Hammock

I am thankful.

Are you in a busy season? So many of us are. Life’s pace can be relentless, and our calendars get overwhelmingly full.

Our family seems to be perpetually locked in the busy cycle.

Full of good things: Jr. High drama productions…

Jr. High fall choir concerts…

Barn building of course…

A certain handsome young man turning 18…

Busy isn’t bad. A work is good. But so is REST. How long has it been since you’ve been truly REFRESHED?

Rest and refreshing and restoration usually end up last on the list, or cut out completely when the pace heats up.

But what if we made it a priority?

What if rest came FIRST? Resting in our Father, being refreshed from the fellowship of His people, being restored in the wonder of His creation?

I’m preaching to myself here. Josh and I are the world’s WORST at taking on too much, pushing our bodies past their limits, and I personally barely sleep at all.

But we hosted the quarterly Gold Network ETX support group in our home this weekend, and experienced deep, life-giving connections as people opened up about their struggles on the childhood cancer journey. It filled up our hearts with refreshing.

I spent a morning with a friend, curled up on the couch with our cups of coffee, just catching up on each other’s lives. No agenda, nothing accomplished except the sharing of lives and encouragement.

And I bought a hammock.

I’ve always loved a hammock. I used to swing in one in Grandma Grace’s beautifully wooded backyard in rural Southeast Minnesota. I’m a sucker for any hammock I see, especially at the beach.

We had a hammock at our last house, but it did not survive the move. So our frame has stood empty.

We put the new one up at the farm today, and from the moment it was hung, it was NEVER UNOCCUPIED for the next 7 hours when we headed home. It was such a sweet sight to see the kids enjoying it.

There’s just something about a hammock. You can’t DO ANYTHING in a hammock but REST.

Maybe that’s why we are so drawn to them. Like rest itself, a hammock takes a little effort and BALANCE to get into it, (not to mention STAYING in it) but once you do… it’s SO WORTH IT.

Where will you find your rest this week? May it be found in the presence of Jesus Himself, whatever our circumstances.

I’m looking forward to MY TURN in the hammock.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”” (Exodus 33:14)

“The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.”(Psalms 116:5-9)

FALL-ing in Love

I am thankful.

This week was Fall Break at school, and I’ve had a dream cooking for QUITE A WHILE.

LET’S CAMP AT THE FARM!!!

Josh wasn’t too sure. Our bed at home is very comfy. He likes air conditioning. And a toilet.

But he loves me and has become quite accustomed to my crazy ideas.

So we camped Thursday – Saturday. 1 tent + Mom + Dad + 8 kids + 2 dogs. Sounds like a fiasco? WE HAD A BLAST!!!!

And of course we got a few projects done…

We enjoyed the crisp temperatures in the mornings and evenings and marveled at how much better food tastes when cooked and eaten out in the fresh air.

Everyone MOSTLY got along. And no one ever asked to play on a phone or an ipad.

There was something really special about waking up on our farm. Knowing it was OUR FARM. And even if it was just for a couple days, I feel like new roots went down deep this weekend.

Even if we came home craving showers and our real beds…and even if I have done 43 loads of stinky, smoky laundry and still have 86 more to do. Even if we had to do head to toe tick checks and bathe the dogs 4 times…

I think we all fell in love.

Every muddy shoe and stinky armpit teenager was absolutely worth it. This is investment in their future. So thankful for our Tribe, for our farm, and for every adventure yet to come. So grateful to the Lord for His plan for our family that we never saw coming.

Thankful for the opportunity to appreciate a slower pace and the gift of simplicity. Amazing how near the Lord’s Presence seems to be when we tear ourselves away from the manic pace we train ourselves to crave. I know farm life won’t always be beautiful and relaxing and picturesque. But I truly count this weekend as a memorable gift that I will always treasure. We didn’t have to travel far to go somewhere GRAND.

Time to get back to the laundry pile, and the real world that is waiting. But I go with a heart bursting with gratitude.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, proclaiming your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night,” (Psalms‬ ‭92‬:‭1‬-‭2‬)

“Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it. Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy.”
‭‭(Psalms‬ ‭96‬:‭11‬-‭12‬)

Small

I am thankful:

~ for a much needed lunch with a friend. It may not have gone exactly (or ANYTHING for that matter) like we had planned, but we knew it was exactly what the Lord had for us that day. And my avocado BLT was DELICIOUS.

~ for Tatum K’s very first Character Quality Award at school. She received a certificate for demonstrating the quality of “Orderliness.” I must admit that this particular award came as rather a mystery to those of us who share a home with Tatum… she’s quite distinctly known for being a tornado, and leaves a wake of princess dresses, miniature doll limbs, and mismatched shoes in her wake. But since receiving her award, she has clearly been inspired to rise to the expectation. She has been picking up after herself, announcing, “Mama, I’m being ‘orderliness.’” Love that sweet girl.

~ for an awesome night of great food, fellowship, and testimonies at church. And thanks so much Miss Ruth, for sending me home with the tastiest pasta salad EVER!

~ for a perfect evening out at our friends’ farm. What a joy to share a meal in the fresh air and watch all our kids running and enjoying one another. My loves are chomping at the bit to get their own chickens ASAP!

~ for beautiful moments. That is my favorite part of being out on the farm. It’s just so refreshing to breathe deeply real fresh air and look out at God’s Creation.

To listen. And to feel really small.

There’s something…I don’t know, it’s so hard to describe. But it seems like there’s something…IMPORTANT…to having eyes to see what God alone has made, from the most majestic to the minute.

Sometimes it’s just necessary to realign our perspective. God is God. I am not. I may pray to him dozens of times throughout the day, and talk to Him intimately as a Father and a friend.

But He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. And He spoke life from nothingness with a WORD.

It’s good that we remember Who we are talking to.

And it’s good to feel small.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!” (Psalms 8:1, 3-4, 9)

Welcome Fall

I am thankful:

~ for another fun week of volleyball and cross country for our girls. The season is nearing its end, and it’s been a great experience for both Kora and Samantha. So fun to watch them enjoying their teammates and doing their best.

~ for glorious cool mornings. So it may still end up in the 90s by lunch, but I’m digging the sweatshirt for an hour in the morning!

~ for an unexpectedly dramatic milestone at the farm. We realized we needed to create a more definite driveway on our dirt path, so we ordered a couple dump truck loads of crushed rock. The whole process of expertly applying the rock along the path took MINUTES, but INSTANTLY transformed a pasture to a driveway! It was the coolest thing!

I’ve not been very good at updating our progress, but we’ve come a long way! Now that I’ve made it through September, I’ll try to do a better job!

This week was concrete-busting and shelf-building. Love these adventures with our Tribe.

~ for Bear and Birdie’s first trip to the farm. They are city slickers like us FOR SURE, but I think they’re going to love the country!

~ for a great evening of Friday Night Lights watching another Carthage Bulldog victory!

~ for a wonderful day of great food and fellowship at our church Friends Day. One of our favorite long-standing TCF traditions, a church-wide potluck picnic on the grounds, complete with Chili cook off and volleyball. The East Texas fall weather was absolutely perfect, and we had the best afternoon with old friends and new.

~ and most of all, completely thankful for an uneventful trip with Sawyer to Dallas for his biannual oncology appointment. And I’m happy to report with great joy, Sawyer remains CANCER FREE! Glory to the Lord!

Sawyer had a great, full day with lots of favorites.

•Favorite stop for favorite breakfast and CANDY (Buc-ee’s).

•Favorite co-pilot and snack-master extraordinaire (Aunt Gina)

•Favorite strange hobby (drawing his own blood)

•Favorite people (got to see 8 of his nurses from his cancer team as well as beloved Dr. Winick. I love hearing how encouraged they are after seeing him. They walked us through his terrifying darkest days. To see him thriving brings them so much joy.)

•Favorite use of his gifts (got to chat with four other East Texas HEROES that were also at the hospital today.

•Favorite thing to do on the way home (EAT! This time we tried out In-N-Out Burger for the first time)

Sawyer had a perfect oncology visit and will return in 6 months. He was due for a heart echo (to monitor his heart’s function and watch for any long term damage caused by several of his chemotherapy drugs). Results were NORMAL! Glory to God!!!

And the most incredible, mind-blowing thing I witnessed today happened when we saw 2 of his former nurses who had heard about the recent Gold Network ETX nurse training we did a few weeks ago. One nurse (who is now a nurse educator) wanted to show me another option of a simulator. Sawyer started asking questions, and before I knew it, she was teaching him HOW TO ACCESS A PORT! AND HE GOT IT ON HIS FIRST TRY!!!! Even flushed it and got blood return.

Watching my miracle boy, the one no one thought would live, who has overcome every obstacle that has come his way his whole little life…watching him do the unfathomable, from SPRINTING the 1 mile Gold Run and coming in 2nd place overall on Saturday,

to successfully performing a complex medical procedure that many adults cannot successfully master, one that he endured himself as an infant and toddler more times than we can count (and while still wearing his own hospital bracelet, mind you)….

There are just no words.

Thank You Jesus.

Thank you for continuing to lift Sawyer and our family in prayer as we continue this walk that never ends. We never take the good news for granted. Every day is a gift.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” (Psalms 126:3)

“I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders. I will be glad and exult in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.” (Psalms 9:1-2)

Pure Gold

I am thankful.

For God’s favor.

For kindness.

For people who are generous with their time, their gifts, and their resources.

For fellowship.

For new friends and old friends.

THANK YOU to everyone who came to Tyler Gold Run, who donated, who volunteered, who helped behind the scenes, and who prayed. You have truly made a difference by going gold.

September is almost over. Our mission is not.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” (Luke 10:2)

“David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.” (1 Chronicles 28:20)

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”(Hebrews 10:23-25)

All Systems GOLD

I am thankful:

~ for a delicious traditional gyro smothered in tzatziki sauce.

~ for a crisp, fresh new candle.

~ for my new diffuser running nonstop with eucalyptus oil.

~ for new Tyler Gold Run shirts! Always exciting to open the boxes and see the latest design. And it doesn’t hurt that I have the cutest models in all the land!

~ for a week of all things GOLD: hours of putting out Tyler Gold Run signs, Run Committee meeting, radio interview, speaking to 3rd graders about Gold Network and Childhood Cancer Awareness Month,

and for the arrival of my long-awaited custom GOLD glitter chucks!

~ for the conquering of an IMPOSSIBLE SATURDAY. Talk about a day when we needed a few clones! We had one sister with a cross country meet in Longview at 8am. One sister with a volleyball tournament in Gladewater at 8:15am.

And mom had Tyler Gold Run swag bag filling in Tyler at 9am.

SuperDad expertly shuttled the girls where they needed to be, and the rest of the Tribe helped me. Then we headed to the barn to hang sheet metal for 9 hours! Days like that harshly remind me of my age. But God!

~ for wonderful fellowship with dear friends at church and afterwards. What an awesome gift.

We are all systems GOLD this week. Speaking to schools, several interviews, last minute details, coordinating volunteers, and every big and small detail leading up to our 8th Annual Tyler Gold Run 5K. I can’t believe it’s been 8 years! What a ride!

We’ve learned so much and met the most incredible people along the way. I will never understand why Sawyer got cancer, but I will never stop thanking God for the undeniable beauty He brought from those painful ashes. You can learn more about Gold Network of East Texas or register for the run here. Local or not, runner or not, you can make a donation at any time via our website. Do it for Sawyer. Do it for Bristell. Do it for Sophie. Do it for all the children around the world who need someone to stand up and say that kids with cancer need better care and more funding. Together we can make a difference.

Hope to see lots of you Saturday!

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:58)

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” (Proverbs 31:8-9)

23

I am thankful.

I am thankful for this man. This man who came into my life so unexpectedly. Who pursued me so relentlessly no matter how hard I tried to discourage him.

I’m so thankful he wouldn’t give up on us.

I’m thankful we grew up together in almost every way. We simultaneously became best friends, parents, spouses, Christ followers, and started a completely new course for our lives almost overnight. And we never looked back.

I’m thankful that he taught me a love like I had never seen before. I’m thankful for the amazing dad he became overnight, and the way he has learned and grown and outdone himself over and over through the years. I’m thankful that he boldly and courageously leads our family to honor Jesus.

I’m thankful that the words “Giddyup and Whoa” were spoken over us two decades ago, and that they have consistently remained true, almost comically so. Sometimes we are so opposite we drive each other crazy, but we know we need the balance the Lord built into our relationship. Can’t drive without BOTH a gas pedal and the brakes.

I’m thankful we learned how to communicate, how to extend grace, and to forgive. I’m thankful that even though we learned a lot of things the hard way, that at least we did learn. And we are still learning. I’m thankful that God knit us together so tightly in preparation for the trials we didn’t know were ahead. We clung tightly to Him and to one another through darker days than we could have imagined.

I’m thankful for laughter and adventures, for Mexico, for the everyday grind, for back-breaking labor, impossible projects, and working side by side. He’s seen me at my worst. He knows all my details, and he still sticks around.

Today we celebrated 23 years of marriage. We served a luncheon at church, hung metal out at the barn all afternoon, and ate gas station pizza with the kids for dinner.

For better, for worse.

In sickness, in health.

For richer, for poorer.

Thank You Jesus, we are so very rich indeed.

I’m thankful we’ve never stopped dreaming. And that we will continue to be strong and courageous and DO THE WORK.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“I’m gonna live where the green grass grows

Watch my corn pop up in rows

Every night be tucked in close to you

Raise our kids where the good Lord’s blessed

Point our rocking chairs toward the west

Plant our dreams where the peaceful river flows

Where the green grass grows.” (Tim McGraw)

“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

September is Coming…

I am thankful:

~ for the yummiest perfectly toasted cranberry Einstein Bagel.

~ for everyone (even me) settling in to the school routine. This little nugget is loving her class SO MUCH! She says she especially loves the naps and “a-spanish.”

~ for a super fun evening of fellowship with our church Women’s Ministry painting at Pinot’s Palette.

~ for NO MORE PUPPIES IN MY HOUSE!!! Pups #6, #7, and #8 found their families early this week.

#8 (aka Blue Boy, now named Rusty) was lone wolf for a few days until his new mama could drive in from Laredo, so he got some extra special treatment. This was a much more challenging litter, with the new smaller surroundings, brutal summer heat, and less than ideal timing during back to school. SO THANKFUL to have “been strong and courageous and done the work” and to now have it behind us!

~ for Josh’s Father’s Day gifts getting lots of use: his noise canceling headphones, equipped with Bluetooth AND AM/FM tuner, perfect for listening to Texas Rangers Baseball while he mows.

And his stackable scaffolding, which makes the continued process of building our barn possible. (Still not a fan of heights though!)

~ for our boys’ joy at finding creatures out at the farm.

MOST creatures anyway!

This little feller was NOT welcomed, and was met SWIFTLY with his demise!

~ for Kora’s very first Cross Country meet. We all got up at an ABSURD hour for a Saturday morning to have her an hour early for a meet an hour away! I’ve never even attended a Cross Country meet before! It was a great experience for all of us, and special to be there for Kora’s very first activity. I failed miserably at getting pictures, but she ran hard and did great. We are so proud of her!

~ for a fabulous treat, lunch at the world famous Dairy Palace in Canton on the way home.

~ for more hard work at the farm. I’m so worn out, my TIRED IS TIRED. Josh didn’t earn the nickname “Mr. Giddyup” for nothing. I’ve never been so thankful for Mondays in my life – because I get a break!

It’s a big week. Tuesday Gold Network of East TX will host our annual Go GOLD ETX event on the Downtown Square to kick off Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. It’s always such a special evening to honor our HEROES and cheer them on as they walk the gold carpet with their families. And a sobering one as we see the impactful display of all our kids on the ever-expanding Wall of HEROES, and when we release balloons for the friends we’ve lost along the way. Please join us if you are local: 6:30-8:30pm on the Tyler Downtown Square.

And then it’s September.

I can’t believe I’ve been blogging now for 8 years, since Sawyer’s cancer diagnosis turned our world upside down. I’ll never forget God telling me to thank Him while laying on that vinyl couch next to the hospital crib where my baby was receiving chemo.

THANK HIM? But I did. And it changed me. And I’ve been thanking Him ever since, sometimes freely and sometimes completely against my will. As much as I hate cancer and mourn all that Sawyer was forced to endure, I am grateful for the mission and ministry that was birthed from that excruciating season of suffering.

In 2015, we found 9 families in East TX that had faced childhood cancer. 7 years later, we have connected with more than 100. Which is simultaneously wonderful and devastating. BUT GOD.

Will you GO GOLD with us this year? Follow Gold Network of East Texas on social media to learn more about childhood cancer and how YOU can make a difference.

And thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

““Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:3-4)

Ready or Not

I am thankful:

~ for a great first week of school under all our belts. We did all the things. Shoes✔️ Backpacks✔️ Haircuts✔️ Supplies✔️

Teachers were met. Desks and lockers were stocked with crisp new paper, pencils, markers, and folders.

Honoring our beloved Mrs. Youngblood. All 5 kids had her for Jr.K, and she had been so excited to finally have Tatum K in her class this year. Bittersweet.

Everyone was raring to go. It’s been a different kind of summer for us. We left our awesome house with our awesome pool and our awesome neighborhood friends. We’ve certainly made great memories working out at the farm, but here at the rent house it’s been a little lonely and a lot HOT. All 7 kids were ready for some structure and variety. AWAY FROM MOM.

Miss Tatum K counted down the minutes leading up to school. But it did take a few attempts to actually coax her out of her bed.

But a few blueberry muffins later, and she and the rest of the Tribe were ready to go! 12th grade, 8th grade, 7th grade, 6th grade, 5th grade, 3rd grade, and JrK, HERE THEY COME!

Did I cry? Yes, but I made it back to the car first. Did I go back to bed? No, my wonderful husband insisted on taking me to breakfast. Did I shove my face full of donuts? Why yes, yes I most certainly did. Ain’t no shame in my game. I eat my feelings.

I didn’t like the quiet. My house felt oh so empty. But I had plenty to do. It’s almost September, so my Gold Network ETX to-do list is full. And puppies of course.

But 3 o’clock couldn’t come soon enough. We celebrated with our tasty first day of school tradition – Shivers snow cones.

I wish I had a recording of the simultaneous overlapping words and phrases coming from every seat behind me in the car on the way home. “Mom, I need a red folder with brads but you gave me a blue one with no brads and I need one with brads. But red.” “Mom my PE uniform didn’t fit.” “Mom, we HAVE to get new shoelaces. TODAY. Like RIGHT NOW!” “Mama my shoes are itchy.” “Mom, you need to sign these 16 forms by tomorrow morning or I can’t go to Bible class. They said I can’t even GO to class if I don’t bring them.” “Mom, what box is my locker shelf in? What box is my calculator in? What box are my volleyball knee pads in?”

I must have made a face. Because Samantha looked at me and turned to the others and said, “Hey guys… lets give mom a minute before we all attack her at once. Breathe Mom.” (Thanks Sam).

I’m thankful for all my ducks, even if I can’t keep them in a row. I just know this is going to be a big year in a lot of ways. Tatum K’s first, Cooper’s last, and everyone and everything in between that will unfold for our family.

Lord, help me actually embrace each day instead of skipping ahead or looking to the next. Give me grace for the messiness and the unplanned. Let me be a grace-giver. Give me courage. Courage to face the hurts that will come that I can’t fix with a bandaid and a kiss. Courage to say “no” even when it makes them hate me. Courage to say “yes” even when it terrifies me. Give me eyes to see that today, today with the cramped house full of stinky puppies and stinky, moody teens and pre-teens will be gone before I know it. And that one day I will miss 3 loads of laundry a day and 87 forms to sign. My hands and my heart and my plate are full, full of people that I love. Don’t let me wish these days away.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”” (Joshua 1:9)

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” (Galatians 6:9-10)

Where Did it Go?

I am thankful:

~ for a few, very few, lazy days left of summer.

~ for a fresh and yummy mini date with my Love at Salsaritas.

~ for the joy of finding Fur-ever homes for our puppies! Thank you so much to everyone who has shared my posts or spread the word! Only 3 little boys left!

~ for Whataburger malts to celebrate August Tonight, a very special day to remember and honor a very special man.

As for many others, our “summer” will officially come to a close this week as the kids go back to school. The mountains of supplies have been assembled, sorted, and labeled. Shiny new shoes sit waiting in their boxes – HUGE boxes of HUGE SHOES!!! WHO ARE THESE GIANT-FOOTED CREATURES AND WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH MY CHILDREN!? Backpacks and lunch boxes are at the ready. I can’t believe we’re here already.

It seems like yesterday that we were packing up the moving trucks.

And telling the kids about our dream of a farm…

Where did it go?

It’s been a very different summer. But in a good way. It’s been a sifting summer, a refining summer. A season of dreaming and reflecting and shifting and regrouping. Some parts I would choose, and some parts make me want to get back in my bed.

As if that was an option.

Time marches on. My babies aren’t babies anymore.

Now this little nugget is finally going off to school. (Pretty much against my will.)

She couldn’t be more excited. She asks me every 20 minutes how many days until school starts. She pats my hand and says, “You’ll be ok, Mama. You have Bear and Birdie.”

I haven’t been alone in 23 years. This year my BABY baby is starting school, and my 3rd oldest baby will graduate from high school.

I am not ok. I have planned my schedule meticulously.

• drop kids off at school

• return home

• cry

• eat donuts in bed

• repeat

It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:16-18‬)