We Love

I am thankful:

~ for a wild, non-stop week! If you’ve been around Sunday Gratitude for a while, you know that when Josh, aka Mr. Giddyup, is on stay-cation, it’s THE BUSIEST week of the year for me. 984,752,938,475 projects on his list, and he’s been checking off boxes one after another. The man doesn’t know how to sit down, and when he’s on a roll, I don’t get to sit down either. It’s TRULY EXHAUSTING, but I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything. Wisest investment we could ever make.

~ thankful for at least one thing on the list that involved sitting down: breakfast date with Tatum K. She insisted on her favorite spot, Jimmy’s Egg (and we’ve learned that sometimes it’s absolutely worth it to let her have her way).

~ for the power of paint! After 4 years of ignoring the blah-blah beige in our girls’ room upstairs, we finally pulled the trigger to wake it up with a bright palette of color. The girls had no idea I was working on it, and were surprised and tickled when they came home from school Tuesday to Phase 1, a colorful freeform wall mural…

Phase 2 (Wednesday) was a bright fresh coat of my favorite white on the dingy beige walls and a taupey griege on the built-ins and trim.

~ for God’s protection. Gavin and Sawyer share a room with a twin-over-queen loft bed that Josh built back around 2010 when Colton and Cooper first started sharing a room. Josh went in Tuesday night to say goodnight to the boys, when he noticed that the entire loft was leaning treacherously. When he inspected the bed more closely Wednesday morning, we were horrified to discover that several bolts were snapped and the back leg was splintered. It’s truly a miracle that Gavin had not come crashing down and crushed Sawyer. BUT GOD!

But dismantling the loft created an “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” scenario. The boy’s room was the final room in our house that had not been refreshed by paint. It was navy and light blue, and had worked well enough for their room that it could be left alone. But the already worn paint job had significantly weathered after 4 years of my boys.

Time to finally update the paint! Not a project we had planned for this week, but there was no more putting it off. I went with my favorite grey tone that I already had on hand. While I knocked the paint out (which incredibly only took one coat, even over navy blue!) Josh, on the spot, designed and built matching twin headboards from the salvaged loft lumber, complete with the old stickers and hand drawn graffiti from our 4 boys over the past 12 years.

I decided at the last minute to add a few stripes for a little extra style, and we pulled out our boxed up sports memorabilia that had decorated our game room at our last house.

Birdie and Bear enjoyed the extra ventilation

Dad’s collection, plus many special signed pieces from when Sawyer was in the hospital

I’ll wait until next week for full reveal once their new bedding arrives. Best of all, this 7-hour-total refresh cost next to nothing! We re-purposed what we already had, and after selling the old queen mattress on Facebook Marketplace, that money covered the cost of the new bedding! Not bad for a completely unexpected, spontaneous makeover! Gavin and Sawyer are THRILLED!

Phase 3 of the girls’ room was a quick color burst around the window to tie it all together. Phase 4-yet-to-come will be the least impressive, lots of touchup and second/third coats on the builtins.

~ for the most delicious breakfast feast. Mom and Dad teamed up on the new griddle to cook up 2 pounds of bacon, 2 dozen eggs, and 2 dozen fluffy pancakes…in MINUTES! Why does everything taste so much better cooked outside?

~ for a new plant baby!

~ for kids who make me laugh. Lord, thank You for sending laughter when I need it the most.

Which does she need worse: ACTUAL rollerskates, or A BATH!?

~ for a very special birthday: Kora is a brand new teenager! She had a great day, starting with her favorite breakfast of Donut Shop pigs in the blanket.

Always a helper, she helped Dad make her menu-of-choice, smashburgers, as well as her ice cream bar birthday cake. And her day felt extra special with all the SuperBowl hype in the air. It was such a fun day celebrating our sweet, beautiful girl.

~ in addition this week on his stay-cation, Josh replaced a broken shower door with a beautiful new one, replaced a leaky bathroom faucet, restained our backyard fence, installed a new door on Cooper’s studio, fixed the boys’ closet, reinforced the girls’ bunkbeds, fixed a broken drawer, took Gavin and Sawyer to batting practice (they are both super excited to start their first year of Little League baseball), built a custom Giddyup&Whoa order, and had a great family movie night watching “American Underdog,” the inspirational Kurt Warner story (HIGHLY RECOMMEND). Any further explanation needed as to why he is called Mr. Giddyup???

~ for one of our kids’ very favorite nights of the year: the Father-Daughter Valentine’s Dance. It is absolutely adorable how seriously our girls take this event. They spend HOURS on their outfits and hair, and their eyes just sparkle when their sweet Daddy comes to the door. Always with roses for his daughters, earnestly asking each one if they will join him on a date. It is beautiful, and I know they feel so loved. This year was extra special, because it was the first year Tatum K was old enough to attend, so for the first time ever, Dad had ALL FIVE DAUGHTERS on his arm. Just look at them! My heart just melted.

Not to be outdone, I was tickled to spend the evening with ALL MY BOYS! I don’t know if this has ever happened. If so, it’s been years. They took me on a date: dessert FIRST at Braums, and then to Texas Roadhouse.

Gavin had his first steak, and Sawyer got a lesson from Colton on how to eat fried pickles. What a treat! It would be tough to say who had more fun that evening: the boys, the girls, or Mom and Dad. My heart is full. We are so blessed.

So many blessings. So much to be thankful for. And all glory to God for redeeming two lost souls, and building this super-sized potpourri of a family. We are a beautiful mess, figuring it all out as we go, holding on tight to Jesus and to one another along the way. It’s not easy. It’s not always pretty. In fact it’s completely exhausting pretty much 99.9% of the time, but I’ll never stop thanking my Father for this path He set me on.

Thanks for following along on this crazy ride. I’m thankful you’re here.

And thanks for giving thanks with me.

“We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

“The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.”(Psalms 126:3)

Work in Progress

I am thankful:

~ for a safe and cozy home when the Texas cold snap hit. The region was fully prepared for a shut-down: paper products, milk, and bottled water shelves stood bare at every grocery store, and school was cancelled for two days. The two hours of freezing drizzle we actually got in Tyler was slightly anticlimactic, but at least we were prepared! We enjoyed hot chocolate and our fireplace. And a mile-long coloring book!

~ for NEXT LEVEL grilled-cheesing, on the flat top of course! Dad cooked all 18 grilled cheese (standard lunch for our crew) in 4 minutes flat!

~ orchid update – now she’s just showing off!

~ for a new toy for Bear and Birdie. We’ll see how long this one lasts!

We are getting used to being a puppy-less household once again. I have found Birdie whining at closed doors and searching for her babies several times. But she seems to be settling back into her silly, playful self. And I love how much Birdie and Bear love each other. They really are best friends and sweethearts.

~for a handy sous chef in training.

~ for a fun salvage project in progress. Friends dropped off a couple curbside rescues a few weeks ago, and I’ve been working on a makeover. I love giving new beauty to something that has been written off as garbage. It’s such a beautiful reminder of what Jesus has done for me. Aren’t we all works in progress, always hoping for ANOTHER second chance? Waiting expectantly for God to bring beauty from our mess?

~ for fluffy mashed potatoes and maple cayenne glazed carrots.

No great revelations this week. Today, I remain a work in progress myself. Still waiting. Still praying. Still anxious. Still expecting. Still learning. Still failing. Still trying.

There’s still plenty that I don’t understand. But that’s ok. I know The One who does. And I’m reminded again and again that there is an order to all things.

God’s not finished.

So I’m thankful.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7)

“Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the Lord.” (Psalms 31:24)

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thess 5:16-18)

Wonder

I am thankful:

~ for a week full of warm holiday smells: cinnamon and sweet potatoes, cranberries and cedar, cloves and pumpkin.

~ for a successful, if INTENSELY STRESSFUL, first attempt deep frying a turkey. We have heard so many horror stories of fires and explosions, so we had the fire extinguisher at the ready. After a multiple generous injections of creole butter, and a 50 minute bath in boiling peanut oil, we had a gloriously golden brown, crispy skinned bird! It was delicious!

~ for a lovely Thanksgiving with all my kids together. We enjoyed spending the days laughing and stuffing our faces with family, complete with our favorite traditions, dancing the chicken dance and competing fiercely in the Pumpkin Olympics before the reigning Pumpkin Queen. It was a day of feasting and thanking the Lord for His faithfulness. There were beloved faces missing from around our table, but we did find comfort knowing they were together at the best celebration of all.

~ for pumpkin pie for breakfast.

~ for Round 2 of the festivities, this time at our house. We pulled out all the leftovers and watched the broadcast of the Carthage Bulldogs playoff game. Sadly they did not come away with the win, but the fellowship was top notch.

~ for coconut cream pie for breakfast.

~ for a wonderfully successful Barn Sale for Giddyup & Whoa this season! I sold out of 2 restocks of ornaments and all but 3 signs. Thank you for supporting our small business!

~ for cherry pie for breakfast.

~ for the start of our holiday decorating. It’s so exciting to pull out the tubs and bags and get out all the Christmas greenery and sparkles. I did a quick little upcycle with two trash finds today. I cut off the top of a rusted old steamer trunk and dry brushed it with some white paint for a “new” tree base.

And then a salvaged headboard became a new sign for our mantle. I don’t often make a sign that I get to keep, so this one is a treasure.

Josh did a fantastic job on the lights on the house, braving yet again his aversion to heights. We’ve got a long way to go, burned out lights, rearranging and ornaments to hang, but it was a good start and is looking cheerful and festive. I’ve always felt like this house was just MADE for Christmas.

Even Bear is ready! Birdie, not so much. She is expecting puppies in the next week or so. Poor girl is tired and uncomfortable.

I love watching the holidays through the eyes of my children. The awe and wonder. The unfiltered joy. I’m not sure when that starts to change, but for most of us, it has at some point. We are impatient with the long lines at the stores and the bumper to bumper traffic. We are irritated when what we want is not in stock or if the shipping isn’t overnight and free. Parties are obligations we’d really rather skip and the preparations seem a hassle instead of a blessing.

I want to step back into the wonder.

I want to delight in the twinkle of the lights and how they are reflected in my kids’ eyes.

I want to look at my Grandma’s decorations and remember them in her home and how special she always made me feel.

I want to prepare my heart for the Advent, and eagerly await the coming of my Lord.

I want to look past the irritations and the stress and and the disappointments and the hard, and hold fast to the unsurpassable JOY that is mine.

Lord, help me find true rest in You, in the joy of Your presence and the freedom of surrender. Let me trust You with it ALL, especially the pieces that I think I can’t let go of.

Thank you for reading, for choosing to follow along with our family’s story. I’m always so encouraged by your kind words.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely.” (Psalms 59:16-17)

“pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17-18)

Even When it’s Hard…

This week I’m thankful for the little stuff.

I’m thankful for a sleepy girl with tangled up hair crawling into my lap for snuggles. (And a beautifully healed lip/chin I might add).

For a beautiful box of the best tacos.

For a cozy sweater when the weather’s cool enough, even if I change into a tank top after lunch.

For a new vacuum that REALLY SUCKS. (Like it’s supposed to)

For a most realistic Leonardo Da Vinci, who was known for having the most captivating dimples of the 15th Century.

I’m thankful that I sold almost every single sign and ornament at the Barn Sale! Leftovers will be available Saturday at Vintage & Co Christmas Open House!

For the smell of roasting chicken.

For hot coffee that’s waiting for me when I wake up, and the first cup in the quiet stillness of the morning.

For hard lessons and good talks and God’s amazing grace that covers our shortcomings.

For a whole week off with my kiddos home from school.

I realized this week, this is the first time in 18 years that I have not attended a school Thanksgiving feast or program. The emotional mushpot that I am, I shed some tears, thinking of all my ~~little Indians~~ short, indigenous individuals, the same cute songs about turkeys and pies, and the well-loved costumes that we have used year after year.

But I’m thankful.

I’m thankful because it means my babies are growing up. That they got to do those special rights of passage when they were little, and that by God’s hand, now they are too big for them.

And thankful for the memories of so many sweet Thanksgivings gone by.

Just like the old adage, “is the glass half full or half empty,” everything is in our perspective. Thankful for the laundry because it means we have clothes to wear. Thankful for the mountain of dirty dishes because of the food that was on the plates. Thankful when the Word or the Spirit pierces my heart, because it reassures me that my heart has not turned to stone. Even thankful for the unspeakable pain that comes from grieving, because it proves how deeply we love.

We have to take the bitter with the sweet. And keep looking for the sweet in front of us. And remembering the sweet that was. And believe that sweet is coming.

Because He IS coming….

And we have to keep giving thanks, even when it’s hard.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

““Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)

“O magnify the Lord with me, And let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears.” (Psalms 34:3-4)

“When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” (Psalms 94:18-19)

A Paintbrush in my Hand

I am thankful:

~ for a fun, albeit way too short visit with Aunt Gina.

~ for Sawyer’s Native American clothes pin project for school. Fun to do this project each time I have a second grader.

~ for the Word of God, the comfort and refining it brings every time I open it up.

~ for the joy it brought to hear of one of Gold Network of East Texas’ programs at work. If you’ve been here since Sawyer’s treatment, you may remember that he spent lots of time in an inflatable-pool-turned-playpen at the hospital. It’s where he took his first steps.

When we created GNET, we began stocking the social worker with pools and portable pumps to distribute to cancer babies in the hospital. “Sawyer’s Just Keep Swimming Program.” I saw this photo on an INTERNATIONAL online support group this week, and I recognized it instantly.

Sure enough, when I messaged her, I found that she was in Dallas at Children’s. We quickly connected and exchanged information. A day later, I received this email from our beloved social worker at the hospital.

GLORY TO THE LORD! What a beautiful blessing to be a part of!

~ for a special Happy Birthday for our Bear Boy. We got him a new collar and a new toy.

The toy lasted 1 hour and 14 minutes. Completely destroyed.

I picked up a replacement toy after school. Bear and Birdie ripped it open and ate the squeaker out in about 4 hours, but they are still getting some amusement out of what’s left of it.

~ for a wonderful day off with my Love. He’s off every other Wednesday, and the past few times we have had a breakfast date, trying out various local eateries. This has been a favorite of Tatum K. She loves and frequently asks to visit Jimmy’s Egg, which we visited several weeks ago. The other restaurants were new to her, and she had her own unique names for them: Happy’s Fish House = “Happy Face” and First Watch = “Sky Watch”. After some not-so-good breakfasts (MAJOR understatement), we finally had our PERFECT breakfast at “Sky Watch,” complete with a light and pillowy waffle and decadent, savory candied “Million Dollar Bacon.”

~ for an awesome evening of football for Josh and the boys who traveled to Athens for the first Carthage Bulldogs playoff game.

Us girls had a cozy evening back home with a Hallmark Christmas movie marathon.

~ for the most productive Giddyup & Whoa week I think I’ve ever had! I’ve been behind on my projects because of my hand, so I have a lot of catching up to do. On top of orders, I’ve got the Barn Sale this week AND another sale the first week of December. So Josh and I both buckled down and got to work. He cranked out 15 signs in ONE AFTERNOON,

and I painted or stained the base coat on all of them, and completed 8 Christmas signs plus two custom orders.

Lots of ornaments on deck in the next couple days, and then more custom orders. If you are local, be sure to check out Vintage & Co Christmas in the Country. Jodi and her team curate the most charming and unique collection of vintage holiday decor, gorgeous furniture, and one of a kind finds. It’s such an honor to be a part of her sale.

Christmas in the Country: November 17-20

It felt good to have a brush in my hand. I didn’t realize how much I had missed it. Painting is such a part of me. I really haven’t been doing very well personally. My anxiety has been raging out of control, and I’ve been discouraged, struggling to keep my eyes on Jesus instead of the waves. And I was amazed to see how peaceful I felt as I got back into my zone.

~ thankful for a smooth resolution to a rough afternoon. Tatum K tripped and fell at church, and sliced herself under her lip on a stool. When I got to her, she was hysterical and splattered with blood. Once I got her calmed and cleaned, I was relieved to see that the cut was very superficial. But its location was not good: prime for her to bend her lip and pop it open. Almost 2 hours later it was still oozing down her chin. So to the ER we went. Much to my surprise, we were the only patients in the waiting room, and were seen immediately. We got fantastic care, and the doctor was able to glue Tatum’s wound with no pain or trauma. And little missy was such a trooper…after the glue was applied, she was told to lay perfectly still for 4 minutes. You have never seen a more still little Rapunzel statue in all your life! I was so proud of her. She skipped happily into the house when we got home and showed off her glued lip and her hospital bracelet. So thankful.

I loved the illustration in church today that giving thanks is like a muscle. The more you practice, the stronger you get. I have been feeling really weak in a lot of ways, and I know I need to be strengthening my thankfulness muscles. God is good, y’all. Don’t doubt Him. He knows what He’s doing, and He sees the end result that our perspective can never see. Press on. Press in. Rediscover something that brings you joy. Serve somebody else. Take a walk. Turn your music up loud and SING. And when you fall down, when you screw up, when you lose it and find yourself flat on your face… scrape yourself back up again. And thank Jesus.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thessalonians 5:17-18)

“Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! Remember the wondrous works that he has done…” (1 Chronicles 16:8-12)

Refocusing

I am thankful:

~ for simple days at home with Tatum K. As expected, I have not maintained the rigorous and creative homeschooling schedule that I had that first week. But we read books every day, play in the rain, and this week we had the sweetest picnic by a lake. I am treasuring this special time with my little spicy peanut. She is growing up way to fast, and I know I’ll never get these days back.

~ for a much-needed visit with a friend. “whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” (Proverbs 11:25)

~ for a couple G&W cuties headed to the Vintage & Co Fall Barn Sale. Jodi and her team curate the most charming and creative collection of collectibles and home and garden decor, and every sale is a new experience. If you’re local, don’t miss the sale October 13-16.

~ for a proud Mama moment, watching Zoe doing her very first Toastmaster speech at school.

~ for a favorite new tradition: Friday Night Lights – living room style! Thanks to modern technology, we are able to tune in Carthage high school football and cheer our heads off without leaving the house. Even Birdie is a fan!

~ for naps, glorious naps.

~ for the awe-inspiring StillBrave Foundation. Tattoo Tom built this foundation to honor his daughter Shayla, a bright and vivacious teenager stolen by cancer. An unapologetically outspoken childhood cancer advocate, he runs ultra-marathons to honor these amazing kids.

Unable to compete himself this year, a friend and childhood cancer survivor, Loren, set out to compete in the Moab 240 Endurance Run across the state of Utah, carrying with her the photos and names of 240 childhood cancer warriors. Sawyer is Mile 105.

It was emotional hearing Loren read Sawyer’s name. Even Sawyer choked up.

~ for a good old fashioned Dallas Cowboys Sunday.

~ for progress. Tiny progress is still progress.

~ for hope. Thank You Jesus, for the hope we have in You. “Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans‬ ‭5:5‬)

Thank You Lord, for shifting my eyes back to the simple little blessings everywhere, the blessings that are not really little at all. Your grace is sufficient. And You are so good.

Circumstances…they cycle up and down. This world is what it is.

But You…

Faithful.

Steady.

Sovereign.

Eternal.

Worthy.

The joy of the Lord is my strength. Remind me. As many times as it takes, help me to refocus. Let me fix my eyes on You.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”(Hebrews 11:1)

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” (Hebrews 10:23)

““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”” (‭‭John‬ ‭16:33‬)

““Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created.”” (Revelation 4:11)

Ready…Set…Go GOLD!

I am thankful:

~ for signing bookmarks, lost lunches, forgotten water bottles, and jeans that are too small overnight. For bug collections , memory verses, book covers, and pungent PE uniforms. We are in full swing!

~ for Tatum K’s long, beautiful hair that has never known a trim. I will admit, it’s getting a little hard to manage. This week after a particularly harrowing encounter with the hairbrush, she informed me, “Mama, I want a haircut. But ONLY cut it from the BOTTOM!” (Daddy said no.)

~ for sweet Samantha who is now a proud member of the 7th grade volleyball team! She’s so excited.

~ for little fun moments and activities sprinkled throughout our days.

Doesn’t everybody have a Chia Chewbacca?

~ for so much fun doing school with Tatum K. I have been so surprised by how eager she is to learn! Every day when she gets up, she asks what we are going to learn today, and runs to get a Bible so we can start there. And I’m learning how to give myself grace and that with a 4 year old, learning can be organic and unstructured. We count our food, we find letters on the mail, and sing songs and read books. I’m so proud of my little student!

~ for some really wonderful Giddyup & Whoa signs coming out of the shop. It’s been pretty quiet for a while, but all of a sudden we got BUSY! Including a first for me: 2 signs in Spanish for a classroom! It was a fun challenge, but I was terrified I would misspell something because I had no idea what they said!

It is GOLD SEASON. And it’s been 2 years since we’ve had any in-person events, so I feel like I’ve forgotten how to do everything. BUT GOD. He has given me energy and grace that are not my own. And I look at all the pictures of these amazing kids, and it gives me the strength I need to press on through. The bus is sporting her festive gold polka dots, gold purse out and ready, and gold apparel ready for the next 30 days. Ready, set, GOLD!

I’m so excited about our event on the Square August 31. Go Gold Tyler is our kickoff event for Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. We have booked a live jazz trio, food trucks, and a wonderful evening for our HERO families and their supporters. Please join us if you are local. August 31, 6:30-8:30 pm on the Tyler Downtown Square.

I’m in a season where I am CONSTANTLY reminded that nothing is within my control.

Nothing.

I mean yes, I am responsible for my behavior, my words, my conduct, my actions.

But the things I worry about? No control. And I guess I’m supposed to know that already, but if I ever did know that, I’ve long since forgotten.

BUT GOD.

He sees. He sees the horrors taking place all across our world. He sees innocent lives lost, and unspeakable injustices, and genuine evil.

He sees the things that keep me awake at night, the things that rattle me to my core. And this week, in the midst of trial and frustration and heartbreak, He has reminded me that nothing escapes His attention. He cares about me. He cares about people all over the world. He hears my prayers, whether I can force the broken words from my lips or not.

AND HE IS MOVING.

He is working in the dark. He is drawing hearts to Himself. He is mending broken hearts. He is building His Kingdom living stone by living stone.

And I will remind myself every day: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)

Don’t lose heart friends. Keep praying.

And thanks for giving thanks with me.

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? … But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.” (Psalms 13:1-2, 5-6)

In Between

I am thankful:

~ for the joyful celebration of beautiful Coby Tate Cochran. We love our Miss Lindsey and Mr. Chris with all our hearts, and Coby is the most beautiful answered prayer, so celebrating him and them is easy!

Coby is obsessed with cows, so his “Cow Jumped Over the Moon” theme was adorable. We went to an awesome park in Lindale, and the kids had a great time playing and splashing and celebrating Coby turning 2.

~ for our first juicy and delicious red ripe tomatoes fresh from our garden.

~ for the best laughs. Sawyer has taken to wearing a mustache these days. Years ago when he was little, he had “Friend the Mustache.”

He proudly donned his new one this week and said, “‘Friend the Mustache’ is back!” He wears it almost every day. He came down and sat beside me and I looked at him and started giggling. “What?” he asked innocently. I just shook my head laughing and reminded him, “Your mustache.” To which he replied without hesitation, “What??? Is it upside down?”

~ for Cooper’s favorite French toast, slightly crunchy with cinnamon sugar and a hint of orange zest, dusted with powdered sugar, dripping with melted butter and warm maple syrup.

~ for Giddyup&Whoa signs to paint. I’ve had the wonderful privilege of painting for my dear friends’ new vet clinic (Faith Veterinary Clinc in Troup if you are looking for a vet), several weddings, and a special anniversary. I love creating something beautiful and meaningful for people I love.

~ for the sweetest concert. Our kids and their friends have been talking for WEEKS about a fundraiser concert they were planning for the neighborhood. For weeks I’ve heard them singing their hearts out at the top of their lungs. For weeks they’ve been borrowing the Alexa to play music and have “Sunshine Sisters” band practice. For weeks I’ve been hearing plans. Last week they had a stack of lumber in the driveway and half of Josh’s tools out. “What in the world is going on here?” we demanded. “We’re building a STAGE!” Thankfully we put an end that, or surely we would have had to get a permit from the HOA. Thursday I was in informed, “The concert is TONIGHT!” I began getting texts from other moms and neighbors, “Is this thing really happening?” And as I watched my children hustling and bustling through the house, setting up tables and gathering chairs and blankets… I soon realized, their plans were VERY real, and “this thing” was REALLY HAPPENING INDEED. When I walked out my front door, there were chairs in rows and a refreshment table. The kids had made signs and knocked on doors, and pretty much the whole neighborhood came out!

The kids sang and danced and told jokes and drew names for prizes. It was absolutely adorable. They even got their audience to participate!They collected $59 in donations for a local foster care support organization. I was blown away by their dedication, creativity, and courage. They had a goal, worked hard, and didn’t back down. And the support shown by our neighborhood was heartwarming.

~ for the bittersweet blessing of dropping two of my babies off at camp. Cooper and Samantha are THRILLED to go to Pine Cove this summer: Cooper’s 4th time(?) and Sam’s first. We have spent the whole week prepping and packing, and this afternoon I loaded up all their gear and made the short drive to the lushly wooded Pine Cove property on Lake Palestine. I know they will have a blast, but we sure will miss them!

~ and it will prove to be a fun week for Sawyer, Zoe, and Gavin, as they attend 4 nights of IGNITE, a VBS-type event at their school campus. Tonight was SuperHero Night. Kora and Tatum K (too old and to young for IGNITE) helped me bake some yummy muffins at home, and I will enjoy some girl time with them with the others are gone.

It was a mish-mosh week of highs and lows and everything in between. Just real life messes. Hoverboards left out in the driveway and half-dog-eaten crayons under the table. Clogged toilets and a pocketful of Kleenex-turned-confetti in the washer. The kind of week that caused me to know there are 52 days of summer left until the first day of school. Sometimes parenting looks like this…

And sometimes it looks like this.

When someone can’t resist sticking their fingers in the THIRD coat of a drywall project

I know that a huge part of parenting (or life in general) is the humbling, the stretching, the reaffirming that we don’t have all the answers. Our shortcomings highlight what a perfect Father we have. In our weakness He is strong. He never gives up, never wears out, never turns His back. I can’t tell you how many times I had to put myself in a time-out this week. I’ve emptied myself, come to my end. I’ve cried myself to sleep and said not-very-Christlike words in my closet. If you had a week that you had to sit and think a moment to come up with what you are thankful for… you are in good company.

But it’s still worth it.

It’s still worth giving thanks for sticky jelly kisses and a warm bed and silly mustaches and an occasional 5 quiet minutes alone with a great cup of coffee. And a reminder to give thanks that none of my babies are in the hospital. To take nothing for granted. The more of me that gets emptied out, the more room there is for Jesus.

Dear Lord, we DO have so much to be thankful for.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Make me know Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.” (Psalms 25:4-5)

“Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you. Observe the commands of the Lord your God, walking in obedience to him and revering him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills; When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.” (Deuteronomy 8:5-7, 10)

“On the mountains, I will bow my life to the one who set me there In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there When I’m standing on the mountain I didn’t get there on my own When I’m walking through the valley I know I am not alone You’re God of the hills and valleys And I am not alone” (“Hills and Valleys,” Tauren Wells)

Turn Your Music On

I am thankful:

~ for a beautiful, thriving garden! Looks like the new soil and new plants are actually going to make it! Sawyer planted sunflowers this week, and eagerly checks daily for signs of sprouting.

~ for a wonderful presentation from Gavin and his 4th grade classmates at their Spring Concert. Gavin was so proud to be chosen to sing a solo, and he performed it beautifully. Their worship was pure and innocent and SO POWERFUL, and I know it was so pleasing to the Lord.

~ for my dear friend having a wonderfully successful mission yard sale to raise money for their ministry to Uganda (check out Rock of Living Waters. The Lord is doing great things!) Despite their one day sale being a dreary, rainy day, they raised almost $5000! And after their sale, they had so much left over, they donated it to TCF for our mission yard sale happening later this month! My DARLING HUSBAND wanted to kill me for volunteering him to pick it all up…it filled EVERY INCH of an Aaron’s box truck, which we had to load and THEN UNLOAD at the church. (“The Giddyup” & “The Whoa” switched roles for a couple brief hours that day, but we got through it, and order has once again been restored.)

~ and Tatum K was in her glory at that yard sale. I told her she could choose a treasure, and Little Miss stomped from one end of the tent to the other in her rain boots, with a trash bag in her hand. She found her 2 princess puzzles, a princess bubble kit, a Hello Kitty doll, a new dress 3 sizes too big, and the most beautiful princess dress up high heels that she had ever seen.

Considering that day I had already dragged her, in the pouring rain, to Home Depot, Home Goods, Sam’s Club, ALDI, At Home, Walmart, and Lowe’s…she deserved some treasure! It was a big day for Bitsy Girl.

~ for the opportunity to celebrate our firstborn‘s birthday. Colton, the beautiful black haired, once-chocolate-now-green-eyed baby, the one who made me a mama, turned 22 today. We have gone through hell with him, and with great joy have come out the other side. We are so proud of the man he is becoming, and grateful for the relationship that has been rebuilt over the last few years. Celebrating him is a true celebration. A food-lover after my own heart, his menu never disappoints: crescent chicken (a savory chicken and cream cheese mixture baked in a crescent roll pocket), sweet potato fries with homemade ranch, and a tower fluffy cream puffs. Tatum K approved of his “ba-zert.”

~ for my husband’s Giddyup spirit. He decided the front of our house needed a little bench in a spot that had been an awkward little flowerbed. So of course, he drove straight to Home Depot and bought the cedar he needed, and came home and built a bench – all after a an 11-hour day at work. He finished it up and had it in place a little before 11pm. That man always blows my mind. We don’t call him Mr. Giddyup for nothing!

~ for good progress on my makeover projects. I’ve been busy with other things, and the weather has been uncooperative, so nothing is done, but I’m excited about the pieces I’ve been working on.

~ for an outstanding response to the Gold Network of ETX Toy Drive! These pictures are just SOME of the donations you have given! This is the first year we have had multiple business drop off locations, and the first year other pediatric cancer families have really gotten involved, and it made ALL THE DIFFERENCE! I can’t wait to finish gathering all the toys from the drop off locations, go shopping with the remaining donated funds, and count how many toys have been collected! What an amazing blessing for the Children’s Hospital Oncology Clinic!!

It’s been a hard week. I often describe my parenting style as professional Whack-a-Mole.

There’s always a fire to put out. Always a crisis. I mean, statistically the kids CAN’T all be doing great at the same time. But mercifully, we have never had everybody doing terrible all at once either. Thank God for that. But there’s also the part of me that says, “you’re not even walking through cancer anymore. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE OVERWHELMED. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH TERRIBLE TRIALS! SUCK IT UP!” Anybody else talk to themselves like that?

I’ve definitely felt discouraged this week. If you’ve ever seen the goofy picture of someone feverishly trying to sweep the shore while the ocean waves pound, crashing again and again…that’s what it feels like.

I feel like I’m constantly fighting a losing battle. Something will come out of nowhere, and I just throw my hands up and wonder, “what am I even doing?” I mentioned that to Josh this afternoon, shaking my head. He hugged me tight and held me close, and he said quietly and tenderly in my ear, “turn your music on.” He had mentioned that last week in Small Group, and it had surprised me that he had noticed that particular detail. He had said to the group, “I can always tell when I come home and the worship music is blaring… I know it’s been a rough day.” But it really is true: there is power in praise. There is power in worship. There is power in speaking the name of Jesus. So this afternoon I turned on the speaker and was instantly meant by the words, “By Your spirit I will rise from the ashes of defeat…The resurrected King, is resurrecting me…In Your name I come alive to declare Your victory…The resurrected King, is resurrecting me…” Thank You Jesus for the comforting power of the Holy Spirit, and for Your Presence. You have promised that You would never leave us nor forsake us. Help us to abide with You, and keep You as our first resource instead of our last resort. I know the trials You allow are refining gifts, sanding me and shaping me, keeping me humbled on my knees where I belong. And thank You for new mercies every morning, for each one of us!

Wherever you find yourself this week, I hope you will look for the good. Even in the darkest days of my life, God was with me. Don’t lose heart. And when you think it’s all about to fall apart, turn your music on.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:12-13)

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.” (Psalms 28:7)

“Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!” (Psalms 32:11)

Good Hard

I am thankful:

~ for the opportunity for my kids to use their gifts + their hearts. Gavin sat on the front porch and drew our neighbor’s car. But it is so much more special, because it is the car of their son who passed away just over a year ago, and Gavin wanted to give them his picture. Love his tender heart.

~ for Zoe’s character quality award in chapel this week: Creativity. Look at those sparkling brown eyes. She loves knowing she has made us proud.

~ for a long-overdue visit with a dear friend and sister. Our visits are never long enough or often enough, but we pack in the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of what’s been going on in our lives, and I always walk away from our time so encouraged.

~ for the great privilege of Gold Network of East Texas being chosen by Jodi and her team at Vintage & Co as the charity partner for their Spring Barn Sale. A team of us worked the admission table on Early Bird Day, and it was an extra treat to run into one of our very own HEROES: sweet Georgia! She loves vintage shopping and had found her own treasures that day!

I also had the privilege of painting a sign for a dear friend‘s baking business featured at the sale. I LOVE painting on unique salvaged pieces, so this charming punched tin pie safe was a treat for me!

~ for Sawyer’s school project: flourishing grass seed! He decided it needed a haircut!

~ for the grace and endurance I needed for a manic marathon Friday! This Friday was grocery day, which means tackling three grocery stores across town, loading and unloading before kids get out of school at 1. That’s a normal routine every other week for Tatum K and I, so it’s no big deal. Except of course that this week was a torrential downpour and lightning storm. AND it was Gavin’s turn to give his demonstration speech at school.

AND across town at the middle school, Kora was a queen in the much lauded annual 5th grade Medieval Feast.

By some miracle, I managed to get to everything, but I was a soaked, soggy, exhausted mess by the end of it all. Thankfully, many good memories were made, and even MORE thankfully, Dad brought home Rounders for dinner!

~ for a great Friend’s Day at church. Friend’s Day is a trademark of our church’s history: a relaxed picnic on the grounds, good food, good music, and good time connecting with friends, old and new. Josh’s and my first every visit to TCF 21 years ago was on a Friend’s Day. I’ll never forget it. We were so nervous to be showing up to a church service with our little 10 week old baby, and we were all dressed up in our Sunday best to try and look like we had it all together. We walked into the sanctuary and everyone there was dressed in shorts and T-shirts, ready for a picnic! We sat in the back and scurried away as soon as the service was over. Today was wonderful, several testimonies shared about the lavish love and faithfulness of God, bright sunshine, and a pie contest! I entered Josh’s favorite lemon icebox pie, but the grand prize of the day went to a most delicious pecan pie.

Also a staple at Friend’s Day is a blood drive. Josh and I try to give blood whenever we can, because we have seen Sawyer’s life saved time and time again with the blood transfusions he received throughout his cancer treatment. I was so bummed today when I tried to sign up to donate, but realized I didn’t have my purse and ID with me. Cooper, my one who is squeamish and hates needles, came up to me and said, “I’m ready. I want to do it. Will you come with me?” I was so proud to listen to him talk to the phlebotomist as she prepped him, “I know that helping the person who really needs this blood is a lot more important than any fear I have.” He did so great. And then Josh gave too. So proud of my Loves.

Saturday night we had our Gold Network ETX caregiver support group, CONNECT. It was our first meeting in over a year. When I first sent out the invitation, I was thrilled with the eager response I received – people were HUNGRY to get together. We catered a beautiful fajita feast from Abuelos, and I filled the table with bright and happy fresh spring flowers.

We had families drive in from all over East Texas, 18 people in all, several new to the group. We ate and we talked and laughed and got to know one another. And then we shared our stories. About our kids. About our journeys through our worst nightmares. People opened up about how lonely they had been, how hard it was to accept help, and how much it meant to them to be able to speak freely with other parents who understood the language of childhood cancer. At the end of the night, dad’s were exchanging phone numbers, we prayed together, and everyone went home with a restaurant gift card for a date night out. It was an emotionally exhausting evening, but we felt so incredibly humbled and grateful to have the opportunity to be a part of all these precious lives through Gold Network. And to give all glory to God, that He had walked this journey with us, and had opened our eyes and our hearts through the terrible trial of Sawyer’s cancer diagnosis. What a picture of beauty from ashes. I never would have chosen to walk this path, to see my child suffer in so many ways. But God had a purpose so much greater that we never dreamed of during all those hard, hard years. It is still very painful and draining to stay so entrenched in the childhood cancer world. Every new diagnosis, every harsh side effect or relapse pierces my heart as if it was my own child. But it fuels the desire to press in to the Lord more deeply, and to fight for these precious children and their families. It is hard, but it is a good hard. If you’d like to partner with us, you can register for the Tyler Gold Run 5K or 10 coming up in September, at www.tylergoldrun.com Or we currently have our annual Toy Drive for the Children’s Hospital Oncology Clinic. Check Facebook or Instagram for toy dropoff locations around East Texas, or donate at www.goldnetworkoet.com/donate If you make a tax deductible donation online, you can select a particular program you’d like to support: the support group, care packages, toy drive, our clinic call-in meal program, or to the general fund to be used as needed. We are so honored to be able to serve the childhood cancer community in this way, and so very grateful for your support.

As always, it was a hard week, a busy week, an exhausting week. We had highs and lows, successes and lots of failures. It’s not a fairytale. But more and more, I’m learning to be thankful for the hard. It’s where I learn the most. It’s where I come to the end of my facade and get real with God. It’s were real life happens.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”(Philippians 4:12-13)

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”(Galatians 6:2)