in her basement. I spent all my time with her when I was little bitty, but when I grew older, I spent time with her by choice. I would ride my bicycle 3 miles down the treacherously steep loose gravel road that led from our family farm to her house in the valley. I loved to be at Grandma’s house. I played “olden days,” dressing up in her old furs and hats from the 50s and the reading the old primers she had saved from when my dad was a little boy. I waded and fished in the creeks around her house. We watched deer and birds and squirrels from her windows, and watched the trees explode into color on the bluffs that rose up around her on every side. She was feminine, but not girlie, and I never remember seeing her wear a drop of makeup. She loved me unconditionally and was my biggest fan and supporter through every endeavor. I loved my Grandma. And even though I never expected to have a daughter, when I found out that my second baby was going to be a girl, it was a given that I would name her Grace. Josh and I traveled from Texas back to Minnesota about once a year to visit early in our marriage, and each time it was more heartbreaking to see Grandma’s health decline as Parkinson’s Disease robbed her of her physical strength and independence. She passed away when Carson Grace was 6. But I will always treasure the memories I have of her, and I love sharing them with my kids. I know she would have gotten such a kick out of my crazy oversized Tribe, and they all would have loved her just like I did. And I’m so proud that my first-born daughter bears the name of such a special lady, one who lived up to the definition of the word.

Let’s love lavishly and extend extra measures of grace this week! Everybody else needs it just as much as you do.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:7-9

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

Miracles

I am thankful:

~ for the 102 times a day that Tatum K cracks me up. Whenever she tastes something new, she will be so excited, “I try! I try!” But then she almost inevitably will reply, “No, I can’t like it.” And then sometimes, “I DO like it.” She is a bossy little jabberbox, and keeps us all on our toes. We are TRYING to make the transition into her crib in the room she’s always been planned to occupy (instead of my closet). But the closet is pitch black and pretty much soundproof, so sharing a room is a big change, and has led to great sleep deprivation on Mama’s part.

~ for a fun visit from Aunt Dinah. We chowed down on Mexican food and enjoyed the back patio. The kids and dog showed off their swimming, and we enjoyed our afternoon coffee with her delicious home-baked lemon pound cake.

~for an awesome surprise: Sawyer received a milestone gift from the Sadie Keller Foundation. Sadie Keller is an amazing 11-year-old girl who was diagnosed with leukemia in 2015, shortly after Sawyer. She has completed her treatment and is doing incredibly well. But she rose from the ashes of her fight with a burning desire to help other kids around the world. Sadie has traveled multiple times to visit senators and even the White House to increase awareness and advocacy for childhood cancer. She is a name you are going to know one day. Created by Sadie and her family, the Sadie Keller Foundation gives gifts to childhood cancer warriors when they reach milestones. And Sawyer received a gift for the miraculous accomplishment reaching the ACE (aftercare) unit. Imagine his excitement when he walked out the front door to see his very own police car! He was so excited, jumped right in, and drove right out the driveway! After he got over his initial excitement, he said, “I need to write Sadie a thank you card!” which he promptly did. He’s been patrolling the neighborhood ever since! Thank you Lord for the miracle of Sawyer’s life!

~for God‘s mercy when people do something not very smart. Or something actually very dumb. There may or may not have been an incident with the neighbor kid’s hoverboard. It may or may not have involved a certain mom (who shall remain anonymous) bragging about being good at it. And maybe, someone may or may not have may not have ended up flat on their back on the concrete driveway. Just a hypothetical of course. This would not be a good place to reference “though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” (Psalm 37:24). Perhaps instead “the Lord preserves the simple.“ (Psalm 116:6a)

~for Dad’s night to cook. Josh is a great cook, and everything he makes is delicious. We laughed at this particular menu, because it was a throwback to our early married years. Back then we were making Hamburger Helper with the 70/30 “chub” of ground beef, and we didn’t know we were supposed to drain the meat after browning. We’ve come a long way, baby! #mamahadsaladinstead

~for the fun I’ve been having with my camera. The children have been reading a lot about birds and nature, and their enthusiasm has been contagious. I’ve really been awestruck by the beauty of God‘s creation in my backyard, so I dug out my big lens on my DSLR camera. After a couple of days of photographing raindrops on elephant ears and our family of cardinals…basically I’m pretty much ready to send my work to National Geographic. I’m basically a wildlife photographer now. Josh can’t quit laughing at me. But it’s so fun! We haven’t captured a shot of Sawyer’s hummingbird yet, but it’s been to the feeder several times. We have witnessed courting lizards and newly hatched baby cardinals, and the stunningly intricate macrame of a spider’s web. (NO edits needed.)

~ for a lovely lunch with a sweet friend.

~ for MIRACLES!!!!! Our precious friend Georgia had a followup appointment this week, and the news was not what we were hoping for. But the next day after sharing discouraging news, Georgia’s mom shared an astounding update. I’ll share her words in the picture of her Facebook post below. And you can follow Georgia’s brave journey here. GOD IS AT WORK!!!!

We’ve gained some ground since last week by “turning autopilot off” and adding structure to our days at home. Morning devotional. 2 miles of running/walking/biking/strollering every morning. We’ve pulled out some flashcards and math pages and spelling websites for some “school,” and for now, all the Littles are eager to participate. I’m trying to have the older ones help the younger ones by quizzing and checking answers, and they sit with Sawyer and help him sound out the words in his books. I need to hold on to these days when my children are actually BEGGING me to LET THEM do school! I remember we had a great routine that worked really well for us last summer, but of course I don’t remember what we did! We will keep plugging along and figure out a rhythm.

Unfortunately, it’s been an ugly week of anxiety for me personally. Anxiety doesn’t care that I don’t have anything to be anxious about. Anxiety doesn’t care that I’m focusing on gratitude. It just stretches out it’s icy fingers around my heart and squeezes, out of nowhere, just for kicks. It almost invariably comes in waves, breaking over me again and again with relentless fury. When it hits me, I catch my breath and try to slow my breathing down. I turn on praise music and speak aloud the Name above all names, the Lover of my soul. “JESUS!” Sometimes I’m able to shout, and sometimes it’s all I can do to whisper. But as I write this I am reminded, I have survived 100% of these attacks! It wasn’t always pretty, but I have come out on the other side each time. I just mention this because I know many others wrestle with fear, depression, or anxiety; and I know there’s comfort in knowing you are not alone. Don’t lose heart. And I think it bears mentioning, because often we forget….

You have an enemy.

He is actively pursuing you.

He is good at what he does.

He’s a liar.

And he’s good at lying.

He tells you lies that you would believe.

He doesn’t usually waste time with the obvious, fraudulent lies that you can smell from a mile away. “God hates you.” “Nobody loves you.” But he is an expert at, “She doesn’t want a relationship with you.” “Nobody notices you.” “You don’t matter.” Or the opposite type of lie: “You’re better than them.” “You deserve to have everything you want.”

But let me also remind you of something that I hope you already know.

You also have a SAVIOR.

HE IS GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES.

HE IS ACTIVELY PURSUING YOU.

HE NEVER LIES. ALL HIS WORDS AND HIS WAYS AND HIS LOVES ARE TRUE.

BECAUSE HE’S GOOD AT THAT.

I am no evangelist or Bible scholar. But I know a miracle when I see one. I see one every time I look in the mirror. Because I know who I am and I know who I once was. I was dead and now I’m alive. And if that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is.

Be encouraged friends. Let’s love one another well this week.

Thank you for giving thanks with me.

“I love the LORD, because He has heard My voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live. The pains of death surrounded me, And the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me; I found trouble and sorrow. Then I called upon the name of the LORD: “O LORD, I implore You, deliver my soul!” Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; Yes, our God is merciful. The LORD preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me. Return to your rest, O my soul, For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you. For You have delivered my soul from death, My eyes from tears, And my feet from falling. I will walk before the LORD In the land of the living.” Psalms 116:1-9

Generosity

What. A. Week. I am utterly spent, and my heart is full. Generosity is definitely the word ringing in my heart this week.

I am thankful:

~ for one of the very best GCS elementary Spring Concerts I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen a couple). The 4th and 5th graders (including our Samantha) sang worship songs in several languages, played melodiously on their recorders (insert winky face here), and played instruments as well as used sign language. I was so moved by their clear, young voices lifted in praise, and I was struck by how much I knew they were blessing their Heavenly Father’s heart. I can’t express how grateful I am that our children have had the privilege of growing up in the community of GCS. There’s no such thing as a perfect school: there are highs and lows, strengths and weaknesses. And our kids are far from perfect. But I know that they are getting SOAKED IN JESUS, at home, at school, at church…and I know that I know that I KNOW that the years my babies have spent at GCS, engulfed in the faithful partnership of prayers, instruction, and encouragement, are shaping their tender hearts for their future. And God continues to make a way where there is no way, through His unparalleled and unexplainable generosity. There are no words.

~ for a rip-roaring good time for my little cowgirl! Zoe had a blast at 1st grade Rodeo Day with her classmates: roping steers, scooping cow patties, barrel racing. She chowed down on delicious homemade chili and dirt pudding. Such a fun day.

~ for a special rite of passage this week: Tatum K’s very first Sunday School class. Our beloved Miss Linda has taught every one of our babies at the age of 2, and her gentle hugs and tender instruction have welcomed each of them into her classroom. Absolutely surreal to see little Tatum K with the flag and her stickers and her little crown. My heart.

~ and then for the event we have been eagerly anticipating and planning for for months: the Children’s Cancer Fund Gala and fashion show! It was quite a production to gather all the kiddos from the ends of the earth, and pack the bus with all their gear. (We can’t even make it to CHURCH on time…we had to make it to Dallas by 3 o’clock. The struggle is REAL!) By some miracle, we made it, checked into our complementary room at the palatial Hilton Anatole hotel, and took Sawyer to the check-in area. The cancer kids are the VIPs of the event, and all the real action takes place backstage, where parents are NOT ALLOWED. Instead, they are each assigned to a “buddy,” a staff member from Children’s Hospital. How thrilled was this mama to find out that SaSa was going to be in the capable hands of our beloved Nurse Brittney! It’s always hard for me to let him go, but I trust her COMPLETELY. Sawyer had the time of his life backstage with Brittney: he played games, got new toys, and made crafts. He met some pretty cool celebrities: Chuck E. Cheese, Spider-Man, Batman, and Wonder Woman. Oh, and Troy Aikman, Roger Staubach, and Tony Romo were there too, but they were not nearly as exciting as the superheroes.

Out in the ballroom, Josh and I had the rest of the Tribe, all doodled up in our finest. Incredible silent auction items, including the original paintings created by each fashion show child, filled the lavishly decorated atrium, and beautiful people were everywhere. No detail was left overlooked for this “Evening in the Garden,” from the stunning floral wall backdrop for 3-D pictures; the intricately embossed programs, menus, and auction paddles; to the wisps of smoke hanging on the massive runway, flanked with impressive cascades of flowers suspended from the ceiling overhead. Our children’s eyes could not get any bigger! (Nor could mine!) One of the highlights of the evening for Josh and I was watching our children get their first taste of fine cuisine. The menu was over the top. Our kids are in no way picky eaters, they are very adventurous and great sports. But this was definitely quite a stretch for them… 2 year old Tatum K loves salad, and she dove right into her plate like a big girl with a big fork! She stabbed a juicy red beet and popped it in her mouth. But it immediately came right back out! I think she thought it was a tomato, her favorite. Beets apparently are not as palatable. Zoe wasn’t too sure about the peppery watercress. Tatum DEVOURED the juicy filet mignon once I diced it for her, while the other Littles were very entertaining in their attempts to saw off hunks of steak and then laboriously chew and chew and chew and chew it. Kora’s face wore every variety of disgust as she sampled each course, from the goat cheese in the salad to the roasted brussel sprouts and finally the edible flowers on the panna cotta dessert. Gavin, Big Kids, and Mom and Dad on the other hand, happily chowed down every decadent course with gusto. The Littles managed to get by on dinner rolls and the bits of fruit garnishing the dessert.

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It was awesome to watch each of the models, kids of all ages in various stages on and off treatment, walking with celebrities and superheroes and community helpers down the runway. Some were shy, and some worked the stage with confidence and swag. Sawyer came out with his escorts, members of the Dallas Fire and Rescue team. Click here to check out the video of his runway walk…he owned that stage with long strides and tipped his hat to the crowd like a pro. It was priceless. I hope you can hear the announcer, who quoted Sawyer, “I have no more cancer, because Jesus healed-ed me!” The wonderful folks at CCF even had that phrase embroidered on a blanket for him!

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But no matter the setting, the beauty of the decorations, the grandeur of the hotel surroundings or the prestige of the celebrities in the room…the inescapable fact was that we were here because of childhood cancer. Our family never could have afforded the tickets to attend the event, even just to watch Sawyer. Our attendance was made possible because of the personal kindness of the Executive Director and the generosity of another cancer family who had lost their daughter to cancer several years ago. This night wasn’t just a high society event for entertainment, but Children’s Cancer Fund is committed to the mission of funding cutting-edge childhood cancer research, staffing Dallas Children’s with top notch Child Life Specialists, and they have been supporting families battling childhood cancer for 31 years! Initial reports show that more than $1 million was raised at the Gala! Just astounding. It was a very special, truly unforgettable evening for our family.

~Saturday morning was ANOTHER special event, the 8th Annual Collin Boyd Strikeout 4 Cancer Baseball Tournament. Collin is a 2x childhood cancer survivor here in Tyler, and his dedicated family hosts the tournament every year to raise funds to support other newly diagnosed families in East Texas. Like us, they have become passionate about bringing beauty and outreach out of the ashes of their personal pain, and they work tirelessly to involve the community in this incredible event. This year’s beneficiary was sweet Georgia Crim. In one day, the tournament, home run derby, food sales, and silent auction raised more than $30,000 which is directly gifted to the Crim family! GLORY TO GOD! Please continue to pray for Georgia. She had a successful surgery to implant her port and her first round of chemotherapy this past Tuesday. Miraculously, she was able to attend the tournament on Saturday, and was mostly smiles (she and Sawyer are such sweet buddies). But it’s a long road ahead. And please also be in prayer for Baby Lucas, who goes in for his 4th infusion tomorrow. Jesus, we ask for HEALING for these precious babies!

People hint vaguely sometimes, not necessarily with ill intent, that families with terminally or chronically ill children “sure get to do some amazing things.” And yes, sometimes that’s true. Sawyer has met sports stars, gotten autographs and tremendous gifts, had VIP treatment, and our family was given a free trip to Hawaii. Unbelievable. Ask me if 1% of these “side benefits” are worth holding my son down while a 1 inch needle is pierced in his chest ONCE. Let alone monthly or weekly for 3 years. The countless nights in the hospital, the dreadful drugs and side effects, the PTSD and strain on marriage and family….ask any parent of a medically fragile child if it’s worth a fast pass at Disneyland or a backstage meet-and-greet with Taylor Swift. There are no “perks” that come with a sick child. Don’t get me wrong, we are genuinely grateful for the unique opportunities we have experienced because of the compassion and generosity of others. But it’s not a fair trade for a healthy child. Not by a long shot.

Let’s love one another GENEROUSLY this week. Everyone is walking through something. Everyone can benefit from an extra measure of grace and compassion. Maybe you are the answer to someone’s prayers.

Thank you for giving thanks with me.

““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”” John 16:33

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

Risen

I am thankful that even though the beginning of this week started off ROUGH, it got better and ended GLORIOUS!

Sawyer woke up Monday morning feeling bad. Really bad. His first words were, “Mama…my lungs hurt when I ‘breave.’” Well I surely didn’t like the sound of that! I laid hands on him and prayed over him right away, observed that he didn’t have fever, and encouraged him to eat some breakfast and drink some milk. I knew he had coughed a lot over the night, and hoped he would feel better with some warm oatmeal in his throat. But after just one bite, he laid his little curls down on the counter and said quietly, “Mama, I don’t sink I should go to school.” That is completely out of character for Sawyer. He absolutely LOVES school, and never wants to stay home. So I tucked him back in bed. He immediately fell fast asleep, and I immediately called for a pediatrician appointment, fearing a recurrence of pneumonia. At his appointment, all appeared normal. Still no fever, no breath sounds indicating pneumonia… but with every breath, Sawyer clutched his chest. Even when Dr. Everett would distract him and get him giggling, he would double over and grab his chest, right over his heart. This was enough concern to the doctor that he felt a chest X-ray was warranted to rule out pneumonia or pneumothorax (collapsed lung). So from the pediatrician to the imaging facility we went. That in itself was stressful enough, not to mention dragging a cranky five-year-old and an even crankier two-year-old from one waiting room to another, with no pre-prepared keep-busy activities or snacks….we were all stretched PRETTY THIN after 2 1/2 hours. But the receptionist was very kind and brought out clipboards with paper and pens, and that got my grumpy loves over the hump until Sawyer got called back. The X-ray itself was quick and easy, Sawyer had no anxiety at all, and it was a far more peaceful experience than his last X-ray years ago (having to be strapped down as a toddler). Then came the agonizing WAIT for results. BUT GOD. We finally got a call after 5pm that the X-ray was clear (HALLELUJAH!) of pneumonia and pneumothorax, but that there was some irritation on the lung lining (pleurisy) in the area corresponding to his pain. Long, stressful day, but so very thankful for excellent care and good news. (And Sawyer is now feeling great! Thank You Jesus for protection and speedy healing!)

~ for a fun but far-too-short visit from “Cousin” Jen (dear friend who has crossed the threshold and become family). She came all the way from Dallas to watch Cooper and Carson Grace’s games this week! So fun cramming in a visit and catching one another up on life.

~ for an emotionally charged morning celebrating the GCS Senior class. The Seniors walked the halls of the elementary school in their caps and gowns, with the young students lined up giving them all high-fives. I can imagine how big and grown up the Seniors looked to the little kids, but to all the parents looking on, those were our babies. Only yesterday, Carson Grace was in her kindergarten class, with a little custom stool under her tiny feet because she couldn’t reach the floor. Now she is graduating in a few short weeks.

~ for Gavin’s character quality award, Enthusiasm. Such a fitting award, as G-Man is exactly that: bright, creative and overflowing with enthusiasm. He is always questioning, always creating, always learning. The Lord has an incredible future for this boy.

~ that I intercepted the less-than-flattering time-lapse video that my darling Tatum K filmed of me in the dressing room at Old Navy before she texted it to someone!!!!!

~ for a hopping week for Giddyup & Whoa! Finished 2 custom orders and 7 more pieces for the Gresham Barn Sale! Vintage & Co. even featured us on their page! Busy sign week means not much progress on the beams…but I know they’re waiting for me, a project literally hanging over my head….

~ for a fun and tasty lunch with a friend. So grateful for sisters to lean on and to do life with.

~ that every bad day comes to an end. Some days just stink. Not life-or-death cancer days…just run of the mill, cranky, overtired kids + cranky, overwhelmed mama + a to-do list a mile long = YUCK. You know when you park the car and each of the children exit the vehicle with an, “I’m sorry Mama,” that it’s been a rough day. But thank You Lord for new mercies every morning!

~ for a fun-packed Easter weekend: school holiday, sleepovers, ice-cold swimming, a much-needed date night, yard work, egg hunts, Easter baskets, Resurrection rolls for breakfast, powerful worship service and message, lunch with all the cousins, cake! and pie! and WAAAAY too much candy! I am thankful for every single time I get to be with all our children together…even if it wasn’t until the very end of the day (Colton had to work). I don’t take it for granted any more.

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~ most of all, I’m so thankful for the miracle of Easter. That Jesus, pure and sinless, willingly chose the Cross for my sin and for yours. Friday and Saturday we grieve for all He endured. But Sunday. Sunday! Sunday morning is what it’s all about! The stone is rolled away, the tomb is empty, and JESUS IS ALIVE! Death couldn’t hold our Savior, and thanks to Him, it can’t hold me! No matter what we endure on this earth, if we chose Jesus, we are promised to live in eternity with Him! There is no day more worthy of celebrating, flipping over backwards with all-surpassing JOY than today! HE IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!!

Please hold dear Georgia and the Crim family in your prayers. She had her first brain surgery a few weeks ago, and she will begin her first round of chemotherapy this Tuesday.

Thank You Jesus for New Life. Thank You that the Light will ALWAYS overcome the darkness.

And thank you all for giving thanks with me.

“They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” Then they remembered his words.” Luke 24:5-8

“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”” Matthew 28:18-20

April Tuesday

I am thankful:

~for the most fun “April Tuesday” ever! Sawyer has talked about his plans for “jokes” for weeks now. And on last Sunday, on March 31, he was so excited he couldn’t even sleep. He kept getting out of bed telling me another funny idea he had. I got so tickled. So even though we’ve never done anything for April Fools’ Day before, I knew I had to step up my game. I did a little prep work that night…actually staying up until 1 in the morning, hiding a pickle slice in each of their pb&j sandwiches. The kids were greeted at breakfast with their bowls of cereal…only to dig in and discovered that it was FROZEN in the milk. Their puzzled faces were priceless! Sawyer’s dream came true of delivering a special “cake” for his teacher, and had him giggling all the way to school. I do fear that his class did not appreciate the humor. They were pretty stoked about eating cake, and mighty disappointed to find out it was actually a frosted cardboard cereal box. Thankfully, Mrs. Youngblood saved the day by allowing them to drag their fingers through the icing, so Sawyer didn’t lose all his friends that day.

~ for a great baseball/softball/track week. Enjoyed the sunshine with Bear and the kids, eating popcorn, making daisy chains, and cheering on the Cougars.

~for lunch with a friend. There is something so special about sitting down and breaking bread together. Even when sometimes the conversation is heavy, or the topic isn’t fun, the sharing of hearts side by side is priceless. What a blessing to have brothers and sisters in Christ to love us through all seasons, and to pray for one another as we seek God’s best for our families.

~ for teachers who really love my kids. And are willing to come along side so that they can reach their potential.

~for the bright, cheerful azaleas displaying their finery across our city.

~ for a call I have been waiting for almost as long as I can remember. A call to tell me that my sweet friends are going to have a baby! Born not of her tummy, but born in her heart, this precious couple has been chosen by a birth mom to be the parents of a baby boy due in June. They traveled many hours to meet birth mom this weekend, and they are asking for prayers for God’s grace over every step of this journey: for a healthy remainder of the pregnancy, and most of all prayer for this birth mom who is giving the most unselfish gift of love to this baby. Father God has seen my friends, has seen this birth mom, and has collected every silent tear they have cried in the dark. And His timing is always right on time. Oh the joy that can’t be contained!!!! GLORY TO THE LORD!

~for the blessing of attending chapel, the very last time Carson Grace will lead worship with her peers in high school. All these “lasts“ are so bittersweet. I’m so proud of her, and so excited for all that lies ahead, but it’s so hard to let go. Later in the week, she had the amazing honor of presenting the National Anthem at the 28th Annual Tyler Firefighters Awards Banquet. It was a wonderful program, with moments of storytelling and laughter between comrades while handing out awards and door prizes, and weighted somber moments of as we were reminded of the life and death experiences they face almost every day. So thankful for the dedication and bravery of these true American heroes.

~ for new friendships. This week Josh and I got to visit with Phil and Kathy Jimerson, fellow Carthagites, and former classmates of Susan K. Kathy has recently published a book, a personal memoir written by an encourager and storyteller over the last 2 decades of her life. And she gifted us a copy! Over coffee we chatted about cancer and writing, about remodeling and about Jesus. Our kindred hearts quickly knit. You can find Kathy’s book here. I’m so excited to read it!

~ for Cooper having an awesome weekend on the Grace Student Miniseries Overdrive Retreat.

~ for a cool photo shoot with Carson Grace at our local vintage record store.

40 years ago on this day, God made a man for me. He put a loving, fighting heart into this young man and wrote a love story on his heart. God made this man for a purpose… He made him for me. He made him for a tribe of young warriors who would watch and learn from him. He made him for countless individuals who would be strengthened and encouraged by a relationship and friendship with him. He put in him a work ethic second to none. He made him a true man’s man, but gave him a heart tender enough not to hide his tears. I love this man with all the fierceness my heart can hold. I love Josh’s birthday because it was the day he was made for me. We had a great day celebrating, starting with 40 Martha White blueberry muffins for breakfast, 40 Home Depot gift cards, then dinner with the family: delicious grilled burgers and 40 cupcakes with candles of course! It was special to have all our kids together, and they all shared “40 Things We Love About Dad.” Love that man of mine.

Such a busy week for us, tons of Giddyup & Whoa signs in the works, delivered a couple of pieces, a few more custom orders going out this week, and an exciting new opportunity: I’ve been invited to participate at the Vintage & Co Semi-Annual Gresham Barn Sale! Anyone in East Texas knows that the Gresham Barn Sale is one of the very best antique and vintage markets in our area. I’m so honored to be a part, and hoping that it is a great partnership for both businesses! Excited to get lots of painting done this week. Check out Vintage & Co. on Instagram and Facebook. Spring sale is coming up April 24-27.

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Busy sign week meant not a lot of progress on the beams….still not giving up. Slow progress is still progress.

This week was an emotionally wrung-out week. Just a lot going on, both out in public with the kids and then wrestling through the personal stuff that’s held in our hearts. Trusting God is a full-time job. We have to actively trust: daily re-aligning our hearts to seek after His. It’s so easy to get in my head and overthink and just give myself over to the anxiety that is always waiting for me. Thank You Lord for Your steadfast love. Even when I am freaking out, You wait for me…Your Word is truly a Lamp unto my feet and a Light unto my path, and I know I’m never alone. And I know Your Plan is good. A lot better than mine.

Big prayers needed for Baby Lucas. He is scheduled for a sedated MRI tomorrow, and another chemo infusion. We are praying for shrinkage/no new disease. Please Jesus, heal this baby boy! And please pray comfort and peace over his family as well. And our dear friend, Jase, now 5 years old and in his 2nd year of treatment for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, has been plagued with unexplained fevers and GI complaints for weeks, bouncing in and out of local and Dallas ERs….will you join us in healing prayers for the Curtis family?

Whatever you are facing this week friends, don’t lose heart. Be brave. Step up. Step out. The sidelines will always be full of onlookers…maybe today it’s your turn to lead.

Thank you for giving thanks with me.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:3-4 NIV

Unexpected

I am thankful:

~ last week I forgot to report the wonderful news that my dear friends from Mississippi who had traveled to Dallas for work and then found themselves TRAPPED in the ICU at Children’s Hospital finally got to GO HOME! Ian improved enough to be moved from ICU to the general Oncology floor, and then they had the long tedious wait for ANC to rise enough for docs to feel confident that he was well enough to make the 8 hour drive home. But after a FULL WEEK unexpectedly stuck in an unfamiliar hospital 500 miles away, they made it back safely to the comfort of their home and the rest of their children! So very thankful for Jesus’ healing, for the supernatural grace He gave them to endure the waiting, and for “my” awesome nurses who (no surprise) went out of their way to love on this family and make their stay as comfortable as possible. They are the real life Dream Team folks!!! No nurses better will you find!

~ this week we had the great privilege of celebrating Sophie the Brave’s 4th birthday with “Do More for Soph Day.” I wrestled with it a lot more than I anticipated. It brought up really hard emotions. Spreading unexpected joy and blessings around was sweet, but was sharply contrasted with the very present reality of wishing she was here for her Mama to hold, here to blow out the candles on her cake and be sassy. It took my breath away at times. Sawyer, Tatum K and I had fun picking out little gifts at the store for the ones on our hearts, and we talked about Sophie all day long. Sawyer said, “I’m so glad Sophie is happy with Jesus, but I know her Mama is sad.” He also said he thinks she’s on Jesus’ lap having birthday cake. We made several stops and deliveries, and after picking up kids we did some more! Honestly, that part was exhilarating. I’ve never paid for the order of a car behind me in a drive thru before – now THAT was fun! It was so refreshing to serve. We get tunnel vision, so conditioned to focus on our mindless mundane routines, that we forget there’s a big world out there full of hurting people. I noticed it when I was at the store later in the week during my bi-weekly grocery haul. Tatum K was in the buggy, happily munching her goldfish and blissfully chirping, “Hi friend,” to everyone she saw. But everyone else around us just looked…beaten down. Faces expressionless. Downtrodden. Sleepwalking. Her smile lit up the place. So often that’s the case, if you smile at someone, they are likely to smile back. BUT SOMEBODY HAS TO SMILE FIRST!!! You just never know what someone’s going through. I have had plenty of sleepwalker days. I’ve had many days when I was the one with no smiles to give. But if you find yourself ABLE to be a light…GO AHEAD AND SHINE!

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~ for God giving me an extra measure of grace on Sophie Day to bless one more person: my son. Cooper had a track meet (yes, he does baseball AND track!). I rarely make it to track meets, because they are so long and the events so spread out. And he is always such a great sport about it. But even though we’d already had a full and utterly exhausting day, I knew how much it would mean to him if I was there. The weather was perfect, so I packed up our dinner and chairs and headed to the school. Cooper told me his event would be around 6:45. Of course, he didn’t end up running until 8:30!!! It was the longest 2 hours of all time with my whiny, cranky past-their-bedtime entourage. But he ran, we cheered, and then we headed home (we DID NOT stay for his NEXT race, which ended up being at about 10:25pm). And on my way home, I received this text from Cooper, “Thanks for coming Momma. It really meant a lot. I love you.” That was MY favorite blessing of the day.

~ for Free Cone Day at DQ. Always thankful for those rare unexpected opportunities to come out looking like “Nice Mom.” She doesn’t show up too often.

~ for an unexpected midday knock on the front door. Colton popped in just to say “hi” and have lunch with his mom.

~ so proud of our Sam, who did an outstanding job as ToastMaster in her fourth grade class this week.

~ for two special Giddyup &Whoa signs completed and delivered this week.

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~ thankful to have survived my marathon Friday. Toastmasters at 8 AM, a long-overdue breakfast date with a friend, three back-to-back grocery stores, mountain of groceries loaded in-car-out-of-car-and-put-away, kids picked up from school at 1pm, three dozen cupcakes baked, dinner-on-the-go cooked and packed up, and finally loaded up the Tribe for a softball game at 5. Don’t get me wrong, they were all blessings, every single one. But this mama was WIPED! Almost inevitably, the anxiety monster really assaults when my to-do list is longer than my leg. When I have lots on “my” list to accomplish, it all starts to swarm before my eyes and my mind gets overwhelmed. So as the thoughts raced out of control and fingers of panic began to squeeze my chest, I just reached out to the Lord and begin to pray aloud in the car. It’s not magic, I wasn’t just instantly delivered… but He always gives grace upon grace, and He got me through my day (and even most of my list.)

~ for thrilling news from a dear friend. After a long time of seeking the Lord and waiting, they received a life-changing phone call. They were chosen as adoptive parents, and their new baby was about to be born! Not even knowing if they would bring home a boy or a girl, they hopped on a plane and flew across the country. And that was not the only uncertainty…there is always the chance that the birth mom will change her mind. But God had a plan. And now their dreams of becoming parents have come true…tonight they are home with their baby girl. My heart overflows! Prayers for them as they settle into their new life, and prayers for the unspeakably selfless birth mother who made the hardest choice. Glory to the Lord!

~ for the blessing of hosting a sweet, sweet baby shower at our home with some of my dear sisters. What a blessing to come alongside a family and love like Jesus! That is what my church family is best at!

~ for the surreal blessing of Carson Grace being asked to sing her original song for special music at church. There is no greater blessing than to see your children stepping into their God-ordained gifts.

As I close this longer-than-usual Sunday Gratitude, I hope you’ve made it this far. I ask for continued prayer for Baby Lucas, still in the early stages of his cancer treatment. And this week, a new prayer request. Another GCS family received the unexpected crushing news that their beautiful daughter had a brain tumor. She has had her first surgery, which the doctors consider a success, but the road ahead is long and terrifying. Her name is Georgia, she’s 4 years old, and she is still currently in the Pediatric ICU at Children’s awaiting pathology reports that will dictate the treatment plan. Friends, let’s carry this family boldly to the throne of the Father, and ask for abundance of grace and healing for their precious baby girl. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. Oh how I hate cancer, but oh, how I love Jesus.

Embrace the unexpected, the good and the bad. God is the God of all of it. Unexpected good is treasure. Unexpected bad… well, we are reminded of our need for a Savior, our need for grace, our need for one another.

Thank you for giving thanks with me.

“It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:13-18