The Biggest Little Things

I am thankful:

~ for HEALING! The Rucker Tribe has survived the Great Flu of 2019. Oh, we still have some sniffles, snuffles, and coughs. And sleep is still hit or miss (mostly miss). But it is a vast improvement over last week to say the VERY LEAST. Thank You JESUS! And thank you to all of you for reaching out with your kind words and encouragements.

~for all the funny little memories at Christmastime. For the kids’ love of EVERY Christmas song, and how they sing out with all their hearts. I love that Tatum K doesn’t know who Santa is. She just points when she sees a picture or an inflatable and says, “look mama! It’s a May-wee Cwis-mas boy!” We have had fun running errands together, she’s my little buddy while kiddos are at school. She attracts a lot of attention wherever we go, so stinkin’ cute in her little boots and messy bun. At this store she found slippers that matched her little sherpa jacket, so she had to give them “a lovey.” Oh Lord, let her stay my sweet tiny Tater.

~ for puzzles. I forget how fun puzzles are.

~ for a wonderfully special occasion worthy of celebration: Grandmommy’s 70th birthday! Aunt Polly hosted the gathering, and we feasted on brisket and chips and dips and a charming custom purse cake topped with FON-DANT. We all laughed and made Grandmommy cry, and celebrated the legacy of the lovely, godly lady we all love so much.

~ as always, Grandmommy’s birthday also marks the start of the greatly anticipated tradition: 12 Days of Christmas. Each night we gather and sing the song, and then open our thoughtful treat and take our picture. The kids absolutely love the whole process, and I am so thankful for all the work that Grandmommy puts into it all. These are memories that will last forever. I am a sucker for traditions, and it fills my heart to see the smiles of my babies beside the tree. Day 1 was sticker page nativities. And you have never seen such joy as they each diligently worked on decorating their own paper.

~ for such a fun Christmas party with our small group from church. The adults had organized a rowdy (and rather cut-throat) white elephant gift exchange. The kids were very intrigued by the idea (I mean, OBVIOUSLY they saw a bunch of gifts and wanted some) so I quickly gathered items from around our house to put together a white elephant exchange for them. None of them had ever played it before, so it was a little challenging. Sawyer ended up with the dud gift: a ladies bracelet and a coupon. He was NOT IMPRESSED. Nor was he gracious about being disappointed. There were tears. Everyone else had fun though. I’m thankful for such a fun group. As you can see, I was in a PARTICULARLY FESTIVE mood.

~ for a new-to-me treat: baked crescent rolls filled with melted chocolate chips and drizzled with powdered sugar glaze. Just STOP IT!

~ for last minute Giddyup & Whoa orders. you can imagine how tight the budget gets with nine kids at Christmas time. Even though our focus is definitely not on spending a lot on extravagant gifts, all the expenses just all add up faster than the deposits. Every order is truly a blessing, and we are so grateful for the way God provides! It is such an honor to be trusted with bringing to life special mementos for people.

~ for amazing and inspiring connections. I got a sign order this week from a lady I did not know. She had taken my card at the show at the Foundry several weeks ago and just now contacted me. She came to the house to pick up her order, and we had the best conversation! She is also a mother of 9, and we have several common friendships. Such a small world. The sign she had me do for her was so unique and personal, my very favorite kind of sign to paint. A saying with personal meaning that you’re just not going to find hanging in Hobby Lobby. She had asked me to paint “Love is the Tuesdays.” It’s a lyric from the song, “Tuesday’s,” by Jake Scott, and it was a gift for her husband. She encouraged Josh and I to listen to the song, which we did later that evening. The song is advice given by a father to a young man who is asking to marry his daughter. “No it’s not Hollywood son ’cause troubles will come / But it’s the best decision you’re ever gonna make / And you’ve got my blessing but just hear this lesson / Twenty-seven years and all I’ve got to say / Is it’s not just picture perfect dancing in a white dress / It’s not just rainy days where nothing stops the fighting / It’s not just highs and lows and champagne toasts / I’ve come to know that love’s not only the best days or the worst days / Love is the Tuesdays”

Isn’t that just the truth? Love is the everyday moments that happen in between the highs and the lows. So blessed by the song and touched by the sentiment behind the sign order.

~ for an amazing accomplishment for my INCREDIBLE HUSBAND! A few weeks ago he took the step of faith to enroll in an online real estate course, and this week he completed the first class and ACED his first exam! So proud of this remarkable man of mine and excited to see what doors God will open down the road!

~ for the kids’ DARLING Christmas program at church. From our Tribe, we had scintillating portrayals of an angel, King Herod, and Caesar Augustus, as well as 2 eloquent narrators. There is something so pure about seeing the story of Jesus’ birth through the eyes and lips of children. And even seeing how beautiful and grown up Samantha and Kora are. Zoe sparkling in her tinsel halo. Sawyer, serious as can be, sternly barking out his line, and Gavin’s dramatic death on stage. Even Tatum K’s spontaneous interruptions asking when it would be “cookie time.” It was just so very special.

Before the Children’s Program, Becky the Children’s Pastor, asked the audience to pause. I LOVED how she said it. “Let’s just pause a moment to make some room. We can’t appreciate a gift we are given if we don’t take the time to realize how much we NEED that gift.” Advent is the season of waiting. Waiting expectantly for the birth of the King. Waiting longingly for His Return. But do we have room? Are we too busy and distracted by the cares of this world? By how many friends/followers/likes we can accumulate? By having the Pinterest-perfect porch display, ugly sweater, or charcuterie board? By buying the perfect gift to outdo what we gave last year?

Quieting our heart is hard. Waiting is hard. What are you waiting on? What prayer are you praying that has not yet been answered? My heart aches with the weight of some of the things I wait for, long for. But I know God sees me. I know He cares about the things and the people I’m asking Him for. He saw the needs of the people of Israel. He had a plan to meet those needs. He has a plan to fulfill every need. But for now, we wait. Creation is groaning for our Coming King. We ache for healing, for reconciliation, for restoration. We cry out to Him for a Breakthrough. And sometimes every single thing our eyes see looks like failure. Hopeless. But the God of Hope is working when we cannot see. And thankfully, His power is not contingent on our faith. I thank God for that every day. Because my faith feels so small and my vision falls so short. But God. So whatever it is you are waiting for, don’t lose heart.

He is working.

He is coming.

And He’s always right on time.

So let’s pause a moment. And let’s make some room for Jesus in our hearts and our schedules this week.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalms 27:13-14)

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed….We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently….And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:18-19, 22-25, 28)

Not Qualified

~ for a week full of dreams. Josh and I are dreaming big dreams about a lot of things. I have no idea what the Lord has in store, but I LOVE having this wonderful man to dream with.

~for a great Giddyup & Whoa week. Our Christmas items did well at the Barn Sale, and I participated in my first artisan mini market. It’s one thing to drop my things off at the barn, quite a different thing to set up a display and man it for five hours. Josh built the perfect rustic display panels, I got a credit card swiper, a receipt book for taking orders, printed me up some cute shopping bags… For the first time ever, I actually felt like a little store! It was surreal and terrifying. But once we got it all put together, it was great. It was so fun. The market was outside, 42°, and completely in the shade all day… So I was a Giddyup-and-Whoa-sicle by the end of it. I met some terrific people, sold several signs and lots of ornaments, got a bunch of custom orders, and lots of people took my card. I feel like it was good exposure and hopefully it will lead to more work. Even though I’ve been painting for years, today marks exactly one year since we launched our Instagram account and took the step out in faith to put our business dream out there. It has truly been a blessing to our family to have steady orders coming in. We pray God continues to bless it and open doors for us to grow! Keep us in mind when you are finishing up your Christmas shopping!

~ for warm, fluffy spiced ginger bread right from the oven.

~ for such a fun morning attending Samantha’s 5th Grade History Wax Museum. Each student had to choose a historical figure, read a biography about them, and then dress up as that person and pose. Samantha chose Marie Antoinette. (I personally think she chose it because she knew her prop could be a cake.) I ordered a tall coiffed white wig, but it did not arrive in time. So at the last minute, we had to improvise: I ratted her hair and fashioned it around a washcloth to give her a giant bouffant updo. We powdered her face and added a mole… She looked lovely!

~ for Sawyer’s “Fanksgiving” Feast! This boy has been is so excited that his feast was coming up, it’s all he has talked about. His class had prepared a darling program with scriptures and songs and of course, the CUTEST pilgrim and Indian costumes. Each child was given an Indian name, and Sawyer’s was “Brave Warrior.” He proudly donned our family’s traditional Fanksgiving Feast attire – the handmade costume I made for Colton’s Feast (hastily crafted the night before that feast, mind you!) Never did I dream we would still be using it 15 years and 8 kids later! I also wonder exactly how many times I have heard the song, “Super Turkey” over the years…

Friends, I have to tell you…sometimes writing these journals is such a battle. I always ask the Lord to show me what to share, to help me see the blessings. I truly desire for this blog to be a vessel of encouragement, and an offering of worship to the Lord. Because He is worthy. But sometimes…sometimes I’m just stuck. Or I’m right in the middle of learning a hard, very personal lesson, and it’s difficult to put words to it. This has been one of those weeks. I’ve been hit hard with discouragement. I’ve been freshly reminded how unqualified I am in so many ways. How in the world am I raising NINE CHILDREN? I don’t know if I’m qualified to raise a CAT. I have no qualifications to run a nonprofit organization. Or a small business. Or to sit here and write a blog to encourage anyone. I mean, who am I? I know where I have come from. I’ve been a mess. A liar. A thief. A harlot. A drunkard. Selfish. Guilty. Empty. Ashamed. Lost.

BUT GOD.

I don’t need to be reminded who I once was. I know EXACTLY what I’ve done. And so does Jesus. He has loved me since before He created me, before He laid the foundations of the earth. He has forgiven me and redeemed me and called me His own. He has washed me white as snow and given me a new identity and a new name. I am UNASHAMED. And that will never be taken from me. And all that is not to say that I am SOMEBODY….but I am somebody’S. I AM HIS. So when attacks come, I will hold fast to the promises that I know are true. That “Therefore, there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has SET YOU FREE from the law of sin and death.” And when I feel my flesh quake, and I start to doubt, I can call out, both to Jesus Himself and to faithful saints in Christ, and they will pray for me and speak words of life and truth to me, reminding my head what my heart already knows. I am who He says I am.

I hope you know this for yourself. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or where you’ve been. There is NOTHING that the Lord doesn’t long to forgive you for and free you from. The price Jesus Christ paid on the cross was enough. Enough to cover EVERY SIN.

Maybe I’m not qualified. But I am a Child of the King, and He is faithfully refining me every single day. And even if I’m not where I hope one day to be, I’m thankful that I’m not where I used to be. And I can live with that.

May each of you have a joyful, grace-soaked Thanksgiving this week, however it is you will spend it. I’m very conscious that the holidays can be very hard for some people. Broken relationships, missing loved ones, difficult memories. I encourage you to reach out to someone you know may be hurting this week. An encouraging word goes a long way.

Let’s love one another well this week. Let our words bring life and healing instead of tearing down.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” (Colossians 1:10-14)

“I am chosen, not forsaken. I am who You say I am. You are for me, not against me. I am who You say I am. I am who You say I am. Who the Son sets free, oh is free indeed. I’m a child of God, yes I am!” (Who You Say I Am, Hillsong Worship)

Seasons

I am thankful:

~ for 2 sweet quick visits with 2 different dear friends before they move away. It’s so hard to say goodbye to people you love. But seasons are always changing and you just pray that you can find a way to stay connected regardless of location. Tatum had a great time playing with a friend, and later having a delicious breakfast of diced tomatoes and chocolate milk!

~ for the stunning color of the fall leaves. People say Texas doesn’t really get seasons. And while the foliage may not be as electric nor the temperatures quite as brisk as in the north and northeast, I think East Texas is beautiful in the fall. I love the drop in temperatures, pulling out the boots and sweaters, and the crackle of a fire in the evenings. To me, the autumn season was the ideal choice for scheduling Thanksgiving: leaves change and fall, colder weather makes us want to cuddle closer, we hunger for the warmth of nostalgic comfort foods…it’s a season built for looking around at our surroundings and seeking to give thanks.

~ for a extra special week for Kora. Her class presented the Chapel program, a Tribute to Veteran’s Day. It was an inspiring and reverent program, and all the students did a beautiful job with their songs and recitations. Then as a part of her classroom’s weekly Toastmasters presentation, she gave her original speech. Big week for our girl. She delights in having her turn in the spotlight, and nothing makes her light up more than seeing Mama and Daddy smiling from the audience. So proud of her.

~ for the rare opportunity to surprise my girl! Carson Grace invited us to a special event as a part of her music major program, Student-led Night of Worship. Unfortunately, she invited us about 22 hours before the program. I let her know we were very proud of her, but told her how difficult it would be to make arrangements to get all the way to Marshall the next evening, especially on a school night. But as soon as I got off the phone with her, I got to work planning those details. Even that evening, as we were on the road to Marshall, I continued to text her and tell her that we loved her and were praying that the service would go well (true statements). When we showed up at the recital hall (you can imagine, a Tribe of Littles is quite a spectacle on a college campus, so we weren’t hard to spot), she saw us and burst into tears. I’m so thankful we made it a little early so she had time to get herself together before taking the stage with her worship team. What a blessing to see our beautiful daughter, singing unto the Lord with her peers. It was just awesome. After her set was over, she joined us in the audience, and squeezed me so hard…it felt great to know how much it meant to her that we were there. It was an incredible night worshipping together, and even the Littles totally got into it, clearly blessed by the presence of the Lord.

~ for lots of progress in preparation for our 2 upcoming Giddyup & Whoa sales: Vintage & Company’s “Christmas in the Country” and The Market. Josh has been building and building for me, and I paint every chance I get. The kids love being a part: helping design, paint, and construct; and they are always eager to “model” for me. So thankful for the opportunity to create together as a family, and hopeful that we are coming into a busy season for the business.

~ for successfully surviving the last (and coldest, and WETTEST) JV football game of the season! Armed with our blankets, scarves, gloves, and hot chocolate, the Littles and I made it to halftime, and left Dad, Colton, and Brooke to cheer Coop on to the bitter end. I love watching him play, so I’m sad to see the season end, but I WILL NOT miss shivering in the bleachers with 875 whining kids.

~ for our furry, floppy muppet dog, Bear, who turned 1 today! He has been such a fun addition to our crazy Tribe.

~ for relaxing evenings, chilling and watching the Cowboys. Ok fine. If you know me, I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about football. I can barely keep my eyes on Cooper’s jersey to see where he is on the field at his games. I can get into sports when I know personal stories about the players, but otherwise, it’s hard for me to follow. BUT. I love my husband. And my husband loves to watch the Cowboys. So I love to be near my husband while he watches the Cowboys. I paint or write, and I cheer when he cheers. We’ve got a system down.

~ for a weekend with our girl home from college. We enjoyed a RARE laid back weekend devoid of a schedule. Carson Grace got to sleep in, we ran some errands, ordered some much-needed glasses for both of us, and spend the evening watching Lion King all together.

~ for unexpected blessings. One of the reasons Carson Grace came home for the weekend was because she had been invited to be a guest vocalist at the church of one of her professors. The church was in Athens, and we decided to load up the whole Tribe and go with her. Carson Grace of course did an absolutely wonderful job sharing her song, and blessed the heart of the Lord and every parishioner in attendance. But it was clear the moment we got there that the He had a very specific purpose for our family visiting that church. The pastor (who teaches voice part time at ETBU, and was the one who invited Carson Grace) and his wife have recently taken in 4 foster children. Recently as in 3 weeks ago. I looked into that mama’s tired tired eyes and knew exactly what she was feeling. Oh, how vividly O remember the pain of that season, of those raw first weeks. Josh and I were able to share our foster/adopt story and listen to where they are in theirs. We could relate to one another on such a strikingly similar level, and there was such hope in that. After church was over, our 2 families went for pizza, and the adults visited as much as we could while juggling kid plates, refilling cups, wiping noses and wiping spills… We sat there and told the stories we have told so many times. Stories of broken beds, and heads cracking through windows. Stories of getting locked out of the house by 3 toddlers and of the end of life as we then knew it. BUT GOD. Because the kids from those stories are gone. They really are. I can’t think of a day when I was more proud of my children. As we were telling those stories with the grownups, OUR kids were loving on THEIR kids. Our little girls were chatting it up with their girls, and have already declared that they are friends who can’t wait to see each other again. Their little guy and Sawyer had been in Sunday school class today that morning, so they were tickled to buddy up at lunch. And Carson Grace and Cooper were kind and conversational with their quiet and reserved 16 year old boy. It was beautiful. I’m not even bothering to hold back my tears as I write this tonight, with the images fresh on my mind. I ache thinking of all that these precious children have gone through, more than anyone even knows about. They have been shifted around and let down by the ones who they trusted to keep them safe, and so many others after that. I can only imagine how broken and scared and confused they are. And I know how shell shocked those foster parents are right now. Everything about their life has changed overnight. And they are holding on for dear life, clinging to Jesus, desperately trying to be obedient to whatever He asks them to do. I’m so grateful that we got to meet this family today, and ask that you would join me in praying for them. They need it. And I’m so grateful that the Lord used this day to show me afresh how far our beautiful children have come, and the beauty that shines from the ashes of their story. Their story is one of brokenness and loss and pain, and a story of love and redemption and healing and hope. And today I got to see them ministering. Thank You Father for fresh eyes to see the miracle of New Life.

Whatever season you find yourself in, may you remain securely anchored into Christ. When things are bad, hang on. Jesus is holding you, He is fighting for you, and He will never leave you. And this season won’t last forever. And if you are in a sweet season, a season of plenty, of peace – set that anchor DEEP. Study His Word, seek God’s heart, pour into the lives of others. Invest wisely in eternity during seasons of peace, because that season will end too. And we never know what’s ahead. We just know that our best days are still to come. Which season are you in? Who can you encourage this week?

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

““Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:3-9)

Tiny Little Moments

~ thankful that I’ve learned at least a couple of lessons over the 20+ years of parenting. For some unforeseeable reason, I thought it was a great idea to potty train Tatum this week. She talks about going on the potty and seemed super interested. She’s so bright, I figured that she was ready. In case you think that my 20 year experience of parenting resulted in a successful potty training session, let me quickly correct you. After two days of trying, I my experience let me know that this child is not going to be potty trained anytime soon. The only thing that ended up in the potty was Daddy Pig.

~ for the raw beauty of the brilliantly colored fall leaves Kora collected for me.

~ for the simple, graceful sight of a family of deer beside the road. And of course, thankful that they did not run in front of my car!

~ for the AWESOME NEWS that our beloved Uncle Alan has successfully completed his treatment for throat cancer, and that he got to triumphantly RING THAT BELL! We rejoice in the past, present, and future healing by the Lord! BUT GOD!!

~ for a wonderful evening with our small group from church. We are such a diverse group…but everyone is just real and kind and we have the best time sharing life with each other. And this week we truly had a feast: a smorgasbord of breakfast treats! At the end of the evening, I’m not sure which was more full, my heart or my belly.

~ for Sawyer’s unbridled delight in creating his Super Turkey for his kindergarten class project. Each child has to “disguise“ their turkey so it doesn’t get eaten for Thanksgiving.

~ for my new basket wall. I’ve had the plan brewing for a long time now, and been building a collection of round baskets for months. On large item pickup week, I was thrilled to score a stack of exactly the baskets I had been looking for, and then this week I found the last few I needed. So fun to add a fresh design element to a space.

~ for such an exciting season for Giddyup & Whoa. We had a good showing at the Vintage & Co Fall Barn Sale last week, and we have two more shows coming up in the next few weeks. I’ve been painting my little hands off, and Josh has built me another big stack to work on. And ornaments on top of that! Can you believe it’s only 50 days until Christmas? Keep us in mind as you plan for those meaningful one-of-a-kind gifts.

~ for warm coats, cozy hats, and an insulated gallon jug of hot chocolate to get us through the 33° temps at Cooper’s football game. We shivered through all 4 quarters, and although the Cougars didn’t come out with the win, we were thankful to get to cheer them on.

~ for the comforting crackle of the fireplace. Oh how we all love a fire in the fireplace!

~ for irreplaceable moments dreaming together with my husband and asking God for big things.

~ for unexpectedly encouraging words from a kind friend. It’s so easy to focus on powering through the tasks of the day without so much as glancing up or around. Do you ever get to the end of your day and realize you never SAW anyone else. Even if you were surrounded, did you truly SEE anyone? Or did you wonder if anybody saw YOU? Think of what a difference it could make if we each took the time to SEE (REALLY SEE) at least one person around us and speak a kind word to them. A simple complement. A blessing. Ask about their day and actually listen to their answer. Sometimes people cross our paths unexpectedly, and what a blessing when they choose to take the time to spread some light around. I want to challenge myself to do that more.

~ for grocery day. So thankful to have my fridges full, mostly of milk.

~ for November 1! November 1 is one of my favorite days of the year for two reasons. Number one, because it means Halloween is finally over. I’m sorry to be a party pooper, but I cannot stand Halloween (sorry not sorry). And I’m always so grateful when that stuff is out of the stores and off all of the Netflix lineups. Secondly, it’s the first day of a favorite family tradition: the Thankful Game. We have a huge group email comprised of family and friends who have become family, and we each share our gratitudes for each day. I love getting to hear what’s on each of my children’s hearts, and to hear what everyone else is thankful for. It’s such an encouragement. Thank you Grandmommy, for starting, cultivating, and expanding this wonderful tradition!

~ for a wonderful and encouraging meeting with dear friends regarding the future of Gold Network of East Texas. We have exciting new vision about expanding our team and reaching more families impacted by the nightmare of Childhood Cancer. It still blows me away that the Network has grown from 3 families to more than 60. I never could have dreamed that my baby would have cancer. But that from the worst days of our lives would be born a ministry and organization that could make a difference to so many people. And I’m so humbled and grateful that the Lord has moved on so many hearts to help us continue to reach out. Great is Thy Faithfulness.

~ for the most mind-blowingly delicious meal: a succulent roasted chili relleno stuffed with gulf shrimp, Monterey Jack cheese, street roasted corn, mushrooms, and asparagus on a bed of cilantro lime rice. WOWZA!

~ for awesome family pictures from the photo shoot a couple weeks ago! Lauren did the most amazing job and we are all thrilled!

~ for tiny little moments. Josh and I say regularly how we have learned not to take for granted ORDINARY LIFE. That’s what Sunday Gratitude is about. Finding beauty in the tiny and mundane things of life that we sometimes overlook. I looked in the rearview mirror at Tatum K in her car seat on our way to pick up kids after school. She was bleary-eyed were half closed from being awakened from her nap, hair a fuzzy, tousled mess, and just the faintest hint of a smile. She took my breath away. How did God know I needed this baby girl? I’m grateful for the everyday: looking at dozens of kids’ worksheets, listening to their reading. Being greeted every morning with half a dozen hugs and a big hairy dog. The times when my teen actually tells me about his day and then asks me about mine, or when my grown kids take the time to text or FaceTime. The tiny little moments are when life happens. No matter what’s going on, no matter what we’re worried about or scrambling for…we are so rich. We are so blessed.

I just hope to encourage you to look around for the tiny little moments that you are thankful for instead of the 1001 nagging frustrations that crowd their way to the front. Looking at life through a lens of gratitude truly has the potential to change everything. And most of the big things we give thanks for…are made up of a million tiny little moments. God is always at work, in the tiny things and the big ones, and when we finally begin to acknowledge WHERE OUR BLESSINGS COME FROM, we can truly begin to understand how deep and how long and how wide is His Love for us.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

Romans 12:10-13 NIV

Overshadowed

I am thankful:

~ for the Rucker bus. Most of you know we have 9 kids and drive a 12 passenger van. We love it. It is a big spectacle, we get lots of stares, and we’ve been told it looks like a “dad’bern giant toaster.” But it is so comfortable for our family, and has been a terrific vehicle for 6 years now. A little over a week ago, the rear AC stopped working. In Texas, even in October, you can’t drive a dad’bern giant toaster full of children with no AC. They get crispy quick! So we took it to the dealership for repair. That left me with no other options but a 6- seater truck to drive 7 kids around (7 kids PLUS ME). Thankfully, we had no issues, and no onlookers did a head count and called CPS. The bus was in the shop for a full week, but now it’s back and climate control restored. It was a good exercise for all of us on FAMILY CLOSENESS. And now we have RENEWED APPRECIATION for our spacious bus!

~ Bear is most especially grateful that the bus is fixed. With so many kiddos illegally crammed in a sardine can, there was most definitely no room for a giant, hairy muppet! He missed out on his rides to and from school, and is glad to be my co-pilot once more.

~ for a special Kindergarten Special Kid week. This is always the highlight of any Kindergartener at GCS. And this was Sawyer’s turn. He has talked about it “coming up” for at least 2 weeks, counting down the days with such anticipation. THIS KID WAS EXCITED!!! Each day was a different fun thing: Monday, he brought his poster.

Tuesday, a favorite toy. Wednesday, Mama read his favorite book to the class, “Dr. Seuss ABC book.”

Thursday was “bring-a-special-snack-and-an-award. So that meant fudgy brownies and Beads of Courage. It’s more and more remarkable to see Sawyer growing up into himself as he boldly and openly shares his story in front of his peers. “I had cancer in my blood when I was a baby. I had to take chemo and all my hair falled out.” His classmates asked several questions about the beads, amazed at the number of white chemo beads and green hospital stay beads. Sawyer showed them the black beads representing all the pokes, shots, and port accesses he had over the years. He laughed, “some of my medicines made me get big chubby cheeks.” It was a very impactful presentation by a remarkable boy.

Friday was “Family Day,” and as many of us as were able gathered in the tiny chairs at the front of his classroom to share what we love about him. Another simple day that we have celebrated with each of our kiddos, that now has so much more meaning, because we didn’t know if he would be here.

~ for crispy BBQ chicken legs fresh off the grill.

~ for Cooper’s team coming back from Gilmer with a win! Go Cougars!

~ for friends who have donated for the Children’s Hospital Prize Closet Toy Drive. Our friend, warrior Mama, and eloquent advocate and writer Shelby (also known as Sophie the Brave’s mom, and now Baby Connor’s Mom) shared the request on her FB page, and we had a great response of donations in Sophie’s honor. We are definitely still in need. We’ve got a week left and we are definitely behind from last year’s toy donation. There’s still time to drop of toys in Tyler or Carthage (contact me!) or you can donate via www.goldnetworkoet.com/donate and we will shop for you! Thank you so much for all who have already given so generously.

~ for one of the most epically successful hauls in my Large Item Trash Pickup weeks of all time! I found table legs, finials, a vintage film box, a coffee table top that will make a perfect sign, 2 dining chairs (that we needed to replace 2 broken ones), a great stack of wide plank reclaimed wood, several great baskets, and a beautiful 9 foot Christmas tree! Oh how I love treasure week!

~ for a successful oral surgery for Josh. He has had chronic tooth issues over the years, and undergone multiple root canals, surgeries, and an implant. His mouth has been flaring up again, causing headaches and jaw pain, so it was time for yet another surgery to remove an infected tooth, as well as some bone grafting to prepare for an eventual new crown. Josh made it through the surgery well, and was pleasantly surprised with the custom retainer he was fitted with to disguise the missing tooth while his mouth heals. I got to be his nurse for the day, and I will enthusiastically present him with the Worst Patient of All Time Award. But we both survived it, and are glad he is on the path toward a healthier mouth.

~ for 2 fantastic nights at CityFest! We’ve been hearing about CityFest for nearly 2 years, praying for it and it’s impact on our city. But as it actually approached, I had increasing second thoughts about attending. I knew it would be H-O-T. I knew there would be about a bazillion people there. It just sounded like a big ‘ole hassle. But Cooper really wanted to go, and he worked on me until I gave in. We loaded everybody up, picked Dad up from work, and hoped for the best. A bazillion people was about right! The massive stage spanned all the way across Broadway, with jumbotrons on each side. People were EVERYWHERE.

But we found a good spot in the middle of the street, and settled in. The atmosphere was loud and lively. The kids were excited even though they had no idea what was going on. The concerts were top notch, Blanca, Ryan Stevenson, and Newsboys DID NOT DISAPPOINT! It was such a great show, and the kids were all thrilled to see the artists in REAL LIFE singing songs they sing along with on the radio. They sang and danced their hearts out! Amazing to have such an epic event, TOTALLY FREE! Even more amazing, it was incredible to see so many people of every color and walk of life gathered together for an openly Christian gathering. Evangelist Andrew Palau shared his personal testimony and an encouraging message of hope. We caught the fever, and there was no question that we would come back for the second night. We had a great time watching Pat Barrett, Neil McCoy, and Lacrae. What a fantastic show! I know that hearts were touched and lives were changed at Cityfest, and I’m so thankful we got to be a part of it.

My heart is heavy with a devastating loss in our Gold Network family. We met the Reed family in 2015 at Children’s Hospital. Micah, a vibrant 11 year old, had just relapsed with leukemia. He fought bravely until God eventually healed him by taking him to heaven on September 11, the day before the first Tyler Gold Run. Micah’s mom, Sandy, continued to honor her son’s memory by pouring into others and advocating for hurting families. Friday night, on the way home from a football game, was killed in a horrific traffic accident. Her sister was killed also, and son Jacob and a niece were severely injured but survived. When a dear friend notified me of the tragedy, my first thought was, “No God, WHY???!!!” And my second thought was of the glorious reunion between Micah and his sweet Mama. But what a hole of hurt and pain left here on earth for all the people who love her. The Reed family’s hometown is Sulphur Springs, and this small East Texas town has risen up in a BIG WAY to rally support. Tomorrow they are encouraging people to wear gold and blue to honor Sandy and her family. And I will include the link to a wonderful article about the community support, and how you can donate if you feel led.

Josh’s tooth trouble has gotten me thinking this week…isn’t it so strange how one tiny festering tooth can cripple you? It takes over everything. It’s such a nagging, aggravating pain that you can’t get away from. One little tooth. That’s how my week has been. It’s been a great week, full of blessings. But I’ve been distracted by something personal, one nagging thing crippling my joy. So my joy didn’t feel as joyful, it tasted a little flat. The pounding of pain and worry worked its way in front of everything else, and overshadowed the beauty God tried to show me each day. BUT GOD. That nag, even though I did allow it to dominate, it did press me in to the Lord. Oh the hours I spent in prayer. I prayed when I woke up in the night, and prayers of thanksgiving were the first thing on my lips each morning. Not because I’m so spiritual. But because I was SO DRY AND SO DESPERATE. So what the enemy intended for evil, a nag to overshadow my joy and distract me from my blessings…God redeemed for good. I struggled hard this week. But I’m so thankful to say that He has already done a mighty Work in the midst of the trial, and I’m praying it was a spiritual breakthrough. It doesn’t always work that way. I know we have all been through trials that have persisted a whole lot longer than a week. Sometimes we go years without seeing breakthrough. And sometimes it looks nothing like what we expected or hoped or asked for. I am just ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT that our Good Good Father is always at work, and never ceases the refining process when we give Him full access to our lives. The nagging pain of trial is often a symptom of a developing habit or stronghold or stumbling block that He wants to set us free from. What do we need to lay down? Pride? Anxiety? Control? Fear of man’s opinion? (Pride is pretty much the root of all that, when you boil it down). Anyway, I am ready for the week ahead. Armed with Scripture and the protected by Armor of God, I feel geared up, encouraged, and ready to kick the devil in the face when (not if) he comes at me. Not this week Satan. I will let Mighty God, the Maker of heaven and earth, overshadow me, not my circumstances.

Let’s love one another well this week. Lift up someone who is hurting. Life is too short to walk past someone who needs a minute of your time. You ARE the answer to someone’s prayers.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!”” Psalms 91:1-2

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” Ephesians 6:10-13

Sanctification

I am thankful:

~ for creative get-out-of-bed excuses. “Ma-a-a-ma, I need to ask you something? Do chickens fly?”

~for Giddyup & Whoa orders that come right on time. Every single order is a blessing of provision.

~for decadent French toast with orange zest and a crispy crust of cinnamon sugar. I had a new recipe, and it was a resounding hit with the Tribe.

~for the tender hearts of my children. We did not tell them about the senseless tragedies of last weekend. But they are incredibly observant and quickly noticed all the flags lowered to half-staff. When I briefly told them what had happened, they were aghast and IMMEDIATELY asked if we could pray aloud together in the car. First they prayed for the grieving families of the victims, and then began to pray that God would touch the hearts of the shooters, “that they would come to know You Lord, and that they would be sorry for what they have done.”

~for such a special surprise: my sweet friend Meredith blessed Sawyer with one of her impeccably hand-sewn minky puppies! Check out the gold childhood cancer ribbon! If you haven’t checked out My Minky Co, you need to! Thank you Meredith!

~for back-to-school shopping. It’s hard for me to say I’m thankful for this. Not gonna lie. School supplies, shoes, and clothes for six in school is no joke. Just the magnitude this year’s number is intimidating, but sometimes brave is what you are when you don’t have a choice. We tackled the stores as a wild and boisterous unit. My kids opened every shoebox in every store. They showed me every pencil that was ever made. They were pretty good about not “asking” (they had been severely warned) but instead they just exclaimed over and over, “look at this one Mama! Isn’t this one cute? Isn’t this one sweet? This one is awesome! I love this!” I had warned them, don’t ask for everything you see. However, I had forgotten to specify, “don’t show me and describe every detail of everything you see.” School starts Wednesday…I’d estimate that I am 68% done with the supply shopping. And that I am 143% READY to be done. It’s not that I want my kiddos out of the house, it’s just the progression of the season. They are all ready to be done at home and back to their friends. Instinctively they crave the structure and margin of the school setting, even if the appreciation won’t stay with them long.

~for grace for new seasons. I don’t think I can express to you how different my life is going to be with Carson Grace gone to college. She’s my babysitter. My ONLY babysitter. And I have become accustomed to running my errands by myself. I just don’t take my people into stores. I just don’t. A couple of my children have literally been in a store, ANY store, like three times in their lives. It’s just one of those things, that if I didn’t have to go with an entourage, I didn’t. Well now, that luxury is over for the most part. Six little people at the grocery store. Six little people shopping for shoes. Six little people in the return line at Walmart. It’s just a different season. But you know what… WE SURVIVED! I’m not trying to say it was relaxing and poetic and my favorite way to spend my time. But nobody backflipped off the shelves, and I didn’t lose any of them. So I’m going to call it a win. I think I’m going to be getting a lot of use out of my “big girl panties” this year.

~thankful to have my girl back, even if it’s only briefly. Carson Grace finished up her mini-mester class at ETBU, and I drove with the Tribe to pick her up on Friday. Everyone was thrilled to see her, and excited to get to check out her new room at the dorm. She goes back for real on Wednesday. I’m thankful for the Lord’s kindness to allow us to have a more gradual “letting go.”

She even sent me a “First Day of School” picture!

~for a fun night at Meet the Cougars. At this yearly fall school event, each high school athletic team is highlighted to get people hyped for the school year. Very excited to see Cooper’s #19 jersey come out of the football tunnel. He’s so excited about his freshman year. Can’t wait to watch him play!

~for Sawyer’s fun time at his Kindergarten picnic. He got to see old friends and meet some new ones, and went on a scavenger hunt on the school playground. So proud of my brave boy and how excited he is for kindergarten. Here come the tears again. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without him every day. He just makes life so bright. I hope I never outgrow the utter awe I feel when I look at him, knowing all he has overcome.

~for God’s Word spoken straight to the heart. Sometimes it just pierces in such a powerful way. The message this morning was on sanctification. Being redeemed, made holy, and set apart. Brother Alvin, our dear friend and visiting missionary from Honduras, referenced offering someone a cup of water in a filthy glass. I long to be set apart for God. Sanctified by His blood so that He can use me for His purposes. But how often I come as a dirty vessel. With unforgiveness. With my own agenda. With short-sighted expectations of my Father’s ability. I long to set an example for my children of being set apart. Called higher. Called to be in the world but not of it. To love with the sacrificial supernatural love of Christ. How much more useful we are when we do it God‘s way. And what a stumbling block we are when we insist on our own way. The message hit me right between the eyes today. Lord, cleanse me and sanctify me as a vessel of honor.

Friends, sweet Lucas went to be with Jesus yesterday. Now he is whole and healed and forever free from cancer. And now his family is broken-hearted to have to live without him. His suffering is over, and theirs has intensified. Please, please pray. Our lives will go on…theirs will never EVER be the same again. And while they do have the blessed assurance that they will see their boy again one day, today…today there is unspeakable pain.

Love one another well. Hold tight to your people and don’t skip the extra story and the 14th snuggle. Forgive when you don’t think you should have to, and give more than you think is necessary. Life is a vapor. You won’t regret it.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am the Lord your God.” Leviticus 20:7

My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.” John 17:15-19

Encouraging Words

I am thankful

~ for breathtaking technicolor sunsets.

~for the freedom of summer. It’s still daunting to balance structure and flexibility in our days, but we really are having a great time.

~for a fun week of Vacation Bible School! The Littles had a blast with their crews and Cooper was on the Recreation Team. The GSM staff at Grace Community Church always puts on top notch events, and this year did not disappoint. As Sawyer has not yet completed Kindergarten, he wasn’t able to participate, so he and Tatum K had a little extra “Mama time” each night. We went on walks in our neighborhood with his patrol car, snacked on Frosty’s, and went to the Sonic playground. VBS always means a stretched schedule, hyper kiddos, and LAAAATE NIGHTS, but I love that they are all enjoying themselves with their friends and learning more about Jesus along the way.

~ for VBS “Family Night. The kids dined on hotdogs and snocones, and went crazy on waterslides. I’ve never let Sawyer participate on inflatables in a crowd before. Honestly, it was unspeakably hard for me. My anxiety attacks hit hard as I surveyed the masses of overstimulated children racing from one attraction to the next. My heart tightens again now as I write. No one ever seems to notice when I am freaking out, but Cooper was so kind. He reached over and squeezed my hand, “it’s gonna be ok Mom. Sawyer will be ok.” I’m not going to lie and pretend it was my favorite. But he had the time of his life. Big sister Samantha was his running buddy, and they and the others all jumped and climbed and raced and slid nonstop until they were soaked to the skin.

~ oh how a hungry heart yearns for encouragement. A kind VBS volunteer took the time to speak some thoughtful and edifying words about one of my children. It MAY HAVE BEEN the same child who had a rough week last week. And it MAY BE a child who doesn’t always inspire edifying words from their leaders. This gal spoke kindly and genuinely about my child, and her words were truly life-giving, as cool water on parched ground. It wasn’t a big deal to her…she was merely making an observation, a casual compliment. But to this weary mama, it was EVERYTHING.

~ for kind words from a kind stranger. A woman approached me out of the clamoring herd of sugar-and-waterslide-amped crazies at Family Night, introduced herself, saying, “You don’t know me, but I read your blog.” She spoke kindly about following along with our family, that she prays for us, thanked me for writing, and encouraged me to “keep it up.” I won’t forget that moment. Heather, I hope you’re reading this week. You blessed me so much! You didn’t have to speak up, take the time in a crowd, put yourself out there. But you did. You’ll never know how many times I wonder WHY on earth I’m writing these journals, wondering who in the world would care to read. And that day, at that very moment…I really needed that encouragement. You never know how your words may impact someone. We truly have been given the power of life and death in our tongues.

~ that I have found it extremely therapeutic to sit on the trampoline with a two-year-old. Hard to stay upset.

~ for a simultaneously harrowing and HILARIOUS adventure with the Tribe. We took an evening walk down our street, which has been under construction for several months as an extension is being added and new neighborhoods are being plotted out. The former cul de sac is barricaded off, and during the weekdays there is lots of tractor activity going on. But on this particular weekend evening, we decided to venture down the newly graveled road to check out the progress. It was a perfect evening, moderate temperatures, light breeze, right before sunset. The kids skipped along, and we all marveled at this new stretch of pavement that we had never seen before. Suddenly, Gavin squealed, “Ow! Something bit me!” I saw a giant horsefly buzzing behind him. I swatted at it, and it furiously continued to pursue Gavin, who took off at a run. Another swat, and I killed it. We have been bitten by these predatory bugs before, and their bites are super painful, and now everyone is terrified of them. About the same time as I swatted Gavin’s assailant, I saw Josh and Cooper running. “Horseflies!” they yelled. So we all started running back toward home. Off and on, each one of us were targeted: relentless angry buzzing around the back of our legs and necks. All the kids were screaming and twirling, trying to lose the flies. In between the screams, the rest of us were absolutely hysterically laughing at the absurdity of the situation. I’ve never seen my kids sprint so fast. I doubt we will venture down that path on our walks for a while!

~ for a loud and rowdy Cousin Crew for our kids to grow up with – and T shirts to prove it!

~ for the incredible growth I have witnessed in the young people in our church. This morning I could scarcely believe it…MORE THAN HALF of the worship team were teenagers! Carson Grace has been serving on the worship team for years, but now several others have stepped up, including Cooper running the soundboard, and one of his best friends had his first Sunday on the drums. I remember teaching all these kids when they were little, either in children’s church or Sunday school. And now they are grown, serving the Lord with their gifts. My heart is so full.

~ for a really special Father’s Day evening. We were all really bummed to find out that Josh had to work on Father’s Day, but planned to make the best of it and get together in the evening for burgers. Colton came over once he got off work, and it’s always such a blessing to have all our kids home. Dad’s menu: grilled burgers, Doritos, and yellow cupcakes with chocolate icing. After dinner, the kids one by one presented Dad with all his favorites: Martha White blueberry muffins, new outfit, pistachios, Oh’s cereal, beef jerky, cinnamon Trident, sunflower seeds, chocolate chip cookies, and a Whataburger gift card. They were each so tickled to bless him, and he was tickled and surprised at how well they know him. I love watching him be a dad. He loves us all so well. After all the Littles had shuffled off to bed, we had some time with the Bigs. And it got real. Really real. They opened up about some things, and we were able to listen and able to speak into their lives. Josh had a Word from the Lord that He put in his heart earlier in the day that was clearly prepared for THIS MOMENT. There were tears, and hugs, and it was proven that big kids are never ever too big for Mama’s lap. These are the moments that put gas in your tank when it’s empty, at least enough to get you over the next hill.

If you have an encouragement for someone…share it! Put some gas in their tank.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

“They’ve made me feel like a prisoner / They’ve made me feel set free

They’ve made me feel like a criminal / Made me feel like a king

They’ve lifted my heart / To places I’d never been

And they’ve dragged me down /Back to where I began

Words can build you up / Words can break you down

Start a fire in your heart or / Put it out

Let my words be life / Let my words be truth

I don’t wanna say a word / Unless it points the world back to You.”

(“Words” by Hawk Nelson)