Risen

I am thankful that even though the beginning of this week started off ROUGH, it got better and ended GLORIOUS!

Sawyer woke up Monday morning feeling bad. Really bad. His first words were, “Mama…my lungs hurt when I ‘breave.’” Well I surely didn’t like the sound of that! I laid hands on him and prayed over him right away, observed that he didn’t have fever, and encouraged him to eat some breakfast and drink some milk. I knew he had coughed a lot over the night, and hoped he would feel better with some warm oatmeal in his throat. But after just one bite, he laid his little curls down on the counter and said quietly, “Mama, I don’t sink I should go to school.” That is completely out of character for Sawyer. He absolutely LOVES school, and never wants to stay home. So I tucked him back in bed. He immediately fell fast asleep, and I immediately called for a pediatrician appointment, fearing a recurrence of pneumonia. At his appointment, all appeared normal. Still no fever, no breath sounds indicating pneumonia… but with every breath, Sawyer clutched his chest. Even when Dr. Everett would distract him and get him giggling, he would double over and grab his chest, right over his heart. This was enough concern to the doctor that he felt a chest X-ray was warranted to rule out pneumonia or pneumothorax (collapsed lung). So from the pediatrician to the imaging facility we went. That in itself was stressful enough, not to mention dragging a cranky five-year-old and an even crankier two-year-old from one waiting room to another, with no pre-prepared keep-busy activities or snacks….we were all stretched PRETTY THIN after 2 1/2 hours. But the receptionist was very kind and brought out clipboards with paper and pens, and that got my grumpy loves over the hump until Sawyer got called back. The X-ray itself was quick and easy, Sawyer had no anxiety at all, and it was a far more peaceful experience than his last X-ray years ago (having to be strapped down as a toddler). Then came the agonizing WAIT for results. BUT GOD. We finally got a call after 5pm that the X-ray was clear (HALLELUJAH!) of pneumonia and pneumothorax, but that there was some irritation on the lung lining (pleurisy) in the area corresponding to his pain. Long, stressful day, but so very thankful for excellent care and good news. (And Sawyer is now feeling great! Thank You Jesus for protection and speedy healing!)

~ for a fun but far-too-short visit from “Cousin” Jen (dear friend who has crossed the threshold and become family). She came all the way from Dallas to watch Cooper and Carson Grace’s games this week! So fun cramming in a visit and catching one another up on life.

~ for an emotionally charged morning celebrating the GCS Senior class. The Seniors walked the halls of the elementary school in their caps and gowns, with the young students lined up giving them all high-fives. I can imagine how big and grown up the Seniors looked to the little kids, but to all the parents looking on, those were our babies. Only yesterday, Carson Grace was in her kindergarten class, with a little custom stool under her tiny feet because she couldn’t reach the floor. Now she is graduating in a few short weeks.

~ for Gavin’s character quality award, Enthusiasm. Such a fitting award, as G-Man is exactly that: bright, creative and overflowing with enthusiasm. He is always questioning, always creating, always learning. The Lord has an incredible future for this boy.

~ that I intercepted the less-than-flattering time-lapse video that my darling Tatum K filmed of me in the dressing room at Old Navy before she texted it to someone!!!!!

~ for a hopping week for Giddyup & Whoa! Finished 2 custom orders and 7 more pieces for the Gresham Barn Sale! Vintage & Co. even featured us on their page! Busy sign week means not much progress on the beams…but I know they’re waiting for me, a project literally hanging over my head….

~ for a fun and tasty lunch with a friend. So grateful for sisters to lean on and to do life with.

~ that every bad day comes to an end. Some days just stink. Not life-or-death cancer days…just run of the mill, cranky, overtired kids + cranky, overwhelmed mama + a to-do list a mile long = YUCK. You know when you park the car and each of the children exit the vehicle with an, “I’m sorry Mama,” that it’s been a rough day. But thank You Lord for new mercies every morning!

~ for a fun-packed Easter weekend: school holiday, sleepovers, ice-cold swimming, a much-needed date night, yard work, egg hunts, Easter baskets, Resurrection rolls for breakfast, powerful worship service and message, lunch with all the cousins, cake! and pie! and WAAAAY too much candy! I am thankful for every single time I get to be with all our children together…even if it wasn’t until the very end of the day (Colton had to work). I don’t take it for granted any more.

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~ most of all, I’m so thankful for the miracle of Easter. That Jesus, pure and sinless, willingly chose the Cross for my sin and for yours. Friday and Saturday we grieve for all He endured. But Sunday. Sunday! Sunday morning is what it’s all about! The stone is rolled away, the tomb is empty, and JESUS IS ALIVE! Death couldn’t hold our Savior, and thanks to Him, it can’t hold me! No matter what we endure on this earth, if we chose Jesus, we are promised to live in eternity with Him! There is no day more worthy of celebrating, flipping over backwards with all-surpassing JOY than today! HE IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!!

Please hold dear Georgia and the Crim family in your prayers. She had her first brain surgery a few weeks ago, and she will begin her first round of chemotherapy this Tuesday.

Thank You Jesus for New Life. Thank You that the Light will ALWAYS overcome the darkness.

And thank you all for giving thanks with me.

“They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” Then they remembered his words.” Luke 24:5-8

“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”” Matthew 28:18-20

Peace

I am thankful:

~ for every shade of electric green after the rain. The spring landscape is so vibrant.

~ for my sweet and spicy Tatum K turning 2! Even though she didn’t really understand, Tatum knew there was something special going on. Over and over she cheerily chirped, “Tay Tay Happy day! Happy day!“ Of course we celebrated with CAKE AND PIE (homemade chocolate meringue pie and a white chocolate raspberry from Nothing Bundt Cakes). Even chicken pot PIE for dinner. She was captivated by being the center of attention…delighted by the singing of Happy Birthday and blowing out the candles, requesting it to be repeated several times. I don’t think she ever would have stopped! She opened her gifts and her favorite things to carry around for the rest of the evening were two birthday cards, one with monkeys and the other with a dog. Oh, for the simplicity of those carefree days.

~ for the things I hear around my table. While eating chicken pot pie, I ask, “Which of these vegetables is your favorite?” Child#1 instantly replies, “the chicken!” Child#2 replies condescendingly with much distain at their foolish sibling’s lack of culinary knowledge, “Chicken is NOT a vegetable. It’s a REPTILE!”

~ for an unexpected treat: Colton invited Josh and I to lunch. Like, for no reason. Just…to eat lunch. Just because. I’m so thankful for growth in our relationship, and to be at the point where he would actually desire to spend time with his parents when he doesn’t HAVE to. It’s good for this mama‘s heart.

~ for my kids’ creativity. They are all constantly drawing, building, inventing.

~ for great news: a precious cancer mama called me one day this week. We haven’t spoken in a long time, and it is very unusual for her to call me, so I was immediately concerned. She was really struggling and in need of prayer. Her son has been sick repeatedly and dealing with chronic unexplained fevers, and both she and the doctors were concerned of the possibility of relapsed leukemia. That day, her son had a lung biopsy and bone marrow biopsy. We prayed together on the phone. Friday afternoon I missed a call from her. I had a busy day so I didn’t call her back immediately. Then she called me two more times… When I finally answered, the joy in her voice was undeniable, “He is cancer free!” she cried, “The doctor say he doesn’t have it! Thank you for praying!” We rejoiced together. GLORY TO GOD!!!

~ for fresh tulips and lilies on my table.

~ for blankets kept in the back of my car, and for sweatshirts scrounged out of the lost-and-found when the weather unexpectedly dropped 15 degrees at Carson Grace’s softball game! It wasn’t actually that cold, but we had come dressed for a hot afternoon! That was a rough one. We all froze to death, and Sawyer took a really bad fall off a retaining wall. We were a motley looking bunch of shivery, bloody kids and a shaggy mop dog. But Carson Grace and her team played a great game and came out victorious, so I’m really thankful we got to be there!

~ for the children having a wonderful day at school for grandparents/special friends day. Even though many of our dear grandparents live far away, we are so blessed that God has also provided our kids devoted local grandparents. The elementary children are so proud of their school, and they reveled in showing off their artwork and their classrooms and sharing songs and scripture recitations. I am so grateful they are so loved.

~ for iron that sharpens iron. So thankful for brothers and sisters who stretch us and encourage us to stretch.

~ for a super productive Giddyup and Whoa week. I got 2 custom orders done, 3 pieces made and delivered for the Vintage and Co barn sale, and 9 more underway. I guess spring is sign season!

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~ for conquering my Everest this week. I was halfway done with that wretched 3rd beam last week, and it took everything I had to get the other half done. It was brutal, and I look like I lost a game of bloody knuckles, (I guess I kind of did, actually) but I was victorious in the end! 6 more to go! (And Tatum K is thankful for her headphones when Mama is being LOUD.)

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~ speaking of victories, I’m so proud of Carson Grace and her GCS classmates for the capture of their 8th consecutive title of Texas State Championship Choir this weekend! What an accomplishment! So very proud!

~ for a wonderful evening of fellowship at our Gold Network CONNECT support group. I so look forward to this quarterly get-together. We call it a “support group” because it’s intended to be a safe place for cancer parents to support one another, but that label is so incomplete. We share a meal together (this time it was a delicious Italian spread from Oliveto). We meet new friends. We talk about our families. We talk about our cancer kids. Some are on treatment, some off, some doing well, some are struggling, some have gone to be with Jesus. We pray for one another. And we exchange phone numbers so we can keep in touch. It’s so much more than a support group. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to gather these uniquely special families together, for a safe place to let it all hang out with others who understand, with the hope that it takes a little weight off each one of us if we all come alongside one another under the burdens, shoulder to shoulder. And then it was fun to let each couple choose from an assortment of date night gift cards. Really special evening.

I’ve been thinking a lot about peacemaking lately. My kids are constantly at war. Over little stuff. Who gets to pick the show. Who’s fault it is. Who has 6 grapes and who has 7. MY KIDS ARGUE OVER WHO GETS TO PRAY!!!! It’s not hard to get sucked into the egregious role of referee, constantly blowing the whistle and calling penalties and time outs. But I know they have to learn. Because they are always going to face circumstances in their lives where they have to choose: war or peace? And the “stuff,” like the kids, is not going to stay small. So I try to model peacemaking. A softer tone. Mercy over the battle axe. I fail a lot, because I tend to lean on the harsher side of “high structure parenting” vs. the softer, “high nurture parenting” style. I’m still learning, just like they are. God’s still refining me, and I see it more and more clearly that He is using my children to do His refining work in my life and on my heart. It forces me to see how impatient I am when I try to teach my kids to be patient. I hear the tone of my voice, and I’m reminded of how many times I ask them to moderate their tone. Do I really practice what I preach? Do I look and sound anything like the Jesus I tell them about? Oh Father, make me a peacemaker when war looks inevitable. Or just looks easier. And help me raise up a Tribe of peacemakers who will stand up for You, and lay their lives down to love their brother.

Please keep praying for our friend Jase. He has been in and out of Tyler and Dallas ERs with fever and GI issues more than half a dozen times in the past 2 weeks. His family is so weary. They need a healing touch from the Savior.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” 2 Thessalonians 3:16 NIV

“Open the gates that the righteous nation may enter, the nation that keeps faith. You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:2-4 NIV

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Matthew 5:9 NIV

April Tuesday

I am thankful:

~for the most fun “April Tuesday” ever! Sawyer has talked about his plans for “jokes” for weeks now. And on last Sunday, on March 31, he was so excited he couldn’t even sleep. He kept getting out of bed telling me another funny idea he had. I got so tickled. So even though we’ve never done anything for April Fools’ Day before, I knew I had to step up my game. I did a little prep work that night…actually staying up until 1 in the morning, hiding a pickle slice in each of their pb&j sandwiches. The kids were greeted at breakfast with their bowls of cereal…only to dig in and discovered that it was FROZEN in the milk. Their puzzled faces were priceless! Sawyer’s dream came true of delivering a special “cake” for his teacher, and had him giggling all the way to school. I do fear that his class did not appreciate the humor. They were pretty stoked about eating cake, and mighty disappointed to find out it was actually a frosted cardboard cereal box. Thankfully, Mrs. Youngblood saved the day by allowing them to drag their fingers through the icing, so Sawyer didn’t lose all his friends that day.

~ for a great baseball/softball/track week. Enjoyed the sunshine with Bear and the kids, eating popcorn, making daisy chains, and cheering on the Cougars.

~for lunch with a friend. There is something so special about sitting down and breaking bread together. Even when sometimes the conversation is heavy, or the topic isn’t fun, the sharing of hearts side by side is priceless. What a blessing to have brothers and sisters in Christ to love us through all seasons, and to pray for one another as we seek God’s best for our families.

~ for teachers who really love my kids. And are willing to come along side so that they can reach their potential.

~for the bright, cheerful azaleas displaying their finery across our city.

~ for a call I have been waiting for almost as long as I can remember. A call to tell me that my sweet friends are going to have a baby! Born not of her tummy, but born in her heart, this precious couple has been chosen by a birth mom to be the parents of a baby boy due in June. They traveled many hours to meet birth mom this weekend, and they are asking for prayers for God’s grace over every step of this journey: for a healthy remainder of the pregnancy, and most of all prayer for this birth mom who is giving the most unselfish gift of love to this baby. Father God has seen my friends, has seen this birth mom, and has collected every silent tear they have cried in the dark. And His timing is always right on time. Oh the joy that can’t be contained!!!! GLORY TO THE LORD!

~for the blessing of attending chapel, the very last time Carson Grace will lead worship with her peers in high school. All these “lasts“ are so bittersweet. I’m so proud of her, and so excited for all that lies ahead, but it’s so hard to let go. Later in the week, she had the amazing honor of presenting the National Anthem at the 28th Annual Tyler Firefighters Awards Banquet. It was a wonderful program, with moments of storytelling and laughter between comrades while handing out awards and door prizes, and weighted somber moments of as we were reminded of the life and death experiences they face almost every day. So thankful for the dedication and bravery of these true American heroes.

~ for new friendships. This week Josh and I got to visit with Phil and Kathy Jimerson, fellow Carthagites, and former classmates of Susan K. Kathy has recently published a book, a personal memoir written by an encourager and storyteller over the last 2 decades of her life. And she gifted us a copy! Over coffee we chatted about cancer and writing, about remodeling and about Jesus. Our kindred hearts quickly knit. You can find Kathy’s book here. I’m so excited to read it!

~ for Cooper having an awesome weekend on the Grace Student Miniseries Overdrive Retreat.

~ for a cool photo shoot with Carson Grace at our local vintage record store.

40 years ago on this day, God made a man for me. He put a loving, fighting heart into this young man and wrote a love story on his heart. God made this man for a purpose… He made him for me. He made him for a tribe of young warriors who would watch and learn from him. He made him for countless individuals who would be strengthened and encouraged by a relationship and friendship with him. He put in him a work ethic second to none. He made him a true man’s man, but gave him a heart tender enough not to hide his tears. I love this man with all the fierceness my heart can hold. I love Josh’s birthday because it was the day he was made for me. We had a great day celebrating, starting with 40 Martha White blueberry muffins for breakfast, 40 Home Depot gift cards, then dinner with the family: delicious grilled burgers and 40 cupcakes with candles of course! It was special to have all our kids together, and they all shared “40 Things We Love About Dad.” Love that man of mine.

Such a busy week for us, tons of Giddyup & Whoa signs in the works, delivered a couple of pieces, a few more custom orders going out this week, and an exciting new opportunity: I’ve been invited to participate at the Vintage & Co Semi-Annual Gresham Barn Sale! Anyone in East Texas knows that the Gresham Barn Sale is one of the very best antique and vintage markets in our area. I’m so honored to be a part, and hoping that it is a great partnership for both businesses! Excited to get lots of painting done this week. Check out Vintage & Co. on Instagram and Facebook. Spring sale is coming up April 24-27.

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Busy sign week meant not a lot of progress on the beams….still not giving up. Slow progress is still progress.

This week was an emotionally wrung-out week. Just a lot going on, both out in public with the kids and then wrestling through the personal stuff that’s held in our hearts. Trusting God is a full-time job. We have to actively trust: daily re-aligning our hearts to seek after His. It’s so easy to get in my head and overthink and just give myself over to the anxiety that is always waiting for me. Thank You Lord for Your steadfast love. Even when I am freaking out, You wait for me…Your Word is truly a Lamp unto my feet and a Light unto my path, and I know I’m never alone. And I know Your Plan is good. A lot better than mine.

Big prayers needed for Baby Lucas. He is scheduled for a sedated MRI tomorrow, and another chemo infusion. We are praying for shrinkage/no new disease. Please Jesus, heal this baby boy! And please pray comfort and peace over his family as well. And our dear friend, Jase, now 5 years old and in his 2nd year of treatment for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, has been plagued with unexplained fevers and GI complaints for weeks, bouncing in and out of local and Dallas ERs….will you join us in healing prayers for the Curtis family?

Whatever you are facing this week friends, don’t lose heart. Be brave. Step up. Step out. The sidelines will always be full of onlookers…maybe today it’s your turn to lead.

Thank you for giving thanks with me.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:3-4 NIV

Beams

I am thankful:

~ for an exceptionally well-done chapel performance from Kora and her 3rd grade class, American History Hall of Fame. Each student dressed up as a historical figure and recited a brief speech about their accomplishments, researched by reading their biography. It never ceases to amaze me what talent lies inside our young children – GCS sets a high bar, and the kids invariably RISE TO THE OCCASION! What a great foundation for their future, not only to learn about the men and women who have made this country great, but to be able to stand in front of several hundred people and speak clearly a speech they have written themselves (perhaps with a little help)! AMAZING! Our Kora Jean was Katharine Graham. When she came home with this selection, I’ll admit, I’d never heard of this woman in my life. But thankfully, Kora researched about her, and taught me that in the 60s and 70s Katharine Graham was one of the first female publishers of a major newspaper, the Washington Post. She did such a great job!

~ for tiny cowboy boots. Seriously, is there ANYTHING cuter than tiny cowboy boots? (Tatum calls them her “cow boots,” and demands them “on!” almost every day.

~ for 2 softball and 1 baseball game in the books. The kids and I have had so much fun loading up with our chairs and our dinner and the dog for a good evening of ballgames.

~ for how sensitive children are to the Spirit. It blesses me so much to hear them behind me in the car singing sweetly, “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand…” And then one day this week, I was praying aloud as I was driving, and Tatum piped up, in her trademark. abrupt. sentence. structure, “Mama. Talk. God?”

~ for a fun photo shoot with Carson Grace for a few senior pics.

~ for the next fun step of preparation for next month’s Children’s Cancer Fund Gala: choosing an outfit! Dillard’s is the official wardrobe sponsor of the event, and so there was a mass try-on event in Dallas this weekend. But the wonderful and kind CCF folks wanted to save us a trip, so they arranged for a private try-on session for Sawyer right here at the Dillard’s in Tyler! We had an appointment, 2 personal consultants, and the freedom to choose whatever Sawyer wanted! It was so fun. Now, Mama had to give a little constructive guidance/editing…all my boys have been very drawn to ACCESSORIES, and Sawyer is no different. He picked out a super preppy outfit, some SLAMMIN’ high top sneakers, a fedora, bow tie, AND “SPLENDERS!” It took some convincing to get him to let some accessories go, but we finally worked it out. So looking forward to the Gala and Fashion Show!

~that Gavin didn’t cut his finger OFF when he slammed it in our front door.

~ for the wonderful news that little Georgia got to go home from the hospital this week! There’s still a long road ahead, but today we REJOICE!

~ for a much-needed dinner date with my Love. Life is busy and everything needs our attention…and we come last. It’s just the way it is. But even though we know we are in this season of putting everything else ahead of us…we know our marriage still has to be a priority. We have to make a way. Steal a moment. Hold hands in the car. Sit down for afternoon coffee. So we slipped away for a quick, DELICIOUS meal at a new place for us – The Shell Shack. The seafood was as fresh as if I was sitting at a table on the Coast. Soooooo good! But I don’t care if it’s decadent seafood or a gas station burger, if I’m with my Baby, I’m exactly where I want to be.

So I’m working on this project. This crazy, why-would-you-ever project. We have these awesome rugged exposed beams in our great room. They were one of our favorite features that drew us to this house. But as we’ve settled in and made this home, I kept looking at these beams. They are coated in a heavy brown paint, and I just wondered what they would look like stripped down. So one day, I scraped off one tiny corner. Oh man, the wood was so beautiful! And I knew that lightening the dark beams would transform our entire house. But there’s just no easy way to go about stripping these beams. But I decided to go for it. So I tried natural stripper, chemical stripper, bleach, and broke an orbital sander…finally landing on an electric planer for the (very few) flat surfaces and a 2” blade for hand-scraping the rest. It is messy. And sloooow. (I’ve worked all week and gotten 2 done. I have 7 more to go.)

And it’s so, so hard, absolutely back-breaking. And Tatum K doesn’t like it. (“No. Mama. Loud.”) But the result is absolutely beautiful and exactly what I wanted. And there’s no turning back now. (I mean I guess I could repaint the brown.) It’s a labor of love. Everyone thinks I’m crazy. No one else would touch this project. BUT I HONESTLY DON’T CARE! I’m not giving up! I don’t care how long it takes. I see untapped beauty that’s worth the effort. Jesus saw that in me. He didn’t give up.

~ Never ever give up. The hard is worth it. Your marriage? Don’t give up. Wrestling with addiction? With anger? Don’t give up. Are you the parent of a prodigal? Don’t give up. The work is worth it. God is always working. He works in front of us, He uses us, He shows us His glory. But He also works in secret. He never sleeps or takes a break. He doesn’t tire or grow weary like we do. Under all the layers of dark, there’s BEAUTY. And that’s what He’s after. Yes, we need to cease STRIVING. We need to stop trying to FORCE things to happen in our own strength. But there’s a difference. Cease striving but KEEP BELIEVING.

Just you wait and see these beautiful beams when I’m done with them.

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

Unexpected

I am thankful:

~ last week I forgot to report the wonderful news that my dear friends from Mississippi who had traveled to Dallas for work and then found themselves TRAPPED in the ICU at Children’s Hospital finally got to GO HOME! Ian improved enough to be moved from ICU to the general Oncology floor, and then they had the long tedious wait for ANC to rise enough for docs to feel confident that he was well enough to make the 8 hour drive home. But after a FULL WEEK unexpectedly stuck in an unfamiliar hospital 500 miles away, they made it back safely to the comfort of their home and the rest of their children! So very thankful for Jesus’ healing, for the supernatural grace He gave them to endure the waiting, and for “my” awesome nurses who (no surprise) went out of their way to love on this family and make their stay as comfortable as possible. They are the real life Dream Team folks!!! No nurses better will you find!

~ this week we had the great privilege of celebrating Sophie the Brave’s 4th birthday with “Do More for Soph Day.” I wrestled with it a lot more than I anticipated. It brought up really hard emotions. Spreading unexpected joy and blessings around was sweet, but was sharply contrasted with the very present reality of wishing she was here for her Mama to hold, here to blow out the candles on her cake and be sassy. It took my breath away at times. Sawyer, Tatum K and I had fun picking out little gifts at the store for the ones on our hearts, and we talked about Sophie all day long. Sawyer said, “I’m so glad Sophie is happy with Jesus, but I know her Mama is sad.” He also said he thinks she’s on Jesus’ lap having birthday cake. We made several stops and deliveries, and after picking up kids we did some more! Honestly, that part was exhilarating. I’ve never paid for the order of a car behind me in a drive thru before – now THAT was fun! It was so refreshing to serve. We get tunnel vision, so conditioned to focus on our mindless mundane routines, that we forget there’s a big world out there full of hurting people. I noticed it when I was at the store later in the week during my bi-weekly grocery haul. Tatum K was in the buggy, happily munching her goldfish and blissfully chirping, “Hi friend,” to everyone she saw. But everyone else around us just looked…beaten down. Faces expressionless. Downtrodden. Sleepwalking. Her smile lit up the place. So often that’s the case, if you smile at someone, they are likely to smile back. BUT SOMEBODY HAS TO SMILE FIRST!!! You just never know what someone’s going through. I have had plenty of sleepwalker days. I’ve had many days when I was the one with no smiles to give. But if you find yourself ABLE to be a light…GO AHEAD AND SHINE!

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~ for God giving me an extra measure of grace on Sophie Day to bless one more person: my son. Cooper had a track meet (yes, he does baseball AND track!). I rarely make it to track meets, because they are so long and the events so spread out. And he is always such a great sport about it. But even though we’d already had a full and utterly exhausting day, I knew how much it would mean to him if I was there. The weather was perfect, so I packed up our dinner and chairs and headed to the school. Cooper told me his event would be around 6:45. Of course, he didn’t end up running until 8:30!!! It was the longest 2 hours of all time with my whiny, cranky past-their-bedtime entourage. But he ran, we cheered, and then we headed home (we DID NOT stay for his NEXT race, which ended up being at about 10:25pm). And on my way home, I received this text from Cooper, “Thanks for coming Momma. It really meant a lot. I love you.” That was MY favorite blessing of the day.

~ for Free Cone Day at DQ. Always thankful for those rare unexpected opportunities to come out looking like “Nice Mom.” She doesn’t show up too often.

~ for an unexpected midday knock on the front door. Colton popped in just to say “hi” and have lunch with his mom.

~ so proud of our Sam, who did an outstanding job as ToastMaster in her fourth grade class this week.

~ for two special Giddyup &Whoa signs completed and delivered this week.

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~ thankful to have survived my marathon Friday. Toastmasters at 8 AM, a long-overdue breakfast date with a friend, three back-to-back grocery stores, mountain of groceries loaded in-car-out-of-car-and-put-away, kids picked up from school at 1pm, three dozen cupcakes baked, dinner-on-the-go cooked and packed up, and finally loaded up the Tribe for a softball game at 5. Don’t get me wrong, they were all blessings, every single one. But this mama was WIPED! Almost inevitably, the anxiety monster really assaults when my to-do list is longer than my leg. When I have lots on “my” list to accomplish, it all starts to swarm before my eyes and my mind gets overwhelmed. So as the thoughts raced out of control and fingers of panic began to squeeze my chest, I just reached out to the Lord and begin to pray aloud in the car. It’s not magic, I wasn’t just instantly delivered… but He always gives grace upon grace, and He got me through my day (and even most of my list.)

~ for thrilling news from a dear friend. After a long time of seeking the Lord and waiting, they received a life-changing phone call. They were chosen as adoptive parents, and their new baby was about to be born! Not even knowing if they would bring home a boy or a girl, they hopped on a plane and flew across the country. And that was not the only uncertainty…there is always the chance that the birth mom will change her mind. But God had a plan. And now their dreams of becoming parents have come true…tonight they are home with their baby girl. My heart overflows! Prayers for them as they settle into their new life, and prayers for the unspeakably selfless birth mother who made the hardest choice. Glory to the Lord!

~ for the blessing of hosting a sweet, sweet baby shower at our home with some of my dear sisters. What a blessing to come alongside a family and love like Jesus! That is what my church family is best at!

~ for the surreal blessing of Carson Grace being asked to sing her original song for special music at church. There is no greater blessing than to see your children stepping into their God-ordained gifts.

As I close this longer-than-usual Sunday Gratitude, I hope you’ve made it this far. I ask for continued prayer for Baby Lucas, still in the early stages of his cancer treatment. And this week, a new prayer request. Another GCS family received the unexpected crushing news that their beautiful daughter had a brain tumor. She has had her first surgery, which the doctors consider a success, but the road ahead is long and terrifying. Her name is Georgia, she’s 4 years old, and she is still currently in the Pediatric ICU at Children’s awaiting pathology reports that will dictate the treatment plan. Friends, let’s carry this family boldly to the throne of the Father, and ask for abundance of grace and healing for their precious baby girl. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. Oh how I hate cancer, but oh, how I love Jesus.

Embrace the unexpected, the good and the bad. God is the God of all of it. Unexpected good is treasure. Unexpected bad… well, we are reminded of our need for a Savior, our need for grace, our need for one another.

Thank you for giving thanks with me.

“It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:13-18

Abide

I am thankful…

~ for Carson Grace’s incredible trip to Washington D.C. and for her safe return home. The GCS Senior class packed as much history and culture into 5 days as is humanly possible. From the Smithsonian and the Library of Congress to the Lincoln Memorial; touring the Capital with Texas Representative Louie Gohmert and taking in the priceless artifacts at Museum of the Bible, and then finally ending the trip at Mount Vernon (this is maybe a third of all the places they visited.) Carson Grace came home utterly exhausted, but bursting with a passion for history and a deep appreciation of the significance of the places she had experienced. She said she could literally feel the presence of greatness when she stood where Martin Luther King Jr. had delivered his speech. So thankful she had the opportunity to go on this amazing trip, and for the memories made with her classmates.

Carson Grace and Representative Louie Gohmert

~ for a day spent loving on my sweet baby nephew, Emmett. He is just the yummiest baby, full of toothy grins and giggles. Most of the day was spent protecting him from the aggressive affections of Tatum K. “Baby. Kiss.” “Baby. Toe toes.” “Baby. Talk.” I made the mistake of leaving the room to throw something away, only to hear, “Baby. Hide!” Thankfully, Emmett was only briefly “hiding” in a blanket. But I definitely did not leave them alone even for a moment after that. A baby + Tatum + Bear = quite the combination.

~for the way Sawyer makes me laugh. He got dressed for school one morning and I handed him a lightweight sweatshirt to put on before he went out the door. He gave an approving smile, “Oh yeah! To complete the look.” He is also very excited planning all the funny jokes he’s going to play on people in a few weeks… on “April Tuesday.”

~I love the endearing way I am greeted by Tatum K when I open up the closet door (yes, she still sleeps in the closet). Every morning she meets me with outstretched arms, a furrowed frown, and one word. “Poop.”

~ for SUNSHINE!!! Glorious sunshine!!! It’s been rainy and overcast for so long, the dazzling clear sky took my breath away when I drove the kids to school! Isn’t it incredible the difference the weather can make on our outlook? Breathing in sunshine is just so refreshing! Picnics and walks and playing legos in the driveway. We’ve been soaking up all we can in between the showers.

~for my darling husband. He is so good to me, and he loves to surprise me. I have been pining over one of the latest trends in home decor…a fiddle leaf fig tree. I have gone on and on about those silly trees. And wouldn’t you know it, out of the blue my cute Love showed up with one for me this week! My kids all laughed at how loudly I squealed when I leapt into his arms kissing him!

~ for healing for Sawyer. He had started feeling puny and developed a nasty cough at the end of last week, so I got him in to the pediatrician. Having just gotten over pneumonia, we wanted to be sure it wasn’t coming back. Thankfully, lungs sounded clear, but the doc did discover double ear infections. He is somewhat better, but still has the wretched lingering crud cough.

~ for the continued ripple effects of the wonderful ministry of Lighthouse Family Retreat (LFR). 3 years ago, we met a precious family from Mississippi. Well this week, they had traveled to Dallas for a work trip when their son Ian, still in treatment for leukemia, began to run fever. Mom (Julie) remembered we lived near Dallas, and texted me for a hospital recommendation. I got her the info for Children’s, and shared a few tips about getting fast-tracked directly into an isolation room in the ER. Ian’s fevers persisted and triggered an elevated heart rate and low blood pressure, resulting in him being admitted to the ICU! So scary! And for all this to happen so far from home! But through the connections made at Lighthouse, the Lord provided a tiny glimmer of encouragement and familiarity in the midst of foreign surroundings. I truly believe that is at the very heart of what Lighthouse was created for! To build godly relationships and connect families long after the retreat is over. I will be forever grateful for all the precious families we have met through LFR, and treasure these lifelong relationships. Thankfully, after 2 scary days in the Children’s ICU, Ian’s fevers have come down and he’s been moved to the Oncology Unit. They are waiting for his counts to recover before he can be released. I know they would be most grateful for your prayers.

This has been a spiritually challenging week. Just lots going on, and much to pray about. But I do see already how God is displaying His incomparable mastery at bringing good from what the enemy intended for evil. Josh and I have spent more time in the Word together than we ever have, and we have spent more time on our faces in prayer than we have in a long time. Isn’t that just how it goes? When things are going well, and nothing’s rocking our boat, we don’t always take the time to thank God for that peaceful season, or to remain diligent in seeking Him. We go on autopilot, or operate with a misguided sense of self-reliance. But when stuff starts getting REAL…we are reminded how frail we are, how desperately we need a Savior. We have to abide with Him in the “easy” times and in the hard. Marinate in His Word. This is no great new revelation to any of you I’m sure. But I just know that as for me, I wander. I stall out. I get lazy. I press in, press in hard when it’s storming, then I thank God for the rainbow and move on, relieved to be past the trial. Lord, bind my wandering heart to Thee. Let me always be mindful of my constant need. I love the Tauren Wells song that so beautifully reminds, “On the mountains I will bow my life to the One who set me there. In the valley I will lift my eyes to the One who sees me there. When I’m standing on the mountain, I didn’t get there on my own. When I’m walking through the valley I know I am not alone. You’re God of the hills and valleys…”

I’m excited for Spring Break this week. We started our annual tradition of breakfast dates this morning. I look forward to one-on-one time with each of the children, and they are all a-buzz about where they want to go to eat with Mom. I love that it’s still something they like to do. Other than that, we have no plans. Just to take it easy and soak up some time together. It will take a little time to acclimate to Daylight Savings. My poor kids got dinner at 8pm tonight!

I hope this week finds you well. Let’s love on the people around us, and lift one another up. Thank you for giving thanks with me.

“The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, And in the night His song shall be with me— A prayer to the God of my life.” Psalms 42:8

Don’t Stop Praying

I am thankful…

~ for Bear. He’s such a great dog. He’s been a relatively easy puppy, very smart and learning quickly. My favorite is how he and Tatum K love each other. They greet each other each morning with enthusiastic kisses, and just roll all over the floor together. I’m blown away that Bear clearly recognizes and respects the difference between Tatum and the other children…he is so much more gentle and tender with her, and puts up with her squeezing him and over-loving him. I can tell they are going to be best friends. Love to have him riding along in the bus to and from school. He MAY be just the SLIGHTEST bit spoiled.

~ for my latest favorite salad recipe: crunchy chickpeas, juicy tomatoes, and creamy avocados tossed with green onions, cilantro, lime, and olive oil! It is so tasty!

~ for a fun, albeit chilly first baseball game of the season for Cooper. He had a great game, and was stealing bases left and right! Great start to the season!

~ for a great tournament for Carson Grace’s softball team. They traveled to Frisco and won 2 out of 3 games. We couldn’t make it to watch, but I was super thankful for the ability to follow the game live via an app on my phone!

~ for my awesome rockstar husband, who was a pacer with Uncle Caleb for the Fresh 15K yesterday morning. The kids and I loaded up the bus to cheer for him, and after an hour of driving in circles and backtracking around the blocked off streets along the race route, we FINALLY found a place to park and walked A MILE IN THE RAIN, arriving at the Finish Line: 5 minutes before they crossed!!!!! So proud of Josh, who nailed his goal pace, and persevered through the challenging course despite back and knee injuries.

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~ for another rockstar: our friend Mason who kicked leukemia’s butt and took his very last dose of chemo last week. Mason is a brave boy who overcame trial after trial and side effect after side effect. And his family never lost heart or let go of their faith. Such a joy to celebrate these milestones.

~ for Sawyer’s tender heart during worship. Today at church, unprompted, he began to raise his hands. He sang along, and swayed back and forth with his hands in the air. Then, he abruptly got down on his knees in the aisle of the church, bowing his face to the floor of until worship was over. It was priceless. Maybe he was pretending, or copying what he sees others do. Who knows. It doesn’t matter. I know the Lord sees his innocent little heart inclined to Him and is pleased. I asked Sawyer afterward, and he said simply, “I wanted to make God happy.”

~ I WAS super excited to share a project that I have been painstakingly working on all week, stripping a unique old end table we’ve had for years. It had an outdated dark stain that I stripped, planed, sanded, and then bleached to get to a far lighter, almost driftwood look. Turned out great. Unfortunately, I guess all the motion and commotion didn’t agree with it, because the day after I moved the completed table into the house and got it all staged cute, all of a sudden, the beautiful glass base of the table shattered! SO SAD! But times like these make me extra thankful for my junker’s heart, because we always have random table bases tucked away somewhere, and Josh got it all fixed up. I sure was bummed about that awesome glass base though.

~ and I’m so excited for Carson Grace on her latest adventure. She is currently in Washington DC with her senior class for the week. I dropped her at the school at 2am, they flew out of Dallas at 7, and hit the ground running in DC taking in the sites. Praying for the students to have a safe and phenomenal trip, one of the last events they’ll go through together before graduation. Man, I miss that girl.

My heart has been heavy this week. So many people I love are hurting, weighted down by some tremendous burdens. And I can’t do one thing. There’s no answer, no fix, no remedy. I mean, of course, Jesus is the remedy. If we know Him, we know that. But when the people we love hurt, we hurt. There’s just no way to take that away. But we can do the only thing we can do…we pray. We reach out. We remember. And don’t stop praying, and reaching out, and remembering. We don’t have to have perfect poetic words of encouragement that no one has ever said before. Or come up with THE ONE SCRIPTURE that is going to enlighten the situation and give a fresh perspective and change everything. That’s God’s department. He’s the One in the miracle department. Keep praying for your friends, friends. He listens. Prayer changes things, and it changes us. Don’t lose heart. I know you have been praying for Baby Lucas – don’t stop! My pastor friend received his heavenly healing…he is with Jesus now, right where he wanted to be. But please keep praying for his family and his church. And please add another this week. Brian is my friend’s husband, and his family is eagerly waiting for him to wake up from emergency heart surgery several weeks ago. You can keep up with the updates here www.caringbridge.org/visit/brianwilhoite

Keep praying and looking for the blessings around you, and let’s lift one another day by day a step closer to the Throne. Maybe I’ll be strong for you today, and then you’ll be strong for me tomorrow. And God is always working, even when we cannot see. And be kinder than you think you have to be. You never know what someone is walking through. Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

The Plague

I am thankful…

~ for such a SWEET start to the week: No School + International Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day! The kids were thrilled to devour a delicious treat for breakfast, and Sawyer prayed the most sincere prayer for all his friends who have or are battling cancer around the world. I had the best time compiling the photos I received from all over, from so many of you who played along. Even though this year Gold Network didn’t hold a physical event, I was thrilled with the participation and the awareness raised. Thank you so much to all the schools, businesses, and families who honored childhood cancer heroes on Monday.

Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day…the calm before the storm. (I just noticed the Lysol in the background…a menacing foreshadowing…)

OUR WEEK WENT DOWNHILL AFTER BREAKFAST.

9am: First Tatum K refused her ice cream. Highly unusual, as all forms of dessert are heralded by her as a form of “PIE!” But I quickly understood as my poor little muffin started vomiting in my lap. She was weak and puny, and I spent the day with her in my arms. The rest of the Tribe helped clean house, we sanitized, Lysoled, etc.

4:55pm: Anonymous Child #2 says, “My tummy hurts.” I ask if they need to throw up? “No.” Use the restroom? “Already did.” So I advise Child #2 to go lay down and rest. But to take a bowl with them in case a different stomach ailment should arise.

4:57pm: Anonymous Child #2 gets bowl from kitchen and promptly throws up into it.

4:58pm: Aggressive Lysol patrol and hand re-washing begins.

Tuesday 7am: Symptom check, everyone seems fine. Kids head to school, minus Child #2.

7:30am: Mom doesn’t feel so good.

7:45am: Yup. Mom is MOST DEFINITELY sick.

Moms don’t get sick. Moms CAN’T GET SICK. The sick kids still need tending, nurturing, doctoring. And the well kids are still… well, kids! Laundry and homework still has to get done and food still has to be prepared. I don’t remember much about Tuesday. Mostly that it was bad. I do have a dim recollection of driving to school with a bowl in my lap, praying I would not have to use it. On a positive note, no new ones appeared sick, and Tatum K seemed to be feeling FABULOUS. Anonymous Child #2 felt great all day, only to throw up again at 4pm, thereby earning another 24 hours home from school.

Wednesday: so the thing about Wednesday….it was my birthday. My family was so sweet. They got me a beautiful new hammock I’d been wanting, and they had all written precious handwritten notes. I got lots of thoughtful calls, texts, and emails, even a gift left on my doorstep! Josh brought home lunch, and Colton popped in with a gift of Golden Grahams cereal and hazelnut coffee creamer (isn’t it funny the random details kids notice/remember about what we like?). It would’ve been a great day if I hadn’t felt like a wrung-out dishrag. And Tatum was suddenly puny again, refusing to eat anything, and presented with gastrointestinal symptoms that had now migrated from the “north” to the “south.”

Thursday: Everyone seems to be feeling GOOD! Even Tatum K, although she’s still having some “symptoms” and no appetite. We do another round of disinfection, and count our blessings that we’ve made it through the bug, virtually unscathed.

Friday, I was finally feeling ALMOST back to normal, and crammed all my grocery shopping in before the torrential rain began at noon (no small feat, as I shop 3 different stores for 2 weeks’ worth of menus…most notably the 10 gallons of milk and as many loaves of bread.) Friday was a big night: Cooper and his 8th grade choir class have been preparing their musical production, “The Big Bad Musical,” for weeks, and Cooper was one of the lead roles (Title Character, Big “B” Wolf, in fact!). We were all thankful to be well and able to attend. And let me say, completely unbiased of course: the show was TERRIFIC!!!! The cast played their parts perfectly, the script and their interpretations were hilarious, and Cooper was amazing! He had two solo songs, and we were all so proud! It was such a fun night! Unfortunately, Dad started feeling sick that evening (no symptoms) and Anonymous Child#3 threw up in the middle of the night. Sigh.

Saturday: Purchased more Lysol. Cleaned house from top to bottom. Dad and Child #3 feel like garbage. I attend Cooper’s final matinée performance of “The Big Bad Musical,” and it was even better the second time! So proud of him!!! And SOOOOO THANKFUL that he didn’t get sick! (I was secretly so worried about that and prayed over it CONSTANTLY. THANK YOU JESUS!) AND (so far, PLEASE-JESUS-PLEASE) neither did Sawyer! That has literally never happened! Sawyer has caught absolutely every bug he has been exposed to by his siblings (or classmates) for the last 2 years, UNTIL NOW! Glory to the Lord, his immune system is finally rebuilding! And Tatum K is FINALLY back to normal in all capacities. Last night, we had a quiet evening at home, staring into nothingness, completely ZAPPED.

I’m so thankful for the grace that God gives me for everyday living. Even when I whine and complain. Grace for teenage mood swings and not-always-charming life lessons, grace for puppy training and vomit bowls, breath by breath grace for the lifelong journey we have in front of us with our Tribe. And grace to enjoy the bright spots in the midst of the mayhem! Sure, we had the stomach bug over and over, but people were kind on my birthday, Cooper’s musical was a resounding success, and I had lots of warm moments with my kids. We went on walks, read our bedtime book, and tonight Dad is cooking a feast for us on the grill. There is always, always, ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

I have friends in need of prayer, and I know I can come to you to lift them up. A dear pastor friend who has been battling cancer and doing AMAZING has taken a sudden and dramatic turn for the worse. Please pray for him, for his loving wife, and for his congregation who love them both so dearly, for God’s glory and purpose to shine forth in the midst of pain. And then today I received news of a newly diagnosed baby with cancer. Of course this is always devastating news, but this one hurts on a uniquely grievous level: this dear child’s Mama is one of our incredible oncology nurses at Children’s. For years, Kelly has unflinchingly stared childhood cancer in the face. She has been strong for us, and lovingly cared for our children, and has seen some of the darkest moments that no one should ever have to see. But all that time she never dreamed she would walk through OUR UNTHINKABLE HELL with her own baby. Will you please pray for Baby Lucas and his family? You can follow their updates here. https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/hookemforlucas or here https://helpinghandsawo.org/projects/hook-em-for-lucas/

I’m so very thankful for this community of friends: most of you I know, some I’ve never even met. But you are my people. Thank you for reading, thank you for caring, thank you for praying. And thank you for giving thanks with me.

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“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV

Sweet

I am thankful for a full week of fun…

~ for a great week for Tatum K. She likes all these birthdays and parties and holidays for one important reason: CAKE! If you’ve seen my Instagram, you have seen her insistent chanting: “Cake! Cake! Cake! Pie! Pie! Pie!” There is no denying her love of sweets, and she was one happy girl to get to indulge this week!

~ for Gavin’s 2nd grade class chapel program, celebrating that the Bible is God’s Valentine to His children. Such a sweet message, and the kids did such a great job.

~ for a dear friend’s good news that made my heart sing.

~ for excitement for Cooper – thrilled that he made the A team for Jr High baseball! He started practice last week, and games will commence soon. Carson Grace is enjoying playing on the Varsity Softball team. Come on SPRING!!!

~ for new signs completed for Giddyup and Whoa. Bear and Tatum K both got to be sign models.

~ for two special back-to-back birthdays. Kora turned 10 on the 13th and Gavin turned 9 on the 14th (Gaventime’s Day!). Yep. 366 days apart! These two are used to sharing birthday celebrations, and Gavin knows his birthday is going to be red and pink every year until eternity. They are great sports about it, and we do our best to make their individual days special for each of them. We feasted on box macaroni and cheese and pizza and pink and blue cupcakes.

~ Miss Kora had no reservations about what she wanted for her birthday: pierced ears! She marched right in and hopped up in the chair! She made some pretty intense, horrified faces during the piercing, but she was super-duper brave! So pretty!

~ for surviving the epic amounts of sugar consumed by my household this week: from “special birthday breakfasts” to class birthday treats, birthday cupcakes, ON TOP OF class Valentine’s Day parties. It was a high-fructose corn syrup and Red 40 flavored week. We may be doing a cleanse these next few days!

~ for the single-most highly anticipated evening of the year: the Father-Daughter Banquet/Dance at Tyler Christian Fellowship. There is nothing that thrills my girls more than to hear the doorbell ring and open it to find their beloved Daddy with roses in his hand to offer to each one of his beautiful girls. They all dressed in their finest, and they dined, they danced their little tails off, and each one of them soaked up how much they are loved by their Daddy. Even Carson Grace cherishes this time. I love that this is a memory they will always treasure. This year I had a really great time with Tatum K (too young to attend) and my boys. We cooked some tasty nachos and watched a movie. But the highlight of the evening was playing Pie in the Face! We all got “pied,” even mom, much to the boys’ delight. Lord, help me to relax and have fun with my kids. They really are so easy to please….all they want is time and some good laughs. And sometimes it really is as simple as a fistful of whipped cream smeared on my face.

~ for a special time of fellowship and sharing after church. Leadership hosted a lunch for new visitors, with a tasty meal and encouraging testimonies from people in the Body. Love the opportunity to get to meet, welcome, and encourage new families.

It’s been a good, full week. Plenty of hard, but also plenty of sweet moments. I think that’s just where we are in life. I think it’s always going to be some flavor of hard. Large family life is uniquely challenging. Adoptive family dynamics are complicated. Life after cancer is ugly hard. But God is just so faithful. His Word reminds me of His new mercies. His Spirit comforts mine and reminds me that no matter what I feel like, I’m never ever alone. And Jesus meets me: in my brokenness, in my joy, in the moments when I feel like an utter failure, and in those fleeting moments when I breathe a sigh of relief that I finally got something right. We serve a God of second chances! Hallelujah! He never gives up on us, and I’m so thankful. And while my loving Father never ceases to extend grace to me, I also need to DO MY PART! It’s my responsibility to get into the Word and seek Him. My flesh is never going to feel like praising Him. But I have to do it anyway. And I know that He will meet me.

Tomorrow is a very special day that you may not know about…February 18 is International Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day! It’s a special day set aside to support children who are fighting or who have fought cancer. Gold Network of East Texas is encouraging people to eat ice cream for breakfast and post pictures on social media, with a caption in support of kids with cancer. You can participate by posting a picture on Facebook or Instagram, tag @goldnetworkofeasttx and @eaticecreamforbreakfastday, and tell us who you are eating for. If social media isn’t your thing, just dish up a sweet treat and say a prayer for the kids. You can even email me a picture at info@goldnetworkoet.com. Our family will be eating ice cream for Sawyer. And Eric. And Olivia. And Sophie, Brock, Jase, Liam, Michael, Izzy, Bristell, Hudson, Addie Leigh, Anna Luisa, Kaitlyn, Abigail, David, Ceely, Parker, Emerson, and all the other children whom we have met in person or online, and kids around the world. No child should ever have to fight cancer. But for now, we can eat ice cream. And we pray.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”” Jeremiah 29:12-14

January 20, 2019

fullsizeoutput_9600 — Brave #SawyerTheWarrior

~ Thankful for a much-needed, long-overdue evening out with my Love. We started with a stop at Lowes, (doesn’t everyone?) and then a delicious meal at FD’s. Finishing the tile floor nearly killed us both, so it was the perfect way to end his week of vacation.

~ for the warmth and comfort from a crackling fire. I love cozy mornings snuggled up in the dark with my Bible, or painting beside it in the afternoon.

~ for impromptu hugs from my little people, and “I love you Mama” for no reason at all.

~ for a fun night for Carson Grace at Winter Formal. Thankful for sweet friends.

~ for a wonderful refreshing at our newly reinstated mid-week church service. Intimate worship, spirit-led prayer…it was such a blessed way to refuel our hearts with our church body. And I loved experiencing it together as a family. On Sundays, we worship together and then the Littles head off to their classes. In this service, we were all together (all but 2 youngest). No electronics, no coloring pages, no “you-keep-busy-so-mom-and-dad-can-listen.” At ages 7-17, they are all old enough to take in the Word of God for themselves. And pray with adults. Who knows how much they actually listen or understand, but I just truly believe seeds are being planted. I’m excited to see them grow into who God has made them each to be.

~ for Sawyer’s wonderful Clinic visit on Thursday! CANCER-FREE!!! Glory to the LORD! Josh and I are always freshly amazed that Sawyer is doing so well. And it is such a blessing to see others see him as a miracle, too. The doctors scarcely know what to think. It’s my favorite to see Dr. Winick’s eyes shine as she listens to him tell her stories about his family or about school, and be genuinely thrilled with a picture he has made for her. I’ve recently heard of so many of Sawyer’s “friends” specifically those that I’ve met through the online Infant Leukemia community: kids who have dramatic speech delays due to underdeveloped mouth and facial muscles from being fed through a tube for years instead of learning to eat by mouth. Kids with social anxiety from being kept on isolation and never learning to interact with other kids. Cancer in an infant can cause so many issues, with the disease and treatment occurring during the most formative months and years of brain development. BUT GOD! Sawyer has faced so many traumas, yet the Lord has chosen to show healing mercies here on earth. I will never understand why Sawyer is doing so well, when things could be so very different. And have turned out so very different for people who I love. But we just have to choose every day to trust that Our Good Good Father knows what He is doing, and that His plan supersedes our instincts on every level. And keep praying and praising.

~ for good laughs. Near the end of his appointment, Sawyer said to Dr. Winick, giggling, “I know what comes next… you’re going to check my business.” (Each visit includes inspecting his testicles – “business” – for any irregularities. Infant leukemia has a high rate of relapse in boys as testicular cancer.) Then he looked over at Gina, and said dryly, “you might not want to yook at this Aunt Gina. That would be inappropriate.“

After we returned safely home on Thursday, I was astonished to realize it was EXACTLY TWO YEARS since Sawyer’s treatment ended (thankful to have all my Caringbridge entries to look back on!). We didn’t have the long-awaited celebration marking his very last chemo. Instead, he was riddled with multiple infections and unexplained fevers, even requiring blood transfusions. He was getting weaker instead of better. So on January 17, 2017, the oncology team abruptly discontinued his chemo at his Clinic appointment. Very anticlimactic. And unnerving. That day, just 3 hours after returning home from Dallas that afternoon, he spiked a fever and we were right back to be admitted to the hospital. It was such a terrifying time, to see him so sick when we were supposed to be celebrating. BUT GOD! I never could have imagined him two years later: an active, vibrant, healthy, and THRIVING 5-year-old! A living, breathing picture of HOPE! Glory to the Lord!!!

Thankful for a good week. Thank you for giving thanks with me!

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!” Psalms 27:13-14

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Carson Grace and her friend, Kellen, at GCS Winter Formal