April Tuesday

I am thankful:

~for the most fun “April Tuesday” ever! Sawyer has talked about his plans for “jokes” for weeks now. And on last Sunday, on March 31, he was so excited he couldn’t even sleep. He kept getting out of bed telling me another funny idea he had. I got so tickled. So even though we’ve never done anything for April Fools’ Day before, I knew I had to step up my game. I did a little prep work that night…actually staying up until 1 in the morning, hiding a pickle slice in each of their pb&j sandwiches. The kids were greeted at breakfast with their bowls of cereal…only to dig in and discovered that it was FROZEN in the milk. Their puzzled faces were priceless! Sawyer’s dream came true of delivering a special “cake” for his teacher, and had him giggling all the way to school. I do fear that his class did not appreciate the humor. They were pretty stoked about eating cake, and mighty disappointed to find out it was actually a frosted cardboard cereal box. Thankfully, Mrs. Youngblood saved the day by allowing them to drag their fingers through the icing, so Sawyer didn’t lose all his friends that day.

~ for a great baseball/softball/track week. Enjoyed the sunshine with Bear and the kids, eating popcorn, making daisy chains, and cheering on the Cougars.

~for lunch with a friend. There is something so special about sitting down and breaking bread together. Even when sometimes the conversation is heavy, or the topic isn’t fun, the sharing of hearts side by side is priceless. What a blessing to have brothers and sisters in Christ to love us through all seasons, and to pray for one another as we seek God’s best for our families.

~ for teachers who really love my kids. And are willing to come along side so that they can reach their potential.

~for the bright, cheerful azaleas displaying their finery across our city.

~ for a call I have been waiting for almost as long as I can remember. A call to tell me that my sweet friends are going to have a baby! Born not of her tummy, but born in her heart, this precious couple has been chosen by a birth mom to be the parents of a baby boy due in June. They traveled many hours to meet birth mom this weekend, and they are asking for prayers for God’s grace over every step of this journey: for a healthy remainder of the pregnancy, and most of all prayer for this birth mom who is giving the most unselfish gift of love to this baby. Father God has seen my friends, has seen this birth mom, and has collected every silent tear they have cried in the dark. And His timing is always right on time. Oh the joy that can’t be contained!!!! GLORY TO THE LORD!

~for the blessing of attending chapel, the very last time Carson Grace will lead worship with her peers in high school. All these “lasts“ are so bittersweet. I’m so proud of her, and so excited for all that lies ahead, but it’s so hard to let go. Later in the week, she had the amazing honor of presenting the National Anthem at the 28th Annual Tyler Firefighters Awards Banquet. It was a wonderful program, with moments of storytelling and laughter between comrades while handing out awards and door prizes, and weighted somber moments of as we were reminded of the life and death experiences they face almost every day. So thankful for the dedication and bravery of these true American heroes.

~ for new friendships. This week Josh and I got to visit with Phil and Kathy Jimerson, fellow Carthagites, and former classmates of Susan K. Kathy has recently published a book, a personal memoir written by an encourager and storyteller over the last 2 decades of her life. And she gifted us a copy! Over coffee we chatted about cancer and writing, about remodeling and about Jesus. Our kindred hearts quickly knit. You can find Kathy’s book here. I’m so excited to read it!

~ for Cooper having an awesome weekend on the Grace Student Miniseries Overdrive Retreat.

~ for a cool photo shoot with Carson Grace at our local vintage record store.

40 years ago on this day, God made a man for me. He put a loving, fighting heart into this young man and wrote a love story on his heart. God made this man for a purpose… He made him for me. He made him for a tribe of young warriors who would watch and learn from him. He made him for countless individuals who would be strengthened and encouraged by a relationship and friendship with him. He put in him a work ethic second to none. He made him a true man’s man, but gave him a heart tender enough not to hide his tears. I love this man with all the fierceness my heart can hold. I love Josh’s birthday because it was the day he was made for me. We had a great day celebrating, starting with 40 Martha White blueberry muffins for breakfast, 40 Home Depot gift cards, then dinner with the family: delicious grilled burgers and 40 cupcakes with candles of course! It was special to have all our kids together, and they all shared “40 Things We Love About Dad.” Love that man of mine.

Such a busy week for us, tons of Giddyup & Whoa signs in the works, delivered a couple of pieces, a few more custom orders going out this week, and an exciting new opportunity: I’ve been invited to participate at the Vintage & Co Semi-Annual Gresham Barn Sale! Anyone in East Texas knows that the Gresham Barn Sale is one of the very best antique and vintage markets in our area. I’m so honored to be a part, and hoping that it is a great partnership for both businesses! Excited to get lots of painting done this week. Check out Vintage & Co. on Instagram and Facebook. Spring sale is coming up April 24-27.

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Busy sign week meant not a lot of progress on the beams….still not giving up. Slow progress is still progress.

This week was an emotionally wrung-out week. Just a lot going on, both out in public with the kids and then wrestling through the personal stuff that’s held in our hearts. Trusting God is a full-time job. We have to actively trust: daily re-aligning our hearts to seek after His. It’s so easy to get in my head and overthink and just give myself over to the anxiety that is always waiting for me. Thank You Lord for Your steadfast love. Even when I am freaking out, You wait for me…Your Word is truly a Lamp unto my feet and a Light unto my path, and I know I’m never alone. And I know Your Plan is good. A lot better than mine.

Big prayers needed for Baby Lucas. He is scheduled for a sedated MRI tomorrow, and another chemo infusion. We are praying for shrinkage/no new disease. Please Jesus, heal this baby boy! And please pray comfort and peace over his family as well. And our dear friend, Jase, now 5 years old and in his 2nd year of treatment for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, has been plagued with unexplained fevers and GI complaints for weeks, bouncing in and out of local and Dallas ERs….will you join us in healing prayers for the Curtis family?

Whatever you are facing this week friends, don’t lose heart. Be brave. Step up. Step out. The sidelines will always be full of onlookers…maybe today it’s your turn to lead.

Thank you for giving thanks with me.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:3-4 NIV

Unexpected

I am thankful:

~ last week I forgot to report the wonderful news that my dear friends from Mississippi who had traveled to Dallas for work and then found themselves TRAPPED in the ICU at Children’s Hospital finally got to GO HOME! Ian improved enough to be moved from ICU to the general Oncology floor, and then they had the long tedious wait for ANC to rise enough for docs to feel confident that he was well enough to make the 8 hour drive home. But after a FULL WEEK unexpectedly stuck in an unfamiliar hospital 500 miles away, they made it back safely to the comfort of their home and the rest of their children! So very thankful for Jesus’ healing, for the supernatural grace He gave them to endure the waiting, and for “my” awesome nurses who (no surprise) went out of their way to love on this family and make their stay as comfortable as possible. They are the real life Dream Team folks!!! No nurses better will you find!

~ this week we had the great privilege of celebrating Sophie the Brave’s 4th birthday with “Do More for Soph Day.” I wrestled with it a lot more than I anticipated. It brought up really hard emotions. Spreading unexpected joy and blessings around was sweet, but was sharply contrasted with the very present reality of wishing she was here for her Mama to hold, here to blow out the candles on her cake and be sassy. It took my breath away at times. Sawyer, Tatum K and I had fun picking out little gifts at the store for the ones on our hearts, and we talked about Sophie all day long. Sawyer said, “I’m so glad Sophie is happy with Jesus, but I know her Mama is sad.” He also said he thinks she’s on Jesus’ lap having birthday cake. We made several stops and deliveries, and after picking up kids we did some more! Honestly, that part was exhilarating. I’ve never paid for the order of a car behind me in a drive thru before – now THAT was fun! It was so refreshing to serve. We get tunnel vision, so conditioned to focus on our mindless mundane routines, that we forget there’s a big world out there full of hurting people. I noticed it when I was at the store later in the week during my bi-weekly grocery haul. Tatum K was in the buggy, happily munching her goldfish and blissfully chirping, “Hi friend,” to everyone she saw. But everyone else around us just looked…beaten down. Faces expressionless. Downtrodden. Sleepwalking. Her smile lit up the place. So often that’s the case, if you smile at someone, they are likely to smile back. BUT SOMEBODY HAS TO SMILE FIRST!!! You just never know what someone’s going through. I have had plenty of sleepwalker days. I’ve had many days when I was the one with no smiles to give. But if you find yourself ABLE to be a light…GO AHEAD AND SHINE!

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~ for God giving me an extra measure of grace on Sophie Day to bless one more person: my son. Cooper had a track meet (yes, he does baseball AND track!). I rarely make it to track meets, because they are so long and the events so spread out. And he is always such a great sport about it. But even though we’d already had a full and utterly exhausting day, I knew how much it would mean to him if I was there. The weather was perfect, so I packed up our dinner and chairs and headed to the school. Cooper told me his event would be around 6:45. Of course, he didn’t end up running until 8:30!!! It was the longest 2 hours of all time with my whiny, cranky past-their-bedtime entourage. But he ran, we cheered, and then we headed home (we DID NOT stay for his NEXT race, which ended up being at about 10:25pm). And on my way home, I received this text from Cooper, “Thanks for coming Momma. It really meant a lot. I love you.” That was MY favorite blessing of the day.

~ for Free Cone Day at DQ. Always thankful for those rare unexpected opportunities to come out looking like “Nice Mom.” She doesn’t show up too often.

~ for an unexpected midday knock on the front door. Colton popped in just to say “hi” and have lunch with his mom.

~ so proud of our Sam, who did an outstanding job as ToastMaster in her fourth grade class this week.

~ for two special Giddyup &Whoa signs completed and delivered this week.

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~ thankful to have survived my marathon Friday. Toastmasters at 8 AM, a long-overdue breakfast date with a friend, three back-to-back grocery stores, mountain of groceries loaded in-car-out-of-car-and-put-away, kids picked up from school at 1pm, three dozen cupcakes baked, dinner-on-the-go cooked and packed up, and finally loaded up the Tribe for a softball game at 5. Don’t get me wrong, they were all blessings, every single one. But this mama was WIPED! Almost inevitably, the anxiety monster really assaults when my to-do list is longer than my leg. When I have lots on “my” list to accomplish, it all starts to swarm before my eyes and my mind gets overwhelmed. So as the thoughts raced out of control and fingers of panic began to squeeze my chest, I just reached out to the Lord and begin to pray aloud in the car. It’s not magic, I wasn’t just instantly delivered… but He always gives grace upon grace, and He got me through my day (and even most of my list.)

~ for thrilling news from a dear friend. After a long time of seeking the Lord and waiting, they received a life-changing phone call. They were chosen as adoptive parents, and their new baby was about to be born! Not even knowing if they would bring home a boy or a girl, they hopped on a plane and flew across the country. And that was not the only uncertainty…there is always the chance that the birth mom will change her mind. But God had a plan. And now their dreams of becoming parents have come true…tonight they are home with their baby girl. My heart overflows! Prayers for them as they settle into their new life, and prayers for the unspeakably selfless birth mother who made the hardest choice. Glory to the Lord!

~ for the blessing of hosting a sweet, sweet baby shower at our home with some of my dear sisters. What a blessing to come alongside a family and love like Jesus! That is what my church family is best at!

~ for the surreal blessing of Carson Grace being asked to sing her original song for special music at church. There is no greater blessing than to see your children stepping into their God-ordained gifts.

As I close this longer-than-usual Sunday Gratitude, I hope you’ve made it this far. I ask for continued prayer for Baby Lucas, still in the early stages of his cancer treatment. And this week, a new prayer request. Another GCS family received the unexpected crushing news that their beautiful daughter had a brain tumor. She has had her first surgery, which the doctors consider a success, but the road ahead is long and terrifying. Her name is Georgia, she’s 4 years old, and she is still currently in the Pediatric ICU at Children’s awaiting pathology reports that will dictate the treatment plan. Friends, let’s carry this family boldly to the throne of the Father, and ask for abundance of grace and healing for their precious baby girl. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. Oh how I hate cancer, but oh, how I love Jesus.

Embrace the unexpected, the good and the bad. God is the God of all of it. Unexpected good is treasure. Unexpected bad… well, we are reminded of our need for a Savior, our need for grace, our need for one another.

Thank you for giving thanks with me.

“It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:13-18

Abide

I am thankful…

~ for Carson Grace’s incredible trip to Washington D.C. and for her safe return home. The GCS Senior class packed as much history and culture into 5 days as is humanly possible. From the Smithsonian and the Library of Congress to the Lincoln Memorial; touring the Capital with Texas Representative Louie Gohmert and taking in the priceless artifacts at Museum of the Bible, and then finally ending the trip at Mount Vernon (this is maybe a third of all the places they visited.) Carson Grace came home utterly exhausted, but bursting with a passion for history and a deep appreciation of the significance of the places she had experienced. She said she could literally feel the presence of greatness when she stood where Martin Luther King Jr. had delivered his speech. So thankful she had the opportunity to go on this amazing trip, and for the memories made with her classmates.

Carson Grace and Representative Louie Gohmert

~ for a day spent loving on my sweet baby nephew, Emmett. He is just the yummiest baby, full of toothy grins and giggles. Most of the day was spent protecting him from the aggressive affections of Tatum K. “Baby. Kiss.” “Baby. Toe toes.” “Baby. Talk.” I made the mistake of leaving the room to throw something away, only to hear, “Baby. Hide!” Thankfully, Emmett was only briefly “hiding” in a blanket. But I definitely did not leave them alone even for a moment after that. A baby + Tatum + Bear = quite the combination.

~for the way Sawyer makes me laugh. He got dressed for school one morning and I handed him a lightweight sweatshirt to put on before he went out the door. He gave an approving smile, “Oh yeah! To complete the look.” He is also very excited planning all the funny jokes he’s going to play on people in a few weeks… on “April Tuesday.”

~I love the endearing way I am greeted by Tatum K when I open up the closet door (yes, she still sleeps in the closet). Every morning she meets me with outstretched arms, a furrowed frown, and one word. “Poop.”

~ for SUNSHINE!!! Glorious sunshine!!! It’s been rainy and overcast for so long, the dazzling clear sky took my breath away when I drove the kids to school! Isn’t it incredible the difference the weather can make on our outlook? Breathing in sunshine is just so refreshing! Picnics and walks and playing legos in the driveway. We’ve been soaking up all we can in between the showers.

~for my darling husband. He is so good to me, and he loves to surprise me. I have been pining over one of the latest trends in home decor…a fiddle leaf fig tree. I have gone on and on about those silly trees. And wouldn’t you know it, out of the blue my cute Love showed up with one for me this week! My kids all laughed at how loudly I squealed when I leapt into his arms kissing him!

~ for healing for Sawyer. He had started feeling puny and developed a nasty cough at the end of last week, so I got him in to the pediatrician. Having just gotten over pneumonia, we wanted to be sure it wasn’t coming back. Thankfully, lungs sounded clear, but the doc did discover double ear infections. He is somewhat better, but still has the wretched lingering crud cough.

~ for the continued ripple effects of the wonderful ministry of Lighthouse Family Retreat (LFR). 3 years ago, we met a precious family from Mississippi. Well this week, they had traveled to Dallas for a work trip when their son Ian, still in treatment for leukemia, began to run fever. Mom (Julie) remembered we lived near Dallas, and texted me for a hospital recommendation. I got her the info for Children’s, and shared a few tips about getting fast-tracked directly into an isolation room in the ER. Ian’s fevers persisted and triggered an elevated heart rate and low blood pressure, resulting in him being admitted to the ICU! So scary! And for all this to happen so far from home! But through the connections made at Lighthouse, the Lord provided a tiny glimmer of encouragement and familiarity in the midst of foreign surroundings. I truly believe that is at the very heart of what Lighthouse was created for! To build godly relationships and connect families long after the retreat is over. I will be forever grateful for all the precious families we have met through LFR, and treasure these lifelong relationships. Thankfully, after 2 scary days in the Children’s ICU, Ian’s fevers have come down and he’s been moved to the Oncology Unit. They are waiting for his counts to recover before he can be released. I know they would be most grateful for your prayers.

This has been a spiritually challenging week. Just lots going on, and much to pray about. But I do see already how God is displaying His incomparable mastery at bringing good from what the enemy intended for evil. Josh and I have spent more time in the Word together than we ever have, and we have spent more time on our faces in prayer than we have in a long time. Isn’t that just how it goes? When things are going well, and nothing’s rocking our boat, we don’t always take the time to thank God for that peaceful season, or to remain diligent in seeking Him. We go on autopilot, or operate with a misguided sense of self-reliance. But when stuff starts getting REAL…we are reminded how frail we are, how desperately we need a Savior. We have to abide with Him in the “easy” times and in the hard. Marinate in His Word. This is no great new revelation to any of you I’m sure. But I just know that as for me, I wander. I stall out. I get lazy. I press in, press in hard when it’s storming, then I thank God for the rainbow and move on, relieved to be past the trial. Lord, bind my wandering heart to Thee. Let me always be mindful of my constant need. I love the Tauren Wells song that so beautifully reminds, “On the mountains I will bow my life to the One who set me there. In the valley I will lift my eyes to the One who sees me there. When I’m standing on the mountain, I didn’t get there on my own. When I’m walking through the valley I know I am not alone. You’re God of the hills and valleys…”

I’m excited for Spring Break this week. We started our annual tradition of breakfast dates this morning. I look forward to one-on-one time with each of the children, and they are all a-buzz about where they want to go to eat with Mom. I love that it’s still something they like to do. Other than that, we have no plans. Just to take it easy and soak up some time together. It will take a little time to acclimate to Daylight Savings. My poor kids got dinner at 8pm tonight!

I hope this week finds you well. Let’s love on the people around us, and lift one another up. Thank you for giving thanks with me.

“The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, And in the night His song shall be with me— A prayer to the God of my life.” Psalms 42:8

January 20, 2019

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~ Thankful for a much-needed, long-overdue evening out with my Love. We started with a stop at Lowes, (doesn’t everyone?) and then a delicious meal at FD’s. Finishing the tile floor nearly killed us both, so it was the perfect way to end his week of vacation.

~ for the warmth and comfort from a crackling fire. I love cozy mornings snuggled up in the dark with my Bible, or painting beside it in the afternoon.

~ for impromptu hugs from my little people, and “I love you Mama” for no reason at all.

~ for a fun night for Carson Grace at Winter Formal. Thankful for sweet friends.

~ for a wonderful refreshing at our newly reinstated mid-week church service. Intimate worship, spirit-led prayer…it was such a blessed way to refuel our hearts with our church body. And I loved experiencing it together as a family. On Sundays, we worship together and then the Littles head off to their classes. In this service, we were all together (all but 2 youngest). No electronics, no coloring pages, no “you-keep-busy-so-mom-and-dad-can-listen.” At ages 7-17, they are all old enough to take in the Word of God for themselves. And pray with adults. Who knows how much they actually listen or understand, but I just truly believe seeds are being planted. I’m excited to see them grow into who God has made them each to be.

~ for Sawyer’s wonderful Clinic visit on Thursday! CANCER-FREE!!! Glory to the LORD! Josh and I are always freshly amazed that Sawyer is doing so well. And it is such a blessing to see others see him as a miracle, too. The doctors scarcely know what to think. It’s my favorite to see Dr. Winick’s eyes shine as she listens to him tell her stories about his family or about school, and be genuinely thrilled with a picture he has made for her. I’ve recently heard of so many of Sawyer’s “friends” specifically those that I’ve met through the online Infant Leukemia community: kids who have dramatic speech delays due to underdeveloped mouth and facial muscles from being fed through a tube for years instead of learning to eat by mouth. Kids with social anxiety from being kept on isolation and never learning to interact with other kids. Cancer in an infant can cause so many issues, with the disease and treatment occurring during the most formative months and years of brain development. BUT GOD! Sawyer has faced so many traumas, yet the Lord has chosen to show healing mercies here on earth. I will never understand why Sawyer is doing so well, when things could be so very different. And have turned out so very different for people who I love. But we just have to choose every day to trust that Our Good Good Father knows what He is doing, and that His plan supersedes our instincts on every level. And keep praying and praising.

~ for good laughs. Near the end of his appointment, Sawyer said to Dr. Winick, giggling, “I know what comes next… you’re going to check my business.” (Each visit includes inspecting his testicles – “business” – for any irregularities. Infant leukemia has a high rate of relapse in boys as testicular cancer.) Then he looked over at Gina, and said dryly, “you might not want to yook at this Aunt Gina. That would be inappropriate.“

After we returned safely home on Thursday, I was astonished to realize it was EXACTLY TWO YEARS since Sawyer’s treatment ended (thankful to have all my Caringbridge entries to look back on!). We didn’t have the long-awaited celebration marking his very last chemo. Instead, he was riddled with multiple infections and unexplained fevers, even requiring blood transfusions. He was getting weaker instead of better. So on January 17, 2017, the oncology team abruptly discontinued his chemo at his Clinic appointment. Very anticlimactic. And unnerving. That day, just 3 hours after returning home from Dallas that afternoon, he spiked a fever and we were right back to be admitted to the hospital. It was such a terrifying time, to see him so sick when we were supposed to be celebrating. BUT GOD! I never could have imagined him two years later: an active, vibrant, healthy, and THRIVING 5-year-old! A living, breathing picture of HOPE! Glory to the Lord!!!

Thankful for a good week. Thank you for giving thanks with me!

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!” Psalms 27:13-14

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Carson Grace and her friend, Kellen, at GCS Winter Formal