There is an Order to All Things

I am thankful:

~ that our precious neighbors are ok. Monday morning we woke to 3 fire trucks and their sirens responding to a devastating fire at our across-the-street neighbors’ home. The 4 am fire gutted their garage, and their entire home was seriously smoke damaged. NO SMOKE ALARMS WENT OFF! The wife was awakened by the strong chemical odor of the burning car. Thankfully, GLORY TO GOD, the precious elderly couple and all their many pets escaped unharmed. But it was a catastrophic loss that will have them displaced for months. So thankful for the family our neighborhood has become. We all carry one another. This was yet another sobering reminder of the fragility of this life.

~ that we survived Puppy Gotcha Week! 9 baths, 9 carefully labeled and stocked puppy care bags, and one by one, we said goodbye to all our sweet pups. It was bittersweet to be sure, but it’s impossible to stay sad when we get to see the joy on all these faces! Somehow my ever-bustling household seems quiet. (I will NOT miss the poop.)

~ for my orchid continuing to show off her unfolding beauty.

~ for an injury that could’ve been worse. Sawyer (a nightly sleepwalker for the past almost 5 years) had his first sleepwalking injury. He woke up one morning with a cut next to his eyebrow crusted with blood. Despite it being a head laceration, we never found any blood anywhere indicating what he smacked himself on in the night. It didn’t look too bad, so we just put on a bandaid and sent him to school. Which was perfectly fine until the next night when he bent down during his shower to shut off the water and cracked himself in the very same spot.

The wound, although still superficial, was now gaping open, and bought Mr. Sawyer a trip to the emergency room. Thankfully a little glue was all he needed. We may need to look into a sleep helmet!

~ for a fun evening celebrating our beloved Coach Chris’ birthday. We feasted at Brisket Love for the first time! DIVINE!

~ for a great first meal on Josh’s new baby. He replaced our broken outdoor gas-grill-turned-charcoal-BBQ with a commercial flat top griddle. The best sizzling fajitas we’ve ever had! And Josh cooked for our army in MINUTES!

~ for laughs. The Lord knew I needed to laugh this week.

Tatum K had a SHOCKINGLY good time on the trampoline.

And Sawyer, aka Mr. Joke Pants, was in full force.
“MO-OM!!! Come quick!
The toilet’s smoking!”

~ for the best news in the world! Sawyer the Warrior remains CANCER FREE! He had his bi-annual oncology checkup Wednesday and got a clean report from head to toe, including beautiful lab work. Going to Children’s is always emotionally exhausting; it’s impossible not to re-live the hundreds of inpatient and outpatient treatments over the years. The spinal taps, surgeries, blood transfusions, ICU hospitalizations, code team…my mind starts spinning, and when I breathe deeply with relief at healthy bloodwork, I suddenly realize I’ve been holding my breath. But Sawyer LOVES “his” hospital. He sees it as an amazing place where he gets to see his doctors and nurses who have become family, a place where “everybody knows his name,” a place where he always gets to choose a toy, a place where he knows he got better. (Not to mention his favorite 2 stops: Buccees and Whataburger!).

This time he cleaned the injection site, drew his labs, released his tourniquet, and bandaged himself!

But this visit will always stand out in my mind. A challenging conversation came up between myself and a healthcare professional, discussing our markedly different perspectives on faith. It was the kind of conversation that most adults would avoid at all costs. They were being honest about their difficulty in believing in God. Sawyer’s sweet voice spoke up above the grownups in the room. “Do you believe in Jesus?” My heart simultaneously soared and sank, so proud of his unabashed honesty, while my protective Mama Bear instincts wanted to protect him from the potential answer. (BUT GOD…) The person said they didn’t know how to believe in any god because so many terrible things are allowed to happen. And not directing his eyes or voice toward any person, Sawyer sat on the glossy black medical stool, spinning himself in circles, and said quietly, slowly, and clearly, “There is an order to all things.” And silence fell.

I know my son spoke the words of the Lord for that moment.

I have heard those words echo in my head and in my heart over and over this week.

I know he spoke those words for a purpose bigger than that moment. The Lord has saved Sawyer’s life so many times, and He has placed a boldness and a maturity in him that will open doors for him to share the Gospel.

I too have many questions. There is much I don’t understand. But my 8-year-old son reminded me that there truly IS an order to all things. And my lack of understanding doesn’t change that. God is sovereign and He is good. He is big enough for all our questions. If you know ANYTHING about kids, it’s that they ask A TON of QUESTIONS! ASK YOUR QUESTIONS!! Ask them all!

Let us all live with unashamed and bold faith like a child.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.” (Mark 10:13-16)

“When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet: all flocks and herds, and the animals of the wild, the birds in the sky, and the fish in the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!” (Psalms 8:3-9)

“Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me. Among the gods there is none like you, Lord; no deeds can compare with yours. All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, Lord; they will bring glory to your name. For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God. Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.” (Psalms 86:6-12)

“For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.” (Colossians 1:16-17)

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.” (John 1:1-3)

““So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Luke 11:9)

“P” is for Perspective

I am thankful:

~ for a good, crazy week. We made it through locker days and meet the teacher days and 18 more trips to Office Depot and orientations and back to school parties. And that was just Monday and Tuesday! I’ve got 2 at new campuses this year, so we toured and made sure they could find their way and understand their schedules.

Then it was finally time for the first day of school. New shoes, favorite outfits, bulging backpacks, and sleepy smiles. We got our traditional first day picture on the porch, but back a little bit, because the rain was absolutely pouring. (It overflowed our pool!)

As I got Tatum K dressed to take the kids to school in her new favorite jumper (wif a pocket!) and then watched Samantha do her hair in long pigtails, I was inspired for her first day of Pre-K. The letter “P” of course! God gave us lots of Puddles to Play in. We visited the Police station, where she gave the letter P a hug, and then had a Princess Picnic with all P foods. We had so much fun together.

No problem officer … we are just hugging the letter “P”

Before all the “P-Party” began, we started our day at the feet of Jesus. I told Tatum K that we need to always start with the most important part. We read the story of Creation from the Jesus Storybook Bible, and by the end, she could answer all my questions.

“In the beginning, what was there?”

“Nuffing. But God was there.”

“And what did He say?”

“Let there be light!”

“And then what did He make?”

“The sand and the sea and the trees and birds and all the animals and EVERYTHING!”

“And He made 2 people, what were their names?”

“Adam and Even.”

It was a Perfect first day.

Everyone had a great first day. We celebrated with a special snack and burgers for dinner. I assured the kids that we wouldn’t be maintaining this grand lifestyle every day. But first days are extra special.

~ for such kindness from the Lord on such an emotionally charged day. Even if I am, to a certain degree, glad to send the kids back to school, it’s still genuinely hard to let them go. They are growing up before my very eyes and I can feel the time slipping away. And as we all know, the world’s gone mad. So letting go of my most precious gifts is so so hard. Wednesday morning I got up extra early and when I opened up my Bible app, I was so encouraged.

I was even more encouraged because I knew what shirt Sawyer had chosen and laid out for himself to wear for his first day.

In that moment, I felt so seen and held and loved by my Heavenly Father. I already knew, but I needed reminding: He’s got my babies.

~ for continued “P” fun with Tatum K during the rest of the week.

~ for my special bracelets.

I wear my “it is well” bracelet every day. It is hand stamped brass, made by a childhood cancer mama who lost her beautiful girl only 12 days after her leukemia diagnosis. It reminds me to not lose heart on my hard days. God is always good, and always faithful. And if that broken mama can still say “it is well,” then so can I. And I recently was given one of the original “Praying for Baby Sawyer Rucker” bracelets. There aren’t many left, and the only one left in our house is broken. So when a sweet boy offered to give me his, I broke. I didn’t even try to stop the tears that came flooding. And the 3rd is a handmade leather bracelet from my mom. All three meaningful and beautiful in different ways.

~ for excitement brewing about our upcoming Gold Network ETX events coming up. Go GOLD Tyler is in just over a week, and Tyler Gold Run, 1 month. It’s CRUNCH TIME! Phone calls, emails, bookings, appointments, supplies…it’s NON STOP. So very thankful for the people helping behind the scenes.

~ for one of our most important, most critically needed events: CONNECT. Every few months, we host a gathering in our home for cancer moms and dads. To talk, to share, to laugh and cry together. We always cater in a delicious meal (this time Stanley’s World Famous BBQ!) and just spend time sharing our stories and leaning on one another. I love these families with my whole heart, and seeing them CONNECTING WITH EACH OTHER brings me so much joy.

I did hit a snag this week (several actually, but I’m just going to share about one.)

Every year we share a video featuring all our amazing warrior children from across East Texas. It is so emotional for everyone, but also very special. I can’t even tell you how many hours I put into this thing. I am NOT a tech savvy person, but I have (with MUCH trial and EVEN MORE error) taught myself how to build websites and graphics and videos for Gold Network, Tyler Gold Run, and Giddyup and Whoa. I originally created this video for the very first Go GOLD Tyler back in 2016, and I’ve updated and added to it each year. So, it’s time to start working on it this year, with so many new families to add.

The video is gone.

Sure, its on YouTube. I can WATCH it. But the editable file I’ve used to update is is gone. I’ve looked EVERYWHERE.

I began to panic, thinking of the hours and weeks of work it has taken over 6 collective years. How could I possibly start from scratch and have it done?

I frantically searched file after file and location after location on our computer. Then I looked at my bracelet. “it is well.” And I took a deep breath and began gathering pictures and starting a brand new project.

I have a million pictures of these children. And millionS of pictures of my own child.

I started finding picture after picture after picture. And as I looked at them, really looked at them: children in the hospital, some bald, some healthy, and some who have gone to be with Jesus…my perspective began to shift. I looked at these brave beautiful warriors smiling through their pain. And I have a second grader who wasn’t supposed to be here. BUT GOD! And I was freshly reminded that a stupid video is just a stupid video. What matters is fighting for these precious ones.

I still hope I get it done. I hope we line out all our details and that the events are successful. But none of that really matters. What matters is that our eyes and our anchors are fixed in Jesus. And that we love on all these families wherever they are in their journey.

Let’s love one another well, friends, and focus on the things that really matter. And those AREN’T THINGS!

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

A Square

Has anyone else felt completely confused and/or defeated this week?

“It’s not ok to say nothing.”

If you DID say (or post) something, somebody might have told you it was the wrong thing.

“You should’ve said….”

“You have to POST this….”

Then, if you did, “WHY did you do THAT? What are you trying to PROVE?”

Posting Scripture was often met with the response that it was a misuse of the context or else it was twisted into something negative.

Social media was a lose/lose this week.

I felt bullied. I felt like every single thing I did/said/posted/didn’t post needed an explanation and/or disclaimer.

Am I defined by a square? By crafting the perfect caption that sums up my beliefs and everything I stand for?

Part of me felt like it was just hopeless. The hate. The hurt. The injustice. The division. The name calling. It’s never gonna end. There is no RIGHT answer.

But there is. The right answer is always Jesus! The right answer is always that I must decrease so that He may increase. The right answer is always to love your neighbor as yourself, whoever that neighbor may be. The right answer is always that Light casts out darkness. And one glorious day it IS going to end.

I think some of the wisest words I’ve heard (outside Scripture) came from Anna on Frozen 2. “Just do the next right thing.”

And I want to try to do more of that. Whether it shows up on social media or not.

I am thankful:

~ for the Lord’s protection. Gavin and Sawyer were playing outside, and Sawyer was about to go potty “country boy style” outside when Gavin noticed something at his feet. At first, Sawyer didn’t believe it was real, but Gavin convinced him and the two boys ran screaming inside. “Snake!” Mama had to get brave with my rubber boots and long shovel, and put an end to the snake, which turned out to be a 2 foot long copperhead! I’ve never killed a snake before. I felt a little bit like She-Ra Warrior Princess and a little bit like passing out. When I think about what could have happened if Gavin hadn’t noticed it, or if Sawyer had reached down to grab it… BUT GOD.

~ for Dairy Queen chocolate dipped cones. Isn’t that just the flavor of summer?

~ for a great, HOT week at the Barn Sale. Wednesday was Early Bird Day, and the admission fees were donated to Gold Network of East TX, so I worked at the table selling admission tickets and sharing about our programs. I met some fabulous people, and so many were kind and super generous. The sale went on through Saturday, and I was thrilled to sell more than half the Giddyup & Whoa signs I had painted! Double blessing!

~ for Carson Grace turning 19. How? How can my Princess Peanut be 19 years old??? She had a great time being celebrated by her friends, and she squeezed in a window for us to have her birthday dinner. We all love her birthday, because she has such great taste: BBQ chicken legs, pickled cucumber and tomato salad, sweet potato fries with homemade ranch, and ice cream cake. Her meal was a celebration in itself! But in all seriousness, I am excited to see what the Lord opens up for and in her this year. She is such a bright light, I know she has so much shining to do for Him!

~ for cool, refreshingly sweet and tart lemon icebox pie. It didn’t last long.

~ for a few more treats from our garden, including a teensy bitsy carrot.

~ for successful completion of the next, highly stressful stage of our gradual kitchen reno. We busted up and ripped out the final slab of dark granite from our island. The next day, a freighter dropped off its replacement: a 500 pound 8 foot long maple butcher block. The driver asked how long it would take for us to get it inside and installed. Josh confidently assured him it would be in place that night. We enlisted the help of a neighbor, and josh and I and Cooper CAREFULLY slid the massive slab onto a flat dolly, wheeled it into the house, and hoisted all 500 pounds of it onto the island. That process went much more smoothly than I had envisioned in my mind. But then came the real challenge. To measure, re-measure, and measure AGAIN to confirm the opening Josh would have to CUT out of that beautiful butcher block for our range. No do-overs. No margin for error. Man, we were calling out to Jesus for sure! But as always, Josh was meticulous and BOLD, and he cut the hole perfectly in one shot. So happy with how it turned out.

Let’s love one another well this week. Less time staring at screens and more time looking into the actual eyes of actual people. Let’s not throw darts or dodgeballs, but engage in active listening and compassion. Let’s admit when we’re wrong and forgive when we’re wronged. And pray for the healing that our nation so desperately needs to start in our own homes and in our hearts.

Thanks for giving thanks with me. Y’all are truly such a blessing.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-7)

“Just do the next right thing

Take a step, step again

It is all that I can to do

The next right thing

I won’t look too far ahead

It’s too much for me to take

But break it down to this next breath, this next step

This next choice is one that I can make

So I’ll walk through this night

Stumbling blindly toward the light

And do the next right thing

And, with it done, what comes then?

When it’s clear that everything will never be the same again

Then I’ll make the choice to hear that voice

And do the next right thing”

(“The Next Right Thing” Kristen Bell)

Because He First Loved Us

I’m just so sad.

I’m overwhelmed with sadness.

I’m sad to hear story after story of hatred and brutality and discord, and watch angry lines be drawn and sides taken.

I’m sad to hear of abuses of power and people who are either too afraid or too numbed to stand up for what is right.

I’m sad to hear people make broad critical judgments about “ALL” of any group of people.

I’m sad thinking about what the future will be like for my children. And for children everywhere.

I’m sad to read more stories of more and more people turning away from their faith, because they don’t understand how a loving God “lets this stuff happen over and over again.”

I am a white, middle aged, middle class Christian female. I am a stay at home mom. I am a mother of nine. I am an adoptive parent. I am a cancer mom. Just because we don’t have any or all of those things in common, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be able to relate to one another. We are humans. We have hopes and dreams and fears for ourselves and our children.

I don’t think any of us are called to be “color blind.” We SHOULD see our world in color. We just need to see all color as beautiful and valuable. I am a Christian. I love Jesus with all my heart, and I believe in the Bible and everything it says. And there are people who disagree with me. And I think we can still be friends. We may not worship together, but we can walk side-by-side. And if you are thirsty, I will share my water with you. And it’s my responsibility to live and act in such a way that you would feel safe to share yours with me.

Love is a verb. Love is a choice. If we are called to love our neighbor as ourselves (which we are), then what hurts my neighbor hurts me. Whether that hurt comes from a cancer diagnosis, the loss of a child, the loss of a job because of Covid 19, or racial inequality.

Thursday morning I sat down with my Littles, and talked to them about the value and beauty of people of every color. About the value of being kind to people we don’t agree with. And about the importance of standing up for what is right, whether or not anyone else will stand up.

I was so blessed when I asked them what they would do if they saw someone was getting picked on or bullied or hurt. They all replied immediately in unison, “PRAY!”

I will try to do everything I can to raise kind humans who will love others with the love of Christ, who will be friends to the lonely, and who will reach out to the kid who is alone at a lunch table or gets picked last on the kickball team. I pray that they will grow up to be peacemakers and bridge builders looking for the common ground instead of picking at differences.

I am sad. But I have hope. BUT GOD.

And because God is worthy of praise regardless of circumstances, I will give thanks.

I am thankful:

~ for perfectly sweet, drip-down-your-chin fresh peaches.

~ for progress in the kitchen. I was super bummed that new countertops will not work with the backsplash I lovingly and painstakingly handpainted 2 years ago. But it’s fine. So thankful for my husband’s remodeling skills.

~ for the sound of my children’s voices worshipping.

~ for my belated-because-of-shipping Mother’s Day gift from Colton.

~ for ice cream.

~ for wonderful neighbors.

~ for tiny but tasty nibbles from our garden to add into our salads.

~ for my sweet kids who rub my hair when I have a headache.

~ for the Vintage & Company Gresham Barn Sale coming up Wednesday through Saturday. Excited to have several Giddyup & Whoa pieces for sale tucked in among the unique and charming vintage finds at the barn. And honored that the Early Bird entrance fees on Wednesday will benefit Gold Network of East Texas. Come check it out if you are local, you’ll be glad you did!

Let’s love one another well this week. Let’s love our neighbors. Let’s not hide behind social media and throw darts that we wouldn’t say face to face. Let’s look for the good and let’s BE THE GOOD. Let’s treat others BETTER THAN WE THINK THEY DESERVE. Let’s love like Jesus. Because if He can love ME, He really MUST love everybody.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” (1 John 4:19-21)

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:9-18)

But God

I am thankful:

~for cute/sweet conversations overheard….

Sawyer, “Mama! Tatum is jumping on me and squashing me and I can’t breathe!”

Tatum K “I sowwy Sasa.”

Sawyer, “It’s ok Tatum. I’ll always love you.”

~ for a couple beautiful days of sunshine! It was so refreshing to get outside and breathe deep in the crisp air and take a walk again!

~ for a great excuse for a sweet treat. February 18 is International Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day, a day set aside to raise awareness for childhood cancer. Often during cancer treatment, kids lose their appetite. The chemo makes food taste terrible and kids day nauseated day in and day out. Sometimes the only thing that sounds good or might bring a smile is some ice cream. So why not ice cream for breakfast? We join in to encourage kids who are fighting cancer, to celebrate with kids who have completed their treatment, and to remember the friends who were taken from us too soon. What a blessing to have friends from all over who joined in and shared their pictures with us. Thank you all so much.

~ for yet another birthday at our house – mine! I had a great day, lots of sweet messages from friends and family, homemade cards from the sweetest kids on the planet, a heavenly breakfast date with my sweetheart (and Tatum K of course), and a surprise coffee date with Colton! I was blessed beyond measure. Oh, and one of my highlights was getting the GOLD sneakers I’ve been dreaming of for a LONG TIME!!! And a new gold coffee cup! (Is there a theme here?)

~ for the kindness of Grace Community School. The GCS HOSA Club (Health Occupations Students of America, or Future Health Professionals) recently held a drive at the high school to collect the items we give in our New Diagnosis Survival Kits. We are so thankful for the HOSA students for organizing and the students for donating!

~ for amazing progress on Carson Grace’s room/my studio. The Murphy bed turned out great, and we (after 79,358 problems and equipment malfunctions) got the whole room sprayed a fresh, bright Alabaster white. I got inspired and started playing around with some stain colors and ended up loving the way the headboard turned out; and Josh did an amazing job on the reclaimed wood countertop. It’s so fun working on a new project together, and we are reminded of how much we enjoy the process of dreaming up a design and then knocking it out.

~for a beautiful opportunity for our girls to give a praise offering to the Lord. Samantha and Kora are a part of the Psalm 149 Dance Team at church, preteen girls learning the art of worship dance. The team is even taught by a young teenager who once danced in this group when she was younger. It was an honest and sweet outpouring of love for the Lord, and their performance at church this morning was so beautiful.

~ for 15 years of memories. We sorrowfully said goodbye to a precious member of our family this week, our 15-year-old pug, Cricket. He’s been the best dog and has been through it all with us. He was our first family dog when we just had three kids. He survived the great Rucker Population Explosion of 2013, and was a bright source of joy for us throughout the journey of cancer. He has rapidly deteriorated over the past few months, and I began to think the only thing keeping him alive was his sheer hatred of our new-er dog, Bear. We are thankful that he is no longer suffering, and we will lovingly remember him always, but there is a stinky, snuffy-nosed, Cricket-shaped place that hurts in all our hearts right now.

The words from the song I shared last week still resonate in my head… “Even when I don’t see it, You’re working. Even when I don’t feel it, You’re working. You never stop, You never stop working. You never stop, You never stop working.” No matter what’s going on, there are ALWAYS blessings to count. That’s what Sunday Gratitude is about.

But this week has been one blow after another.

A dear friend got a devastating health news.

Another friend had troubling findings on her sonogram.

A suffering mother anxiously longs for her healing by graduation to heaven.

Not one, but TWO new children were diagnosed with cancer here in Tyler.

And another family got the only news worse than “your child has cancer.” The words, “There’s nothing more we can do.”

BUT GOD.I say that a lot, both here on the blog and in real life.What does that even mean anyway? BUT GOD. It means He really IS the answer to every question.

Father God, I am out of pretty words. My heart is broken and bleeding and sad. I am hurting for my friends. I don’t understand. I don’t understand why babies have to get sick and suffer. I hate cancer. Oh, how I hate cancer. I don’t understand why some people get healed on this earth and some people don’t. But I do know with everything inside me that You are FULLY GOOD. I believe that You have a good plan that is better than mine. And I believe that You hold me when I’m sad and mad and confused and anxious and furious and falling apart. AND I BELIEVE THAT THIS WORLD IS PASSING AWAY AND WE WILL ONE DAY LIVE A GLORIOUS LIFE WITH YOU IN HEAVEN! And there will be NO MORE SORROW AND NO MORE PAIN! How I long for that day! Until then, Father God, please hold my friends close. Give them Your supernatural peace that defies all logic. Give them grace breath by breath to walk through their circumstances. Surround them with friends who bring Your comfort. Show us how to help them in real life, practical ways. If it’s Your will to heal on this earth – HEAL!!!! To You be all the glory!!!! And if it’s Your will to heal them in heaven, let it be bathed in Your infinite mercy, and help us to trust in Your timing. Jesus COME!

Please pray for the hurting people all around you.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

““For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:37-39)

Momentum

I am thankful:

~ for MOMENTUM. Josh got started on all those projects last week (Click here if you missed them), and just kept right on going. The laundry room refresh was so great…but he still wasn’t satisfied. Monday he came home from work and started putting up a white subway tile backsplash! It turned out SO BEAUTIFUL! I genuinely LOVE going in there to do my laundry now!

~ Josh’s momentum inspired me to get back on scraping my beams! That daunting project has been on the back burner for MONTHS, but I got back at it this week. It’s going a lot slower because I am doing all the scraping by hand instead of using the planer (planer is just TOO LOUD for Tatum K and Bear ). But I am going to PRESS ON!

~ for a nice emerging tradition: Colton joining us for dinner on Monday nights. It’s typically his day off so it has been working well with his schedule, and we all just love having him with us. He enjoys having a mom-cooked meal and it does my heart good to have him home just for a minute.

~ for Tatum K’s bright and unpredictable personality. That spicy girl keeps me on my toes, and keeps me laughing every day.

~ for Gavin’s amazingly bright mind and creativity. He is gobbling up the WWII for Kids book he got for Christmas, and is always sharing what he is reading in it. He spent one afternoon creating his own “military code” inspired by something he read in the book, and got totally into writing coded messages. Can’t wait to see what God does with that brilliant mind of his.

~ for one of the most joyful and long-awaited days I can even imagine. Our beloved friends Chris and Lindsay finalized the adoption of their beautiful SON, Coby Tate. They have prayed to be parents for years, waited patiently and impatiently on the Lord, walked through agonizing heartbreak, and finally…FINALLY, the cries of their heart were answered BEYOND MEASURE! This is the absolutely most blessed and fortunate little boy. He hit the jackpot with the most loving parents on the planet. Thank You God, for Your faithfulness that is always right on time!

~ for the delicious decadence of a juicy C Rojo’s Wayagu burger and indulgent sweet potato truffle fries. I have been craving this burger for over a week, but we couldn’t ever catch the truck before they ran out of food! It was WORTH THE WAIT! SO GOOD!!!!

~ for the opportunity to see Kora give her speech to her class during their Toastmasters presentation. Her eyes just sparkle when she sees that I am there in the audience.

~ for lots of special Giddyup & Whoa pieces in the works. We have a few items going to the Vintage & Co Valentine’s Pop Up Shop coming up this week, February 6-9. If you are local, be sure to stop by. Jodi and her team have impeccable taste, and they always put together the best collections of unique vintage finds.

~ for the best Goodwill find in a long time: an awesome, unique coffee table! It was in bad shape: a blotchy, marred finish and layers of spilled glitter all over it, but it was crying out to be revamped. We gave it a good sanding and a bleach bath, and then I tried my hand at homemade liming wax for the first time. I am completely in love with the end result! I actually “rescued” a little desk out of a dumpster this morning (still in my bathrobe, no less) and I can’t wait to give it a makeover!

~ for another weekend of having Carson Grace and her roommate here. I miss her so much when she’s gone, and it just fills my heart to have her here even for a couple of days. And it’s my prayer that she gets her “tank” full when she comes home.

~ I’m thankful that when I backed out of my garage, not realizing that the garage door was partially down, I banged into it JUST A LITTLE, and barely dented the door instead of tearing it down completely.

~ for a fun night of food, fellowship, and football. East Texas has had SuperBowl fever with local hometown hero Pat Mahomes, Jr. being the talk of the press across the nation. So it was more fun than ever to have a house full of friends and “FRAMILY” to watch the game and cheer the Chiefs to victory. I can’t remember the last time I saw (and ate) so much good food, from spicy wings to juicy pulled pork; hot, cheesy cheese dip and rich, creamy banana pudding! I think the food was the star and the football was the bonus!

So many blessings, so much to give thanks for…but in all honesty, this has been a TOUGH WEEK personally. Parenting is NO JOKE. This stuff is Capital “H” Hard. And I know most of you are nodding your heads right now. Because life is full of lots of good if you choose to look for it, but positive outlook or not, life is also just plain HARD. Often I feel like I get going in a good rhythm, get through to one of the kids, get the house organized…and then, “whack-a-mole!” Everything falls apart. Back to square 1, or even worse. It’s just always something. Parenting was hard this week: we had to work through some not-very-fun stuff and say some difficult “no”s. But the Lord keeps pressing the word “momentum” on my heart. The simple definition of momentum is “mass in motion.” And the larger the mass and the faster the motion, the more momentum is created. Josh’s large vision and fast progression created MOMENTUM…it inspired us to GET moving and KEEP moving. But most of the time, it’s so easy to just waffle, or drift. Why is is SO HARD to gain and maintain POSITIVE MOMENTUM? And so easy to lose it…or even worse, pick up negative momentum? I know it’s partially because of our sinful, selfish, lazy nature…it’s just in there, whether we admit it or not. Most of the time we’d rather sidestep the hard work it takes to get moving and keep moving. But we also are subject to the negative impact of the world around us, and the enemy of Light that actively seeks to stumble us. WE CANNOT BE PASSIVE because negativity will pull us down. When things are hard at home. Or work. Or with the kids. If we passively have a “good day” and it’s followed by a “rough day,” we don’t ever get anywhere. But instead, we have to fight to press forward: through the hard AND through the “blah.” I just feel burning in my heart the challenge to PRESS IN AND PRESS ON. UNDETERRED. I am not by any means talking about muscling through in my own strength. I just mean pressing in to God in trust and in prayer when things get hard instead of slinking away and throwing my hands up. I’m not giving up! My “mass” of faith and hope is going to keep growing and gaining speed and creating positive MOMENTUM. When we have a rough day, I’m going to look to Jesus and believe that He is good, and He is working, and He is with me in the trial. And together we will press on. I’m going to scrape these beams. I’m going to raise all these kids. I’m going to serve my husband. And I’m going to fall on my face and make a zillion mistakes along the way. BUT GOD! Because I’m going to keep getting back up and keep not quitting. And by the grace of God, one day I will look back and thank Him for the perfect purposes He had for every piece. (I’m absolutely preaching to myself here, but I hope it encourages someone else out there…)

Let’s build up some positive, Jesus-inspired MOMENTUM this week, and love others well.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

(Philippians 3:13-14)

“For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:8-9)

He Will Make a Way

I am thankful:

~ for the clean slate of January around my house. All the Christmas decor is neatly stored away in the attic until next year, and everything feels brighter and more open.

~ for kids going back to school. They were ready, and so was Mom.

~ for a mini living room refresh. Christmas gift cards provided a new rug and floor lamp that make the room cozy and inviting. Of course, because this is REAL LIFE, we’d had the rug for EXACTLY 2 HOURS when our dog had a MOST UNFORTUNATE accident in the middle of it.

~ that FINALLY after SIX DAYS of REPEATED MOST UNFORTUNATE accidents ALL OVER MY HOUSE, our dog is over whatever made him sick.

~ for Sawyer’s first time to receive a Character Quality award at Chapel. He got one in JrK last year, but in that grade, awards are given in the classroom. This time, he got to hear his name called (it’s always kept a surprise) and walk up on the stage in front of the whole school to receive an award from the Principal and Vice Principal. It sure was special to see those little legs and that curly head march up all those stairs and shake their hands! And I love that he was recognized for “Contentment.” He really is such a great sport and is (usually) happy with whatever circumstance he is in.

~ for Josh’s new favorite dish to cook: roasted chicken quarters smothered with onions and peppers. Slow cooked all day, it is just completely delicious!

~ for Walmart grocery pickup, so I can get my groceries in my pajamas in the rain!

~ for an encouraging and productive Gold Network of ETX meeting. Our team is growing and I am SO EXCITED about what we have planned for this year! More details to come soon…

~ for Gavin’s bright, inquisitive mind. He is always asking questions and figuring things out. He found a game with letter tiles and spelled “ supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” I think I corrected 3 letters, otherwise he had gotten it right!

~ for my darling husband who understands me. He barely batted an eye when I told him I needed to drive across town at 9 o’clock at night to pick up a curbside treasure pile I saw listed on Facebook. BIG TIME SCORE! (I knew it would be gone if I waited until morning).

~ for an exciting opportunity for worlds to collide! I found out this week that a local boutique was hosting a Pop up Shop and had chosen to benefit Gold Network! When the shop owner and I realized we had mutual friends, we were thrilled, and she invited Giddyup&Whoa to be a vendor at her sale! So I have another sale to prepare for, AND it will benefit GNET! Is that not AWESOME!!??

~for my sweet dad who CLAIMS to have turned 71 today. I told him he must be counting wrong, because that sure does sound awful old. He agreed.

~ for these past weeks with my girl home. It’s like we suddenly realized just this weekend that she was leaving us again. We soaked up some last minute quality time: watched movies together, made favorite meals, she painted with the Littles, went on a walk. We went out to eat as a family, which we never ever do (I mean seriously, can you blame us?). She chose Posado’s. So over chips and salsa and soft serve ice cream, we laughed and loved on each other. Today we loaded up everything and drove her back to college. I miss her already. I pray for her to remember who she is and Whose she is and that she learns as much about herself as she does in her classes.

~ for the most encouraging worship and testimony mid-week service at church. One after another, people rushed to the stage to share what God was doing in their lives and in their hearts. Testifying of healing. Testifying of His faithfulness. My sweet 8-year-old niece, Kate, got up to share her simple, powerful testimony. “I have celiac disease. When I was in the hospital, Jesus was there. And He told me, “”Don’t be afraid.””

~ for BREAKTHROUGH. Josh and I have been praying through some things, some personal struggles, that have weighed heavily on our hearts. Actually SEVERAL pretty major prayer concerns. And I have to admit we have both been in a place of discouragement. This week…one of them just…BROKE. We were asking for a change, and God did it. Not AT ALL in the way we were expecting or asking for. It was an INTERNAL change instead of EXTERNAL. But that internal heart readjustment was a game changer in every way. The best part was how God used the healing in one area to reignite my faltering hope in the other areas I’ve been praying about. He spoke into my heart that He “will make a way where there is no way.” He reminded me of His goodness and His faithfulness…which of course have been there all along. I can look back and mark testimony after testimony after testimony of Jesus knocking our socks off over the years with answers to prayers that were so far superior to what we asked Him for. So why do I let myself forget that? Why do I whine and fret and impatiently doubt Him when my answer doesn’t come fast enough? I know I have an enemy that’s betting on me to fail, but why don’t I stake my life on the knowledge that My God is on my side, and will never be defeated? Thank You, Father, for the reminder of Your unending Love and unfailing Faithfulness. Even this evening on the way back home from dropping Carson Grace back at school, I was crying silently, wrestling with fear and sadness and anxiety (AGAIN??!!) when I heard soft singing in the seat behind me. Sawyer, buckled in his carseat, just looking out the window, singing to himself, not even knowing he was singing to ME, “Savior, He can move the mountains…my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save. Forever, author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave…”

I have so much going on right now, if I take the time to list it all, I can guarantee an instant anxiety attack. Not even joking. But God. He is the God of my calendar, of my lists, of my responsibilities. He knows the tiny prayers I don’t even verbalize and the gut wrenching cries of my heart that wake me up in the middle of the night. He is the Provider of my energy and health and courage and grace. And I know it’s not all going to play out perfectly. Some things are going to fall apart, I’m going to forget to do something, and I’ll make a ton of mistakes along the way. But God. If I let Him, He will make beauty out of my messes. And anything that goes right will be BECAUSE OF HIM, and He will get all the glory, AS HE SHOULD!

What are you asking God for? Do you trust Him enough to ASK BIG? Do you trust Him enough to WAIT? Do you trust Him enough to LET GO? I’m sure trying…

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights.” (Psalms 18:30-33)

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19)

“God is with us / God is on our side / He will make a way / Far above all we know, far about all we hope / He has done great things / Lifted up He defeated the grave / raised to life / Our God is able / in His Name we overcome / for the Lord our God is able” (“God is Able,” Hillsong Worship)

Happy “New Day”

I am thankful:

~ for a staggering honor and privilege: I wrote a check from Gold Network of ETX for TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS! We donated $10,000 to Dr. Ted Laetsch at Children’s Hospital to support his cutting edge research projects for improved cures and therapies for childhood cancer. Dr. Laetsch was on Sawyer’s oncology team, so the donation is even more meaningful. We are so grateful for the funds raised through Tyler Gold Run and and generous donations from the community to help Gold Network do what we do. Our primary focus will remain local family support, but we will always donate toward childhood cancer research in hopes that one day our GNET mission will become obsolete! Until then, we press on. We have exciting new dreams brewing for the upcoming year…more information coming soon!

~ for laid back schedule-free days on break. The kids have painted, baked cookies, learned new tricks on the trampoline, decorated a gingerbread house, and we have made a TINY dent in the HARDEST PUZZLE IN THE WORLD.

~ for a manageably fun-enough New Years. We stayed home. Ate chili. “Nice Mom” showed up and let the kids stay up until 10 and played with sparklers in their pjs. Then mom, dad, and Bigs stayed up to watch the ball drop just to say we did. But it felt really important to me that the first thing we did in 2020 was to pray together as a family. It was simple, sweet, and I will treasure it always.

~ for traditional black eyed peas, buttery roasted cabbage, and steaming hot sweet cornbread on New Year’s Day.

~ for a Starbucks gift card and a Starbucks right around the corner from our house! Bear was glad he rode along, they gave him a “Pup-puccino!!”

~ for a fun overnight sleepover for Gavin to Uncle Justin and Aunt Gina’s. He had the feast of his dreams and had 24 blissful hours as an only child! A trip to Kilgore to explore the East Texas Oil Museum and a mile-high loaded cheeseburger were the perfect fit for our inquisitive boy.

~ for a joyful dream-come-true for dear friends. Before brave 10 year old cancer warrior Luke went to be with Jesus in 2018, his dream was for his beautiful husky Scout to become a therapy dog. This week, that dream came true! Scout went through the rigorous testing to become certified, and PASSED! Now Scout will be able to bring joy and smiles to kids in the hospital and continue sharing Luke’s legacy, bringing glimmers of beauty from the unspeakable pain his mom and dad and brother are walking through. You can read more about Luke and his family’s unshakable faith and generosity here. https://lukestrong.org/

~ for an exciting new venture for G&W: we launched our new website, www.giddyupandwhoa.com! We’ve been praying about this for a while, and decided to make the leap in hopes of growing our business. We also were super blessed with a new connection for old wood. We have had our eye on a large section of damaged fence for months, and this week I worked up the courage to stop by the house and ask for it. I was met by the sweetest gentleman who was delighted to have the fence hauled off, even taking my card for when he tears more of it down! Finds like those are the best!

Josh has created some beautiful new reclaimed wood decor pieces in addition to a fresh batch of signs, so we are ready for a great year! It’s amazing to me that we started this journey by tiptoeing onto social media last year at Thanksgiving. Excited to see where the Lord takes us. We even included a link to Sunday Gratitude on the G&W website. Amazing to see different pieces of our dreams begin to braid together.

~ for the opportunity to reflect on the past decade. I always get a little moony at the turn of the new year…to me it’s just natural to look back and take stock, and that process always proves emotional for me. Looking back not just a year but a decade was pretty staggering. I’ll spare you the in-depth play by play, but 10 years ago we only had 4 children, were going through the process of our first adoption, and Josh was self employed, remodeling and flipping houses. We often look back and say that that was the season we thought we could tie a bow on our picture perfect little family with our beautifully God-ordained adoption story as the crescendo of our testimony. BUT GOD. In the infinite wisdom of our Father, we had no idea what was coming. We never dreamed of car wrecks and ATV wrecks and fostering. Never dreamed Josh and I would go from completely disagreeing about whether or not to grow our family to getting on the same page, only to walk through the heartbreak of losing a baby, then adopt 3 and have 2 more! We would never have imagined cancer. Cancer changed EVERYTHING. I don’t even recognize that family from 10 years ago. But out of the wreckage also came beauty. A front row seat for miracles. For excruciating grace. So many wonderful, life-changing relationships born in and outside the hospital. The Gold Run and Gold Network, opening doors to share hope with people all over. And God has entrusted us with the stewardship of all these remarkable children in our family… gifts that I didn’t even ask for because I couldn’t have dreamed them up… And even if New Year’s resolutions are hokey and empty, I appreciate the crisp, fresh air that comes with the turn of the calendar page, like the warmth of sunrise after a dark night. My Father’s arms are always open. And with renewed passion, I will seek to love Him with more of my heart this year. And serve Him more and myself less. Oh Lord, the cry of my heart is to let go and trust You. So if I WAS going to have a resolution, that would be it. But I think that has to be more of a New Day’s Resolution. EVERY DAY.

Let’s love one another well this week.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:33-34)

“We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalms 139:23-24)

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.” (Psalms 51:10-12)

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

I am thankful:

~ for innocent children who aren’t afraid to ask the questions we all wonder. “Mama? What is piggy pudding? And why do they want it so bad?” “And what does pa-rum-pum-pum-pum MEAN?”

~ for a sweet night of fellowship with our Tyler Christian Fellowship elders, deacons, and wives. And for pumpkin bread pudding with warm salted caramel sauce.

~for the sweetest Christmas play at the school. Zoe and Gavin brilliantly executed their parts in “It Happened in the Country.” Gavin even had his first little solo and did a great job. I love seeing them so excited to share their hard work with us.

~ for GPS. Tyler is famous for its holiday traffic jams, and the GPS on my phone was able to pinpoint the trouble areas and reroute me. Even though it took me miles out of the way, it was undoubtedly faster than the direct route. I would still be sitting on Broadway…

~ for human Christmas party ping pong. I pinged and I ponged my way through five simultaneous Christmas parties at opposite ends of the elementary school. They had Christmas movies, toilet paper snowman building, cookie decorating, and pancakes in pajamas. The kids all had a ball and then that was that! They are all officially home for Christmas!

We are now enjoying lounging around, living room football, and binge-watching Disney plus. And we finished our puzzle. Sadly, Tatum and Bear ate 7 pieces, so we didn’t get the full victorious satisfaction.

~ for the dollar store. Love me some dollar store when it’s time to shop for Christmas stockings for 9 kids!

~ for the absolutely MOST DELICIOUS slow-cooked, fall off the bone, flavor-LICIOUS ribs on the planet. Drew, you are a BBQ ARTIST!!!!

~ for encouragement from the Lord: through His Word, His Voice, and His people. It brings such comfort to know that my Heavenly Father sees me and cares about every detail of my life, and that He is WORKING IN AND THROUGH every trial to refine me and make me more like Him. It’s so incredibly hard to stop trying to control everything. Even though my mind knows that I don’t have ANY POWER to control anything anyway, I still waste so much energy fighting for it. I can’t control Sawyer’s health, or whether or not his cancer will return. I can’t control what others think of me or whether or not they love and accept me. I can’t control my children’s choices or their relationship with the Lord. And sometimes that makes me feel so empty and powerless and just plain hopeless.

But God.

An empty vessel. Cracked and broken. The perfect vessel for the Lord to pour into and fill to overflowing. Every crack in me allows Jesus to shine through more. If I am empty, there’s more room for Him. I’m not trying to say that I just radiate Jesus everywhere I go. Or that I am moping around sad and hopeless. I’m just increasingly aware that God’s power shines through my weakness WHEN I LET HIM. I am more useful in my honest brokenness than I could ever dream to be in any artificial“I’ve-got-it-all-together-ness.”

My life feels kind of out of control. But that’s ok. Because my Perfect Father has a Perfect Plan for all the details. And I don’t have to know what’s next, because I know who’s in charge and I KNOW THE ENDING. The story will end with Jesus on the Throne and every knee bowed. Glorious.

We eagerly count down the days until Christmas, and those who are Christ-followers celebrate the birth of the Messiah. “Jesus IS the reason for the season.”

But it’s so much more.

Jesus is more than the baby in the manger. More than a miracle that wowed some shepherds in the middle of the night. HOPE was born. The REMEDY for our brokenness. FREEDOM for the captives. He came to walk among us, to turn religion on its head, and teach us what LOVE looks like.

So wherever you are in the midst of your Christmas busy-ness, MAKE SOME ROOM. As you shop in the madness of stores or fight your way through traffic, look around. See the exhausted checkout clerk. Or the frazzled mother dragging her kids out of the toy aisle. If you are breaking your back to get your baking done, your house spotless, and fretting about the relatives that you are not looking forward to seeing this year…take a deep breath and think about the families who will spend Christmas in the hospital or who would give ANYTHING for one more Christmas with their mom, or their dad, or their husband, or their child. Let’s ungrit our teeth and unclench our hearts and pour Jesus on each other instead. Spend more time than money. Give less stuff and more of ourselves. This Christmas might not be perfect, but it will never be this Christmas again.

FullSizeRender 7.JPG — Christmas in the hospital, 2014

Let’s love one another well this week. Merry CHRISTmas!

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”” (Luke 2:10-14)

“Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:9-11)

The Biggest Little Things

I am thankful:

~ for HEALING! The Rucker Tribe has survived the Great Flu of 2019. Oh, we still have some sniffles, snuffles, and coughs. And sleep is still hit or miss (mostly miss). But it is a vast improvement over last week to say the VERY LEAST. Thank You JESUS! And thank you to all of you for reaching out with your kind words and encouragements.

~for all the funny little memories at Christmastime. For the kids’ love of EVERY Christmas song, and how they sing out with all their hearts. I love that Tatum K doesn’t know who Santa is. She just points when she sees a picture or an inflatable and says, “look mama! It’s a May-wee Cwis-mas boy!” We have had fun running errands together, she’s my little buddy while kiddos are at school. She attracts a lot of attention wherever we go, so stinkin’ cute in her little boots and messy bun. At this store she found slippers that matched her little sherpa jacket, so she had to give them “a lovey.” Oh Lord, let her stay my sweet tiny Tater.

~ for puzzles. I forget how fun puzzles are.

~ for a wonderfully special occasion worthy of celebration: Grandmommy’s 70th birthday! Aunt Polly hosted the gathering, and we feasted on brisket and chips and dips and a charming custom purse cake topped with FON-DANT. We all laughed and made Grandmommy cry, and celebrated the legacy of the lovely, godly lady we all love so much.

~ as always, Grandmommy’s birthday also marks the start of the greatly anticipated tradition: 12 Days of Christmas. Each night we gather and sing the song, and then open our thoughtful treat and take our picture. The kids absolutely love the whole process, and I am so thankful for all the work that Grandmommy puts into it all. These are memories that will last forever. I am a sucker for traditions, and it fills my heart to see the smiles of my babies beside the tree. Day 1 was sticker page nativities. And you have never seen such joy as they each diligently worked on decorating their own paper.

~ for such a fun Christmas party with our small group from church. The adults had organized a rowdy (and rather cut-throat) white elephant gift exchange. The kids were very intrigued by the idea (I mean, OBVIOUSLY they saw a bunch of gifts and wanted some) so I quickly gathered items from around our house to put together a white elephant exchange for them. None of them had ever played it before, so it was a little challenging. Sawyer ended up with the dud gift: a ladies bracelet and a coupon. He was NOT IMPRESSED. Nor was he gracious about being disappointed. There were tears. Everyone else had fun though. I’m thankful for such a fun group. As you can see, I was in a PARTICULARLY FESTIVE mood.

~ for a new-to-me treat: baked crescent rolls filled with melted chocolate chips and drizzled with powdered sugar glaze. Just STOP IT!

~ for last minute Giddyup & Whoa orders. you can imagine how tight the budget gets with nine kids at Christmas time. Even though our focus is definitely not on spending a lot on extravagant gifts, all the expenses just all add up faster than the deposits. Every order is truly a blessing, and we are so grateful for the way God provides! It is such an honor to be trusted with bringing to life special mementos for people.

~ for amazing and inspiring connections. I got a sign order this week from a lady I did not know. She had taken my card at the show at the Foundry several weeks ago and just now contacted me. She came to the house to pick up her order, and we had the best conversation! She is also a mother of 9, and we have several common friendships. Such a small world. The sign she had me do for her was so unique and personal, my very favorite kind of sign to paint. A saying with personal meaning that you’re just not going to find hanging in Hobby Lobby. She had asked me to paint “Love is the Tuesdays.” It’s a lyric from the song, “Tuesday’s,” by Jake Scott, and it was a gift for her husband. She encouraged Josh and I to listen to the song, which we did later that evening. The song is advice given by a father to a young man who is asking to marry his daughter. “No it’s not Hollywood son ’cause troubles will come / But it’s the best decision you’re ever gonna make / And you’ve got my blessing but just hear this lesson / Twenty-seven years and all I’ve got to say / Is it’s not just picture perfect dancing in a white dress / It’s not just rainy days where nothing stops the fighting / It’s not just highs and lows and champagne toasts / I’ve come to know that love’s not only the best days or the worst days / Love is the Tuesdays”

Isn’t that just the truth? Love is the everyday moments that happen in between the highs and the lows. So blessed by the song and touched by the sentiment behind the sign order.

~ for an amazing accomplishment for my INCREDIBLE HUSBAND! A few weeks ago he took the step of faith to enroll in an online real estate course, and this week he completed the first class and ACED his first exam! So proud of this remarkable man of mine and excited to see what doors God will open down the road!

~ for the kids’ DARLING Christmas program at church. From our Tribe, we had scintillating portrayals of an angel, King Herod, and Caesar Augustus, as well as 2 eloquent narrators. There is something so pure about seeing the story of Jesus’ birth through the eyes and lips of children. And even seeing how beautiful and grown up Samantha and Kora are. Zoe sparkling in her tinsel halo. Sawyer, serious as can be, sternly barking out his line, and Gavin’s dramatic death on stage. Even Tatum K’s spontaneous interruptions asking when it would be “cookie time.” It was just so very special.

Before the Children’s Program, Becky the Children’s Pastor, asked the audience to pause. I LOVED how she said it. “Let’s just pause a moment to make some room. We can’t appreciate a gift we are given if we don’t take the time to realize how much we NEED that gift.” Advent is the season of waiting. Waiting expectantly for the birth of the King. Waiting longingly for His Return. But do we have room? Are we too busy and distracted by the cares of this world? By how many friends/followers/likes we can accumulate? By having the Pinterest-perfect porch display, ugly sweater, or charcuterie board? By buying the perfect gift to outdo what we gave last year?

Quieting our heart is hard. Waiting is hard. What are you waiting on? What prayer are you praying that has not yet been answered? My heart aches with the weight of some of the things I wait for, long for. But I know God sees me. I know He cares about the things and the people I’m asking Him for. He saw the needs of the people of Israel. He had a plan to meet those needs. He has a plan to fulfill every need. But for now, we wait. Creation is groaning for our Coming King. We ache for healing, for reconciliation, for restoration. We cry out to Him for a Breakthrough. And sometimes every single thing our eyes see looks like failure. Hopeless. But the God of Hope is working when we cannot see. And thankfully, His power is not contingent on our faith. I thank God for that every day. Because my faith feels so small and my vision falls so short. But God. So whatever it is you are waiting for, don’t lose heart.

He is working.

He is coming.

And He’s always right on time.

So let’s pause a moment. And let’s make some room for Jesus in our hearts and our schedules this week.

Thanks for giving thanks with me.

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalms 27:13-14)

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed….We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently….And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:18-19, 22-25, 28)