Not Giving Up

I am thankful:

~ that my baby girl had a great birthday…but i am NOT OK that she is SIX! I still can’t wrap my mind around it. She is the spiciest little firecracker, but also the sweetest at the same time. She seemed to love sharing her birthday with the joyful celebration of Resurrection Day, and we all enjoyed her cake AND pie around the campfire.

(Somebody also lost their very first tooth!)

~ thankful that even if it was for just a moment, I had all my Loves together.

~ thankful that we pretty much OFFICIALLY BECAME A FARM last week, adding 3 goats, 13 chicks, AND A DUCK to our menagerie. We are learning as we go, but the kids are definitely loving all their new babies.

~ for our new chicken coop, just waiting for the chicks to grow large enough to graduate from the brooder. Love our little barnyard setup as it slowly begins to take shape.

~ for a fun day representing Gold Network ETX at the Jr. League of Tyler’s “Touch a Truck” event. Sawyer had a blast looking at all the various classic cars, community service vehicles, and construction equipment…even a helicopter landing! We we were able to share the mission of Gold Network with lots of friends from the community, and even met a new HERO family.

Our dear friend and HERO, Trenn, achieved his ultimate healing in the arms of Jesus this week.

He battled long and hard through unspeakable pain and setbacks, and did so with courage and grace. He was loved by everyone who had the great privilege of learning his story. Please pray for his dear family, as they learn to navigate life without the boy that has been at the center of their world. Pray for the doctors and nurses who did everything they could for him, and provided such loving and compassionate care for the boy they fell in love with. People don’t really think about how deeply and personally they feel these losses.

Oh, how I hate cancer. Losing another friend never becomes routine. It doesn’t get easier.

I keep trying to make myself post that Gold Run registration is open. But I stop myself before I do it. Because WHO CARES!? A mama is crying herself to sleep tonight without her son. Who cares about a STUPID 5K!

But then I remember why we do what we do. We have to raise awareness. For Trenn. For Sophie. For Ceely. For Eric and Olivia and Michael and every other kid we’ve lost. And for Sawyer and Mason and Aneesa and every kid who’s still here. We have to raise money to take care of these families. Raise money for research. Keep fighting for training and better care for our children. It’s NOT A STUPID 5K. It’s a mission, a God-given ministry to families that need hope.

We are not giving up. EVER.

We’ve changed our name from Tyler Gold Run to East Texas Gold Run, to better reflect the broader community we seek to serve. Join us September 23, 2023. Run. Or walk. Or donate. Registration is open. Help us make a difference.

https://www.active.com/tyler-tx/running/distance-running-races/east-tx-gold-run-2023

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?” (Psalms 56:8)

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalms 34:18)

“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.”(Galatians 6:9)

I am thankful:

~ for an exciting milestone – our first Gold Network/Children’s Hospital/CHRISTUS Trinity Mother Frances collaboration! We hosted our 3rd and 4th Certified Continuing Education Class providing information and training to local ER nurses on the care of pediatric oncology patients.

Our East Texas HERO kids go through so much, and countless ER visits are almost inevitable. So anything we can do to help improve their care is a huge priority. It was so special to have 2 of Sawyer’s care team drive in from Dallas to perform the training, and a special treat to surprise them with a breakfast date with one of their favorite kiddos! Thank You Lord, for opening doors for change.

~ for a delicious Ruby’s lunch date with my boy.

~ for a special day for Zoe, as a beautiful queen at her class Medieval Feast.

~ for a fun double date that started with a tornado warning and ended with a shopping trip for ant killer at Lowe’s. And lots of great conversation and laughs in between.

~ for the sweetheart surprising me with the start of my dream garden (after telling me I couldn’t have one until next year). So excited to start FARMING! (We are SO NOT farmers!)

~ for a double decker April Fool’s Day prank for my prank-loving kids. Started with calling the kids out to “see” a surprise…they could hear the bleating of baby goats, and started squealing with joy…until they realized it was just a sound effect on my phone.

And then they opened up a box of “treat” cereal (Trix was a good choice, don’t you think?). Instead of tasty cereal, they were met with a variety of the most hideous items we could find at the grocery store: from mac and cheese and bacon flavored gummies to smoked oysters and sardines in tomato sauce. They were (mostly) great sports about it, and actually surprisingly enjoyed several new delicacies. April 1 is seriously Sawyer’s favorite day of the year!

~ for the amazing gift of watching my kids enjoy the country. This is our WHY…

Friends, with a heavy heart I ask for your prayers for our HERO friend, Trenn, and his Warrior parents, Anna and Randy. Trenn’s body is wearing out from the relentless battle, doctors are out of options, and the family is now facing the unthinkable. I have no words. Just please pray for Jesus to be near.

Sometimes it gets really hard to be thankful. Because why do I get to enjoy my healthy children and so many blessings while my friend’s world is crumbling? We just don’t understand. But no matter what, He is still good. He is still worthy.

So even when it’s dark, and even when none of us FEEL like it, thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me; Lord, be my help.”” (Psalms 30:10)

“The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”” (Exodus 33:14)

A Spring Break to Remember

I am thankful for a busy and blessed Spring Break!

Lord, thank You for these amazing kids that go with the flow.

Thank You for my Energizer-Bunny of a husband.

And thank You for hard work and good fun and days that we will never forget.

Thank You Father, for leading us and stretching us and for giving us the courage to do hard things, unconventional things, uncomfortable things, and embrace the unknown.

As for this week…you wouldn’t believe me if I told you…

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” (Proverbs 16:3)

Better

I am thankful.

Thank you for all the kindness after last week’s post. The best part about last week was when it was OVER! But God. He is always good, and His peace can reign regardless of our circumstances, if we will invite Him in.

This week has been better!

~ thankful for a great start to it, which just happened to be my birthday! I was blessed and encouraged by many well-wishers, and was treated to the most lovely luncheon at one of the most charming spots in Carthage!

~ treated to my very favorite coconut meringue pie!

~ blessed by gorgeous flowers from one of my sweet boys,

~ and a wonderful grownups only dinner with my Love.

~ also extremely grateful my Facebook hack incident was quickly cleared up and all accounts restored. Social media is such a mixed blessing, but is still the most effective means of running a small business and promoting a nonprofit, so it was pretty stressful having it all shut down.

~ for a marathon of happy Gotcha Days! 9 pups have gone home to their forever families! Just one lonely little boy left looking for his home!

~ for an entertaining evening watching Samantha’s 7th/8th grade drama presentation of “You Can’t Take it With You.” Sam was on the tech crew running lights and did a great job.

~ for a quick sign order! Giddyup & Whoa is semi-retired from reclaimed wood signs because of our transition of rent house to the farm, but I still do some handlettering when I get the chance. I was glad I had an unpainted sign on hand for someone who needed a gift!

~ for the beauty of spring springing all around East Texas. I was tickled to find these bright yellow daffodils that popped up at the farm. I love spring!

~ for an epic ending to Sawyer’s basketball season. His team played so well! They came away with a victory, and Sawyer scored twice (his first baskets of the season!). To say the boys were thrilled is a great understatement. It’s been so fun to watch the progress. At the beginning of the season, none of the kids new any of the rules, and Game 1 was more of a hands on lesson taught by the ref. But they had a fabulous (volunteer aka a dad who got volun-TOLD) who was patient and kind. And while they still lost most of their games, they never seemed discouraged or frustrated…because win or lose, they were actually HAVING FUN! It was a wonderful first basketball experience for Sawyer, and the big victory was icing on the cake!

As we turn another calendar page this week, I’m acutely aware of how quickly the days are flying by. Spring is coming, the world is waking up from its winter sleep, and new life is cropping up everywhere. This spring will see lots of change for our family as we prepare for another move and get the next Rucker ready to graduate high school. My heart is stirring with all the fresh change we are marching toward.

I’m not ready.

Thankfully God is. He has gone before. He has prepared a place. He is preparing all our hearts. And He will go with us.

And His grace will meet us there.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”” (Exodus 33:14)

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” (Psalms 139:7-10)

Quietly Grateful

I am thankful:

~ for quite possibly the greatest milestone and the most breathtaking upgrade to our property to date:

A POTTY!

We have experienced varying degrees of ROUGHING IT over the last 8 months, and I could not be more grateful for this glorious convenience!

~ for the sweetest puppy eyes! They are growing every day.

~ for a special 15th birthday for our special Sam girl.

Samantha is such a joy. My right hand around the house, die-hard Cowboys fan with her Dad (boo for tonight’s game!), a sucker for EVERY Hallmark Channel romance, and in love with all things horse/country/cowgirl. It is incredible seeing her growing into the bright and beautiful young woman God has ordained her to be. She enjoyed her homemade cranberry orange muffin breakfast, Whataburger lunch, and crescent chicken, sweet potato fries with homemade ranch, and baked her own birthday cake: classic yellow with chocolate icing. Where did our little Stinky Girl go?

~ for another successful puzzle completion, this one a gift from Colton!

~ for a great opportunity for Cooper, sharing with middle schoolers during chapel as a part of his senior year internship.

~ for a really cool project underway with my wonderful husband. It’s been a long time since we’ve had the opportunity to work with our stash of gorgeous reclaimed wood, so I’m totally in love. And my sweetheart is so patient with me, and so talented at bringing my unconventional ideas and imaginings into reality. He’s amazing. I drive him nuts.

Just feeling quietly grateful these days. So thankful for this season. We are busy. We work hard. Our hands and our hearts are full. God is so good.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.” (Psalms 5:11)

“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” (Psalms 5:3)

Never Stop

I am thankful:

~ for one good week completed with Birdie’s sweet pups. If you’ve been here a while, you know puppy season is an intense one for me. It means round the clock observation, making sure everyone gets nursed and cleaned, and no one gets accidentally crushed. Birdie is a great mama, but she needs a little help with 10 pups! I sleep on the floor beside them for a full three weeks to make sure we don’t have any accidents. They are precious, but the commitment is no joke!

~ for Elsa noodle soup when my little missy was not feeling good. It was just what she needed! Who knew!?

~ for lots of laughs as I have gone round and round with some (nameless) members of my family who claim that I completely made up the concept of a colorful cake with a plastic baby baked in it. Sorry fam, I DID NOT concoct the tradition of the Mardi Gras King Cake! It’s really a thing!

~ for an awesome, HIGHLY ANTICIPATED, and LOOOONG AWAITED addition to the barn: a back door! So excited as this giant project continues to take shape.

~ for my sweet and thoughtful husband who SURPRISED ME by calling in dinner for me when he had to be out of town for work.

~ for Sawyer’s first basketball game. What a hoot! It’s his first time to play (as well as most of his teammates) and they are all learning as they go. So fun to watch him skipping up and down that court, playing his heart out. It never ceases to blow my mind to see Sawyer living a full and normal life after all he has been through and all the obstacles he has overcome. BUT GOD! God is so good. I will never stop praising Him for his mercy and protection; and I never stop testifying of the miracles I have witnessed with my own eyes.

It’s been a good week to count my blessings and rest in His goodness.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” (Psalms 143:8)

“Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” (Psalms 106:1)

Present

I am thankful.

Like truly thankful.

I heard such an encouraging message this morning at church that both challenged and inspired me about living IN THE PRESENT.

Not looking back with longing or regret at what was or what might have been.

Not looking forward with qualifiers and unrealistic expectations that we keep hoping will finally fill the unfillable holes in us.

But loving and serving and living and obeying right where God has us today.

Releasing a past that we cannot change to a merciful, redemptive Father. And trusting a future that we cannot control to a lovingly sovereign Savior.

What if we really lived that way? What if we didn’t allow ourselves to be crippled by looking back or paralyzed by imagining what’s around the corner?

So I give thanks…

~ for 10 healthy puppies.

~ for a successfully conquered new family puzzle.

~ for a beautiful wedding.

~ for sweet moments when the kids are enjoying each other.

~ for a delicious chicken salad.

~ for a silly little girl who always makes me laugh.

~ for a beautiful clear afternoon for building a fence with my love.

~ for a full quiver of children, a Christ-centered marriage, for the ability to dream and to work hard, and that we have everything we need (and then some).

The present is a beautiful place to be. Don’t miss it.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

(Want to listen to the sermon? https://youtube.com/channel/UCZiHTpRl7KvcXVpA8IUieHg)

“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:27, 33-34)

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:4-8)

Present

I am thankful.

Like truly thankful.

I heard such an encouraging message this morning at church that both challenged and inspired me about living IN THE PRESENT.

Not looking back with longing or regret at what was or what might have been.

Not looking forward with qualifiers and unrealistic expectations that we keep hoping will finally fill the unfillable holes in us.

But loving and serving and living and obeying right where God has us today.

Releasing a past that we cannot change to a merciful, redemptive Father. And trusting a future that we cannot control to a lovingly sovereign Savior.

What if we really lived that way? What if we didn’t allow ourselves to be crippled by looking back or paralyzed by imagining what’s around the corner?

So I give thanks…

~ for 10 healthy puppies.

~ for a successfully conquered new family puzzle.

~ for a beautiful wedding.

~ for sweet moments when the kids are enjoying each other.

~ for a delicious chicken salad.

~ for a silly little girl who always makes me laugh.

~ for a beautiful clear afternoon for building a fence with my love.

~ for a full quiver of children, a Christ-centered marriage, for the ability to dream and to work hard, and that we have everything we need (and then some).

The present is a beautiful place to be. Don’t miss it.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

(Want to listen to the sermon? https://youtube.com/channel/UCZiHTpRl7KvcXVpA8IUieHg)

New

I am thankful:

~ for a wonderful Christmas break, celebrating Jesus and enjoying our family traditions.

~ for a first-time-ever Christmas trip! We surprised the kids with a trip to a cabin in Branson, Missouri right after Christmas. We had never been before, so it was brand new for all of us. Sadly, our two oldest were not able to join us (growing up is tough!). And even though it was a 9 hour-one-way drive, we made incredible memories all along the way!

~ and to safely make it back home BEFORE Birdie has her pups (yep! Expecting ANY DAY NOW!)

We also made it back JUST IN TIME to host a dozen or so teenagers for New Year’s Eve out at the farm.

It’s been a good year.

A year of radical change.

A year of listening to the Lord and trusting where He is leading our family. A year of letting go of the expected and waiting expectantly for a new chapter to unfold.

A year of literally building a new life.

And now we stand upon a path laid out before us, and we say “YES!”

Yes, Lord, we will go. Yes, Lord, we trust You. Yes, Lord, we will lay down our plans, desires, dreams, and expectations and submit ourselves to YOUR PLAN ALONE.

This is not “our year.”

It’s His.

May we love like Him; forgive like Him; serve like Him. May we look more like Him at the close of 2023 than we do today.

Happy New Year, friends.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

““Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.” (1 Chronicles 28:20)

Peace

I am thankful:

~ for so many kind words, messages, and prayers after last week’s blog post. I know I’m not alone in dealing with anxiety, especially during the holidays. The range of emotions and the breakneck pace are a volatile combination. But God is so good.

~ for grace during the Christmas CRUNCH! Last minute shopping, searching frantically for the gifts I KNOW I BOUGHT but somehow can’t find (because I tucked them somewhere SO SAFE), the returns of the duplicates I bought to replace the gifts I couldn’t find (but then found🤪)…traffic that makes me need extra Jesus, and 10,364,292 Christmas activities/events/parties that are all scheduled back to back to back.

AWESOME Annual Christmas with Strangers Concert

~ for a fun road trip to celebrate Grandmommy’s birthday! Which also is the annual kickoff day for a favorite tradition: the 12 Days of Christmas! Grandmommy is so thoughtful and creative to come up with 12 gifts for our family, and we all have a blast singing the song each night and opening a new surprise! So grateful for such a special tradition.

Loved receiving this special window cling nativity, as it brought back a memory of years ago…

It had also been given as a 12 Days gift when Sawyer spent his first Christmas in the hospital during his cancer treatment

~ for the incredible opportunity to make a special trip to Dallas representing Gold Network of East Texas for a long-awaited, IN PERSON check presentation. Each year we donate toward ongoing pediatric cancer research projects at Children’s Health/UTSouthwestern. The past two years we have helped fund research being conducted by one of Sawyer’s most beloved oncologists, Dr. Sam John, but hospital pandemic precaution protocols prevented us from donating in person. A virtual check presentation just isn’t the same. So it was priceless to actually make the trip to Dallas and reunite Sawyer the Warrior with Dr. John, look him in the eyes, and thank him for the important work he is doing.

And we always love the Hero’s Welcome Sawyer receives when he walks his old halls. These doctors and nurses are so very dear to us.

~ for a great trip for Josh and Cooper to watch the Carthage Bulldogs claim their 9th State Football Championship. The kids and I watched and cheered from home. Way to go, Bulldogs!

~ for lots of good progress and backbreaking hard work going on in and around the casita. Septic went in this week! Looking forward to a REAL POTTY soon!

~ for beautiful encouragement from our Father. It’s so easy to let “the season” sweep us away from the Truth. To get off track, lose heart, lose faith in people (and yourself), and see the ever-darkening darkness creeping in around us.

BUT GOD.

He was and is and always will be the Light of the World. He’s STILL HERE. There’s always HOPE. We will always have questions, but HE IS THE ANSWER. And not just in heaven, when this broken world has been made new. He is the answer RIGHT NOW. As long as we are breathing, we have work to do here: repentance to own, people to encourage, the gospel to share. He has peace and FULLNESS OF JOY for us on this earth, when we take His Hand and offer Him His rightful, Righteous place. Emmanuel, God with us.

May we seek Him.

May we find Him.

May we share Him.

I’m so grateful for you, friends.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).” (Matthew 1:21-23)

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6)

And in despair I bowed my head; “There is no peace on earth,” I said; “For hate is strong, And mocks the song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!” Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: “God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men.” (Christmas Bells, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)